Tell Me, We Both Matter, Don't We?
by JessRosser
Summary: If Edward never came back for Bella, what would she do? If Esme decided that Carlisle just wasn't what she wanted in life, what would he do? This is the story of two people finding out, how much they are truly worth, and that they deserve happiness. Bella/Carlisle AU/Canon as much as possible. Rated M for language/fluff/lemons. ;)
1. Chapter 1

**Authors note: Yes, I'm starting a new fic. For any of you reading Blood Red Moon, it's paused for a bit, I've hit a road block with it. If anyone wants to help, PM me. **

_**"There's so much hate for the ones we love?**_

_**Tell me, we both matter, don't we?**_

_**You, you and me**_

_**You and me, won't be unhappy. "**_

_**PLACEBO - RUNNING UP THAT HILL **_

JOURNAL ENTRY

October 1st, 2011

_These violent delights have violent ends and in their triumph die, like fire and powder, which as they kiss consume._

Those words that I had to much of a romantic mind and believed that it was actually a good quote. That Edward was my Romeo, and I his Juliet. In the end, I would join him in death. Just a un-dead death. That merely showcased how ignorant I truly was. Romeo and Juliet was a _tragedy. Violent passion, always has a violent end. _Now my life was one, he left me dead and broken, but it wasn't showing. It was internal, and feirce with it's pain. The numbness that consumed my soul when I wasn't in pain. My life would have had little meaning if it had ended when I wanted it to. Such a naive little girl I was. Yet I'm still here, scawling down bitter words in my therapy journal I was told I should start keeping. Even though I had to lie to her, she was helping me get over some things. After how hurt, simply betrayed my best friend, my boyfriend had caused, I was angry. Violently mad. Like any woman should have been after you find the man you finally think you can fully love in the arms a bleach blonde, carpet not matching the drapery at all whore with fake everything. What set me apart, was after all the anger. I gave up. I wanted to die, to simply end it all. The fighter finally tapped out inside of me. The scars on my wrist's were an everyday reminder of this. Well there it is, my weekly repeating of what I've lived through, of what I can overcome. Maybe I don't like that woman after all.

The Story-

Much like he foretold, my memories began to fade, the pain eased, it took it's damn time but it eased nevertheless. The weeks past, the months past and soon even the years past. I had my distractions. Jacob Black had helped me, so much I could never repay him, but he had wanted more. I gave it to him, it hopes that he wouldn't give up on me. Yet there was a peice still missing from my glued together form. I wasn't perfect, but I don't think I deserved to be fucked around on when I was off in college.

I left Forks, and all the horrible memories, behind after graduating from Washington University. Once it hit me, that I wanted to help people, that I always had, it was easy for me to switch my nothing more than a zombie existence into something productive. I saved money, grants and a small scholarship paid my way through school. I worked hard, took on a small role at the hospital in Forks during my Senior year, and even took summer classes. Plus working at a clinic in Seattle, all while attending the university. I was twenty-one when I became a certified ER nurse. I felt I could help the most there. My fear of blood was gone, long gone, my will power became stronger. I no longer got nauseated.

My move wasn't planned, I was still clinging to a lost hope that one day, they just might come back. I spent my first year at the Hospital in Seattle, before they switched me to Tacoma. Another year spent there and I was looking to move. My bones ached for the heat, I was sick of the grim whether that haunted me. So I started looking, with luck that I rarely had, I found a perfect job. It was my first time on my own, really, really on my own. Semi small town, but enough traffic to keep me busy. Wickenburg Arizona was the place to be. So I packed up my small apartment, abandoning my couch, but the rest fit in the back of my truck.

Not the beast from my teenage years, it unfortunately died on me. I owned an older Ford Ranger my father had helped me purchase. I found a small house, one bedroom, with small features, but it just seemed to fit me. It was solid and made of red brick, plus the rent was cheap. Glendale Arizona has been just a semi short drive to Phoenix. It was a large city that I could easily get lost in. The hospital was always busy, with little break time. I liked it. I had even made a few friends out of the other younger nurses, but the older ones seemed to stay away or shoot me dirty looks. I worked the night shifts, I had trouble sleeping so it was perfectly fine for me to be up all night, catch a few hours in the morning then spend the rest of the day in the bright sun.

My place was as put together as it could be, simple furniture, all of my books, even a smaller television. Simple, neat, dark and as my mother told me very chic for what it was. I sighed as I looked over the file in front of me. Mr. Bane was in here again, I swear he came in just to be a thorn in my side. He was an evil old man that liked to grab my ass and think he could get away with it.

"Bellla!" Zoey came rushing up to me, she had bright pink scrubs on today, always the brightest here. When I stuck with a dark blue or black.

"What's up Zoe?"

"Theres going to be a new night shift Doctor, Laurie-Ann said he's gorgous! And young!" She was squealing like a school girl. I merely rolled my eyes at her, and began walking the circle that was the general admittance for non critical emergencies.

"We don't need no Docter drama Zoey."

"Oh can you not always be a cranky-butt?"

"I'm not a cranky but, I just like my work. Staff can't date."

"No, _you_ can't date."

"I date!" I said it a little too loudly, my lying habits were never good. I hadn't dated anyone since Jacob. And that was two years age, but she didn't know that.

"Who? Name someone."

"Um.. I don't need to date, I just need to focus on work for right-"

"Your here aren't you? You've been a nurse for three years B, you can calm down just a bit. At least come out with me this Friday, like you've been promised." She looked at me with those huge puppy eyes and I just couldn't say no to her.

"Fine, as long as you don't make a fool of yourself if Laurie is telling the truth." She rolled her eyes while nodding her head. "Z, say it."

"Finnne! I'll leave him alone." She unhappily crossed her arms around her chest. I laughed slightly, entering Mr. Banes room, sliding open the green curtain.

The sight before me made me want to sanitize my eyes with alcohol, but it was nothing I hadn't seen before. "Mr. Bane!" I switched back the cloth before Zoey could enter, merely shaking my head rapidly. "That's it, I've had it. We need a phyc eval for him. Or security."

"What is he doing now? Posing on the bed waiting for you?" She was on the verge of laughter, and it angered me. She didn't have to view a naked ancient man every week, or now a naked ancient man getting himself off. My whole body shuddered.

"I'm trying to forget what I just saw!" I saw Doctor Cole walking by, a gentle older man who was a very good doctor. Handsome features, but still had a note of plane about him."Sir?" I caught up to his quick pace, leaving Zoey to finish the rounds."Mr. Bane, does he have any family at all? There has to be something we can do to make him stop doing this."

"What's the man done now Swan?" His tone was tired, but not of me, it held no traces of anger, he simply was _tired. _ Blood rushed to my cheeks at having to answer.

"He was uh.. He was naked on the bed, masturbating." His walk jolted before carrying on.

"I'll get a head shrink here, and contact the admin to see if she can get him in a home or something over the night. Might scare him off more so than the guards. "

"Thank you." He nodded, pressing the button on the elevator we had arrived at. He seemed to ponder something before turning to me.

"There will be a knew night shift docter. I won't be here anymore, getting to tiring for me. I'm out of the clear for being a new doc, so I can take some slack. You know, you should sometime. Maybe we could together? Go out sometime?" Making me jump, the elevator door ding'd open.

"Um.. "I quickly turned from him to look at the occupants of the elevator. The back of a pale blonde haired man was facing me, in a nice expensive suit from what I could tell. The administrator, or the boss of this wing was there as well, her name was Janice and she was a bitter old hag. They tend to exist, their conversation finally floating to my ears as soon as I saw the head turning towards me.

I was greeted by a familiar set of molten gold eyes, movie star looks and icy skin. My breathing caught in my chest. Docter Cole, Jonathan, coughed. "I'll talk to you later Swan."

He came walking out, just as flawless of a strut as before, Janice beside him. I could see the shock that was clear, he had always had an expressive face. "Carlisle, this is Bella Swan, the head ER Nurse for this ward. She is relatively new as well. Ms. Swan, this is Docter Cullen."

His hand gracefully reached out towards me. "Bella and I have been acquainted before."

"Hello Carlisle." I said voice breaking only once. Why he would tell her that? I took his hand, smiling a little to large at him, attempting to mask my feelings. The cool grasp was something so familiar, yet so far away. I had tried to block everything out.

"Oh? How?" The gossip whore asked. I briefly thought of answering by, 'Well, I dated his vampire son, that really isn't his son, but we broke up after his other son tried to bite my face off. But it wasn't all that, it was because I just wasn't good enough for vampires.' But instead, Carlisle answered for me.

"We went to school together, I met her on campus."

"Oh! Isn't that nice!" She batted her overly mascara'd lashes that were lined with a gaudy blue, her hand touching his shoulder lightly.

Nothing had changed, everything was the same. Oh no.. Where they all here? Of course they all would be here! I came here for a reason, the big bright sun hanging in the sky. Why were they here?! While I had my inner turmoil, they were turning to leave, showing him around the ward. "Bella? Please, call me. We should catch up." He placed a card in my hand, closing my fingers around it, before he jogged lightly back to the shocked woman.

I shook myself, refocusing on my work. If I thought about that, kept busy, then I wouldn't have to think about my reality.


	2. Chapter 2

**Authors Note: Should I write in Carlisle's POV? If I would, it would be 2 chapters of Bella, and 1 chapter of Carlisle. I'm more than likely going to do this, the reason this chapter is short is that. Next chapter _will_ be posted tomorrow. **

**Thank you for all of your reviews! Keep them up! At least 3 to get me to update :) **

**Just a note: Bella is twenty three, Carlisle's age he was changed is twenty four. The hospital thinks he is twenty eight, Bella's father thinks he is in his mid thirties. **

**Journal Entry:**

**There's so much hate for the ones we love. **

**Tell me, we both matter, don't we?**

**January 2013**_I had survived for this long without them. Why were they back now? I hated Edward. I wanted nothing to do with him, the love that was once there for him was completely gone. It was replaced by the anger of him ripping me apart. Leaving me alone, at the risk of her, of the law. Of the emotional hell I went through from having my family ripped away from me. If he was back.. I didn't want to go back to that girl, but I fear I would relapse into something. Whether it is my love for him, even though how much it disgusts me now, I just don't trust myself. Or it rip the pain open in my chest again.._

I put the pen down. I hadn't _needed_ to write in my book anymore, but it became a habit. I fell back onto my bed. That was the question, where they back or were they not back? But if they weren't back, then why the hell was Carlisle? What would happen that could break him away from his family? He loved Esme dearly, there love was timeless and at times made my heart ache. I had always been fond of Carlisle, his affinity for books and helping people.

_Flashback:_

"Carlisle?" I knocked softly on the door of his study. Edward was out hunting, I didn't know who else was here. I couldn't sleep, I desperately needed a book to read that I hadn't read a million times over.

The door swung open and I let out a little scream. Carlisle chuckled softly. "Bella, I told you, you can come in here any time. You don't need to knock."

I smiled sheepishly at him. Walking in, instantly going over to the stacks. His office was rather large, like a small library. The only thing that wasn't books was his desk and the few pieces of fine art. As I ran my fingers over the spines of the books reading the labels, I looked back at Carlisle. He looked stressful as he went through paperwork at his desk.

"Are you doing okay Carlisle? You look tired." I ran my hand through my long brown hair, tucking it behind my ear.

He smiled at me, staring intently at me for a few moments. "Yes, yes. I'll be fine as always sweetheart. Just a little stressed."

I turned back to the books as I spoke to him. "Work?"

"Partly." He didn't want to share so I didn't pry. I took the copy of _Bram Stoker's Dracula _with a giggle.

"Really? You have this?"

"Gotta read up on what the kiddies think of us."

"You know, there's a lot more current stuff. Now they think your pretty." Heat rose in my cheeks as I basically just called Carlisle pretty. Not that he wasn't, because he was simply gorgeous. I had always thought that since he walked through the doors of the hospital room.

He merely smiled at me though, amusement in his eyes.

_End of flashback._

That was one of the second to last time I had seen Carlisle. It was the very last night I spent over at the Cullen mansion, the weekend before school started up. Now over five years later he was just as he was when I was a foolish seventeen year old girl.

I held my cell phone in one hand, the card he had given me in the other. _Oh just screw it. _

I began dialing the numbers with trembling fingers. I clicked the green button with the little phone and brought the device to my ear. Maybe he wouldn't even pick up. Should I leave a voicemail? What if he picks up? What do I say? What do I do?

"Carlisle Cullen speaking." He answered on the fourth ring.

I just took a moment to steady myself, simply breathing.

"Isabella?" He sounded so hopeful, his voice dripping with it.

"Yes." I breath the word. "Carlisle.. I don't know where to start with anything.."

"Neither do I.. " He let the stress leak through then. I instantly knew we couldn't have this conversation over the phone, but I needed one thing answered.

"Who's all with you?" I asked.

"It's just me Bella. " Oh.. _What happened?_

"Carlisle do you want to come over?" My lips moved without my brain telling them too.

"Don't you need sleep? Not that I wouldn't love too, because I really do. But you've been working all night."

"I have sleep issues anyway. I'll be fine, besides, it's the weekend. I don't work weekends."

"Then what is your address?" I quickly told him the address knowing he would remember.

"It's two blocks from the little mini mart, there's a side road. I'm the last one at the end of the drive. You know, middle of the desert." I frowned as I thought of how to get a sparkling vampire inside of my house without the neighbors seeing.

"Okay, I don't live that far away from you actually. The sun may be a small issue though.. "

"Oh I'll just got to your house. Should of said that first, but now you know where I live. Don't be a creeper."

"Creeper?"

"It's a term the kiddies use for pervy old man leering into your windows." His laughter was like music to my ears, yet it wasn't musical. It was full of heart, much like Carlisle himself.

Carlisle gave me simple directions to follow which I scrawled down. I knew the area pretty well, so the drive there wasn't a bad one.

But it was a stressful one. What happened to the moments when I didn't know what to say or ask? Now my brain was filled with thousands of questions from, 'Why did you leave me without a goodbye?' to 'What's your favorite surgery?'.

I went down a long road that lead to the middle of no where, the pavement was cracked and sun burnt. My windows were down, my hair was whipping around my face. I had taken a shower once I got home, I now wore dark jeans and a dark green tank top. The air was comfortable, the wind was freeing, yet it did little to calm my nerves. At the very end of the road, sparse trees and a red bricked two story home with Carlisle's Mercedes parked in front stood.

I took in a deep breath as I sat in the driveway. I looked up from the steering wheel to see Carlisle leaning on the beam of the porch, silently watching me.

I smiled, just a little to let him know I was okay. I got out of the truck to confront one of the reasons that plagued my sleep, turned my teen life into complete havoc. My therapist would say this was a break through.


	3. Chapter 3

**Authors note: I know I'm evil.. But I feel like being eviler today, you **_**still**_** MIGHT not see the conversation. **

**NOTE: Carlisle POV (you may not see their convo, but you may get some hints on why he's here!)**

**Timeline notes: Bella's eighteenth was in 2009. **

I stared out of the window of my office in the New Hampshire house blindly. The paper work was on the desk. I still hadn't signed it. I knew I would, I just had to process what this was ending. I had been with Esmé for nearly a century. A fourth of my entire life. It wasn't a shock though. We had both seen it coming, long ago. After all when a married couple does nothing more than hold hands for a decade there has to be something wrong.

_FLASHBACK:_

_Edward had just driven Bella home, and returned to the house._

We were all gathered in the living room when Edward stiff armed the door open. Jasper was in the corner sitting on the floor while Alice curled next him trying to calm him down. I felt sorry for him and his empathic powers at that moment. Jasper couldn't stop himself, all the emotions of blood lust in the air was just too much for Jasper's barely mastered control.

Esme's arms were crossed and she stood directly across the room from me, by Rosalie. Emmett was by my side.

"We're leaving. "

"What?" I said in disbelief. I was preparing to ask if it was time to _change_ Bella not be gone of her.

"We're taking Bella right? To turn her?" Emmett asked, yet I knew what Edward was saying. It was all in the disconnected look on his face, his rigid form. We were leaving Bella.

"No." Rosalie, Esmé and Edward all said at once.

"We are not leaving her! We can't do that to Bells!" Emmett was furious, shifting off of the wall and towards Edward.

I stared at Edward. _We are not leaving her. You love her. She loves you, deeply. It would kill her. Not to mention the Volturi, or maybe even Victoria._

"What would kill her is being with me! We _are_ leaving." Edward shoved Emmett out-of-the-way to get into my face. I remained calm, casually leaning against the wall. Emmett was about to kill Edward when I merely shook my head.

_Do not challenge me Edward. _

"You can leave, but all of us have our free will." I narrowed my eyes slightly.

"I'm staying." Emmett said near silently. He knew what he was saying, he was leaving his wife, she would never stay here.

"Emmett think that over fully. Because I _am_ leaving, and if you loved either of us you would as well." He looked as if you just blew up all the video game devices in the entire world, plus the internet.

"I'm not going anywhere Edward. We can't leave her alone, you-"

"We have to leave." Alice said simply, but her voice was drowned out by Esme's.

"Carlisle? How could you stay? How could you destroy her life? Are you going to rip away hers too?" Her voice was louder than I had ever heard it before. It left me slack jawed with weak knees.

"Esmé.."

"Don't. She deserves a chance."

_I don't want to do this, but I have too._ I looked Edward in the eye again. I knew what I was doing was going to be the end of Esmé and I, eventually at least. But I couldn't stop the words leaving my mouth.

"Fine, she has her chance. And you have yours. Leave. Travel, think, spend time with out her. You'll see you can't. " _You will not enter my home for what you've done. You could get killed for this, are you forgetting the laws? _

Edward swallowed, and nodded stiffly. Esmé gasped at my words. "I will not have another son taken-"

"No. Esmé I need it." Then she pulled him into her arms and effectively away from me.

_End of flash back_

I hadn't thought Esme resented me, but that fateful day of Bella's eighteenth birthday our fragile world came tumbling down. It was nearly a year now since that day. I can't say that Bella was the cause of our demise, but it was the catalyst that set things in motion.

"Carlisle?" Alice's normally happy voice was sullen, and nervous.

"Yes?"

"We're leaving. It's time for us to spend time as couples... It's time for you to collect yourself. Sign the paper's Carlisle, it will make you feel better than you think. "

"Where will you be going?"

"Jasper and I will be visiting his brother and his wife. Rosalie will try to cheer Emmett up. Esmé... "

"I don't need to know about her. But what of Edward? Have you seen anything of him yet? He is alive yes?" I angry at my son, but I didn't want him dead, I wasn't saying I wanted him near me at the moment either.

"Yes he's alive, he still wants to be left alone. For her to be left alone. " Her last words were harsher than the rest." I nodded to her, walking past her I quickly signed on the proper places.

"Make sure that's filed for me Alice. I'm going to pack." I didn't make eye contact with her. I didn't want to tell her goodbye, I didn't want this to feel anymore like my entire family was shattered to a million pieces.

"Don't do what your thinking, but I won't utter a word either way."

That's all I needed to know.

**PRESENT TIME:**

I wasn't planning on finding her here, I had vowed to keep away from her since my slip up years ago. I hadn't even searched for her on the internet. My pure shock was genuine when I saw the beautiful woman who was Isabella Swan in dark blue scrubs standing by a doctor outside of the evaluator I was departing.

I didn't listen to a single word the woman telling me about the hospital said, but my perfect recall let me reply smartly. I couldn't stop thinking of the chances of meeting Bella, of her changes, of her job, of what she thought of me. Of the way her small hand felt in mine when I gave her my card.

Now after our jumbled phone call I waited on the porch for her to drive up. I paced back and forth. I was nervous, nervous for the first time in.. _Centuries. _ I heard the rumble of a truck approaching, old habits die-hard I guess. She did love that beast of a truck, but this sounded different. A little better running and newer engine.

All to soon to get a hold of my wild nerves, Bella's ford pulled into the drive. She just stared at her steering wheel after she took in the appearance of the home. I knew she hadn't seen me yet. When she looked up her face was sad, yet she smiled a tiny small. I didn't think it could of been classified as a smile really, but I returned it nevertheless.

She opened the door, and stepped out, like her truck habit, Bella stumbled. I couldn't stop myself from catching her, making sure she didn't fall.

"Wooh." Her brown eyes stared up at me as I held her upper arms steady. "I forgot how fast you were."

"Sorry." I swallowed removing my hands a taking a step back, looking down slightly. "Would you like to come in?"

When I looked up at her she was staring at me intently. The sun was shining brightly and I was out of the shade of the porch, and the rare trees surrounding my home. Her heart rate sped up, and she ran a hand through her hair. "Yes."

She looked lovely. Her pale skin had a warm glow to it, still pale yet tan at the same time. Like peaches and cream. Alot of it was shown with the emerald tank top she wore, the red of her hair stood out against it.

She let out a small gasp as she took in the insides of my home. Maybe she was expecting the pale on pale scheme that Esmé had liked so much, but that was never me. I liked the warmth, dark woods and my antiques I had collected over the years. I was a bit of a pack rat, I will admit.

I ushered her to the dark brown leather sofa in the living room. She sat down at one end, myself on the other. We stared at each other for a few countless moments. I let her ajust, and hell even I needed to get a grip on the fact that she was actually here. I decided I should just begin to confess.

"Well.. "


	4. Chapter 4

**Authors Note: i feel like i should feel shame, but all i feel is amusement(atleast I admit i'm evile). heheh i cant promise that I won't leave you ever not leave you with cliff hangers again, because i like them, along with run on sentances and not capitalizing in this authors note. **

**NOTE: Mind the headings to see how's POV it's in. Two Bella, one Carlisle, and so on and so forth. **

_**Bella-**_

His house was amazing. I hadn't expected to see this, this wasn't the old mansion I had grown used to in Forks. This was warmth, and classic taste. Better yet it felt more _lived_ in. Paintings that clearly reflected Carlisle's taste lined the walls artfully. Little knickknacks and pieces of sculpture lined the end tables. Shelves upon shelves of books anywhere there was room to press them against the wall. Carlisle had made this is home, it wasn't anyone elses.

The colors where much like his study, a goldish beige peeking out from behind paintings. Dark cherry wood trim, matching the furniture. I sank into the couch he ushered me too. It actually soft, something much different that the awkward white couch.

_So much change_.

I took in Carlisle's appearance as well. It was different, not so stiff yet still formal. I guess somethings you just can't shake. His pale skin stood out against the deep blue of his button up shirt, a few buttons were down exposing the most of his chest I had _ever_ seen. No tie. Holly shit. His always perfect hair was a little messy, it seemed almost longer, but that must not be right. It was around his face, slightly waved, but could easily be pushed back and formal. Yet it wasn't, not now. I couldn't help but think how good it made him look.

"Well.. " I jumped slightly as his word cut the awkward air. "I feel I need to tell you a lot Bella, so please just let me get it all out."

I nodded, I was unable to speak, even if I wanted to voice the questions running rampant in my inner monologue.

"I didn't want to leave. When Edward come back from dropping you off everything fell apart. He demanded that we would all leave Forks. I refused and so did Emmett, there was just some many reason's that we couldn't leave you. Victoria, the Volturi.. That we _loved _ you. But he wouldn't listen. Rosalie basically gave Emmett and ultimatum, and he loves her deeply. It tore him apart, he wasn't the same. Not at all. " He looked away to the wall. "Esmé lashed out at me, she wanted us to give you a chance a human life. I never thought Esmé didn't want this life, I knew she wanted children, but I thought she was at least a little happy. Now it wasn't because of you, so stop looking like that. Esmé and I had started growing apart starting some twenty five or so years back. It was unstoppable. That night I told Edward I didn't want him back in my home again. That if we left you, he had to find his own way. I thought he would come back to you on his own, realize what he was doing. Again I was wrong. "

"Is he.. " I could form words, nor did I really know what I was saying.

"Edward is somewhere, I don't really know where though. I'm assuming only Alice knows that, and if anyone else does he's made it clear he doesn't wish to speak to me. Ten months later, ten months of pure hell, Esmé divorced me, and everyone went there own ways. We call, and I've even gotten visit's from Alice and Jasper. Jasper is doing better, he's still a tad depressed of what he's done though. He blames himself to much, but Alice is Alice and has turned him around. When I left.. " He looked at me straight forward, he swallowed nervously and looked as if, if he was human that is, his heart would be beating out of his chest. I couldn't help the reflex, I gently reach out and took his hand. He took it with both of his, rubbing circles with his thumb.

"When we broke apart, I left the house we were at as well. I went to Washington Bella. I had to make sure you were okay. I saw you, and you were happy. You were with you father, another man and a boy. You were smiling brighter than I had seen you when you were with Edward. You were holding on to his arm as your father bickered with the man in th back yard about the arrangement of coals. I knew he was a werewolf, he didn't notice me though. I was glad you found someone to tell the whole truth too. " My tears were silent as they poured down my face.

I hadn't thought any of them cared. That I was nothing to them. "Why didn't you speak with me? Why didn't say goodbye? Why-"

"Edward told us after he came back, that you didn't want to speak to us. That you wished us well and that it would be easier for you. Clean break." I cringed at the words, shaking my head.

"I never said that." One of his hands rose to cup my cheek wiping some of the hot tears away. He was cool, but not freezing. Warmed from holding my hands.

"Will you tell me your story once I'm done sweetheart?" I bit my lip and nodded. All I could think was, _there's more?_

"After I left you house, I caught scent of something familiar mixed with the smell of werewolf. I'm assuming you were aware Victoria was there?" I nodded once.

"I found her camp in Seattle. She had been making vampires, she was planning to kill you, and the pack. I stayed far enough away that she didn't notice me. I called in the Volturi to report it. They were in the area, so I told them I'd bring the newborns and Victoria to them. "

"Wh-How did you- How?" Carlisle committing violence was.. Just.. Wrong.

He looked down smiling slightly. "Isabella, I've been around for many years, I know how to handle myself. I just like to avoid it. But the people she turned were of the worst kind, there was no redemption for them. It wasn't hard to bait, all I had to do was taunt her about James. I came running, it took a while but they were there where I told them to be. I turned, and took out Victoria as soon as I was close. I had to make sure that she wouldn't harm you and your new life. If you were going to have a restart, then I was going to make sure you got a good chance at it. I couldn't let anything come between that.. Not after all I've done."

"All you've done? You've given second chances. It's not your fault they are ungrateful and not making the best out of the hand they were dealt. If it's the playing God notion, then who's saying it isn't God's will for every single human action? Who's saying there even _is _a God. Yes Carlisle, you've done so much. Like the horrible thing about discovering there's a different way of living for those who accept it. Saving countless lives every day. Saving mine, protecting mine, when no one else did. You've done nothing to them, it's their issues. Their faults for not overcoming it, or getting help." Anger would of burned the tears out of a normal person, but I just cried more.

He leaned back, just staring at me. "You're too good Isabella."

I wiped at my eyes roughly. Well I had looked good, now I more than likely looked like a slobbering mess. And I still hadn't told my side of this mess.

"My turn eh?"

"You don't have to if you don't want too."

"No, you deserve to know everything." I shivered out of my control, but I wasn't cold. It was a nervous tick I always had, along with a thudding heart rate.

"When Edward came to tell me goodbye, I never said those words. In fact anything I said really didn't matter to him, if I could even get a word in. Like I couldn't decide what was good for me, he took all my choices away. He told me I wasn't good for him, that _his_ kind got distracted easily, and now basically he was bored. He told me he didn't want me, that he didn't love me, and he didn't know if he ever did. It's like he new all the weaknesses I had, all of the doubts about us, he brought truth to them. And I believed them, I belive some still now. Like that he never loved me, and that he didn't want me. Thinking back on it, I know I should of never loved him. Not because of his species, but because he just wasn't right for me. I still love him, but I hate him just as much, if not more. "

"He loved you, I could see it Bella, don't doubt that. Your first love shouldn't be a lie, and I know it wasn't. I do believe that he wasn't the one for you though. Your to pure and giving, while he's greedy and selfish. He likes his misery and loneliness, it gets him attention. I've always known that. Oh Bella, I'm so so sorry." He pulled me into his arms, I didn't know I was shaking, that I had started to clutch my chest. But when his arms wrapped around me, and I was tight into his chest, I noticed the relief. The pain, the weight of it is taken away instantly. So I contuined.

"Jacob put me together again, even though I had holes. I wanted to love Jacob, I wanted to move on, and I wanted to be what he needed. I did love him, but I don't think I was in-love with him. He got my mind off of everything. Did things I never had ever even thought of doing. I had _fun_, true fun with him. I felt like a child, when I never had before. Ever. I gave _everything_ I had left to him. Then when I left for college, and he had to stay behind. We just sort of.. Fell apart. I came down as much as I could, and he came up as much as he could. I thought we would make it, that our love would be enough. I even started to see lightly tanned skin children, brown eyes and black hair. When I came down to finally say that I truly was in love with him, it was a surprise, he didn't know. I walked into his room to find him with Lauren Mallory."

He arms gripped me tighter, as my hands gripped his shirt. "I fell apart like I never had before. I was a zombie when Edward left, but I still had life. I had no reason now. I have always been a romantic, I thought love was the reason. From my novels to my mothers crazy-ness. I felt that I just couldn't love anymore, that I wasn't worthy of love. So.. "

"Bella.. "

"I slit my wrists.. I took sleeping pills too.. My roommate found me though, cleary I'm still here.. " I curled my legs up to my chest as he fully moved me so he was holding me like you would a child. This may of felt like the right thing to do for him, he saw me as a daughter, yet I saw him as a friend. Still after everything. "I.. I've never been more ashamed. I put my father through so much. I had to change, I had to put it all behind me. So I went to therapy, and through myself into work, and school. I got my shit together, then I moved. Fully leaving Forks behind. I like it here.. "

I wanted to change the subject now, I couldn't take all of this. It was so much, and now all I wanted was senseless television and food. "So do I, it's a little hard to go out in daylight, but it's pretty sucluded here. It's nice to just be able to go under the radar."

"Thank you."

"For?"

"Not commenting."

"Why would I? You went through so much, and I don't think I would of stopped from trying again.. I never would of been able to be standing here like you are."

"But then again I'm being held." He chuckled loudly and tilted his head back. I looked up to see the smile stretched across his. He released me, and I saw beside him, legs touching. I wiped my face, to see the mess I'd made of his shirt. "I'm sorry."

He rolled his eyes. The sun is beginning to set, it was already late afternoon. My stomach grumbled at me. "I should get home." I didn't want to leave though.

I didn't want him to disappear. "Stay." My head snapped back to him. "Stay, I'll order you what ever take out you want, you can have the bed, and we'll do something silly until your tired enough. Whatever you want, just don't leave yet. I can't.. I can't let you go just yet."

"Okay. But you won't be letting me go for long. I was assuming we could do something tomorrow."

"You.. You don't want me to leave?"

"NO! Why would I want that? Unless you want that. " I quickly tacked on the last bit.

"You've got you life sorted out, I don't want to ruin it. Of course I want to be here. "

"It's barely sorted out Carlisle. I don't do anything, it might be nice to have an actual friend." He smiled a bright, tight, little boy smile. He really was young. Sometimes it was hard to see that Carlisle was really only twenty-four when he was turned. He was simply breath-takeingly gorgeous.

"Then what do you want for dinner?"

"Chinese." I grinned.

The night went much more light hearted than the day did. Nothing serious, just two old friends trying to get to know each other again. There simply was nothing more amusing than watching Carlisle watch an R rated Comedy that was throwing out sexual innuendos every five minutes or so. I could see Carlisle with bright crimson cheeks, tanned skin and a pulse in these moments more than I ever did before.

The pain in my chest that had eased in Jacob's presence only to be forcefully thrown back at me, had ceased completely.

For the first time in _years_ I felt whole. I felt happy, and I felt hopeful. I felt like I _wanted_, instead of feeling like I _should_.

**AFTOR NOTE: WOW! NO CLIFFY! :O**


	5. Chapter 5

**AUTHORS NOTE: I love your reviews. Sorry for the wait! **

**I know this chapter is mainly filler, but I think it's important for them to get to know each other again. In a different light. It's the beginning of good things my friends! trust me and hang in there through my cliffys and sometimes wrong word use. (since /sense) ;)**

**Guess what!? I'm making a trailer for this! It's taking some time though! **

**A friend in need's a friend indeed**

**A friend who bleeds is better**

**My friend confessed, she passed the test**

**And we will **_**never**_** sever**

**PLACEBO - PURE MORNING **

**Bella-**

I wiggled around in the huge bed I had some how ended up in. I fell asleep sometime during the night of movies on the couch. I blushed simply thinking of Carlisle tucking me in bed. I was thankful though. It was just _so_ soft. The sheets faintly smelled of Carlisle. Of honey, and earth.

I wish I could write in my journal, to tell it how good I'm doing. How happy I am. I haven't been happy in a long ass time. I think I deserved it.

But was it right that only a vampire made me feel alive?

No. It wasn't. I knew that. Yet I couldn't find it in me to care, because I smelled bacon. What girl doesn't love bacon? What human doesn't love bacon? So I will contuine my crazy ways of moving on, of feeling better. Even though it's unhealthy, and my therapist would frown whilst shaking her head. I frowned as I realised I had an appointment today. I only had them once every three weeks now.

I didn't like her, she was judgy. But that what you get when you move.

I peeled myself from the blankets, bare feet touching the cool hardwood floor. The room was, who would have guessed, surrounded in books. It was a battle to find the door, but when I did I was faced with the fact that I didn't know how to get down stairs. After going right and finding a dead-end, I went left to find the stairway was a spiral.

I held on to the cool iron as I carefully walked down. Yes! This was the living room, the kitchen was just past the edge of the couch. I merely knew this because I wanted to put my leftovers in the fridge last night. And the low murmur of music playing from beyond the swinging door. I skipped happily to the kitchen in my wrinkled jeans and t-shirt. I would need to go home today, to change at least.

Carlisle was cooking, like he was at home there. His back was facing me, shoulders loose, hands at work. He was even humming to the music.

"Good morning Bella. "

"Mornin. How did you have food?"

"I still have to keep up appearances you know."

"Ah. How can you cook?"

"It's rather boring when your asleep. I googled."

"At least you didn't watch me." Carlisle chuckled as he made my plate and sat it on the island in the middle of the kitchen. I sat in one of the two black tall chairs and took a bite of the perfectly cooked eggs. He even remembered how I liked them cooked.

"I would comment on how it was awesome that you remembered, but you remember everything."

"I would comment on how your hair looks right now, but you forget things."

"I don't even care." I said over a mouth full of bacon. "So good." I'm sure it didn't come out like that though, but it still made him laugh. His laugh was infectious and it was becoming very hard to not choke.

"Here, " He gave me a glass of orange juice. "I'm going to go change, do you want to go to your house today? I'd like to see where you live."

I nodded at him, which he returned before flashing away. I cleared my plate for the first time in ages. I know I should eat more, especially since I worked so much. I just didn't anymore. I stood up and began washes my dish, I don't know how but Carlisle had already done the others.

Just as I put the plate away the door swung open to reveal a wet haired, freshly dressed Carlisle. I smiled. "Ready to head to my house? We can take your car, I need to shower and have fresh clothes. Next time I'll come more prepared perhaps."

My eyes shamelessly took in his appearance. It seemed he liked to show more skin nowadays. I could help but appreciate the way his muscles flexed in his strong shoulders when he moved.

"You'll want to have a next time?" His voice was full of hope. I smiled at him. He was so kind, so caring. I wasn't blind though, Carlisle had been lonely. Someone as beautiful inside as much as out should never be alone.

"Yeah, it would be nice. I had a good night." He smiled brightly.

The car ride home was a nice one. We chatted about certain places that we drove by, while the radio hummed in the back ground. We made plans to go to a certain restaurant that my coworkers often asked me to go too. I'd call Zoey to let her know. I wanted Carlisle to become as normal as possible here. I didn't want him to have to leave.

We also discussed music, I was pleasantly surprised to find that his tastes were much like mine. Carlisle liked classical, but he was rather found of the sixties, and how rock music began all the way up to the nineties. He thought music now didn't have any heart in it like it did before. He sang to _Nirvana_, and _Bruce Springsteen_. I dared him to listen to current rock music treasures I've found that are past the nineties. He took that dare as long as I promised to make him a CD of my favorites, and to listen to a music he loved.

When we pulled up into the drive I didn't really want it to end. But then again I was pretty nasty right now, I desperately needed to shower. The shading my house providing along with the neighbors let Carlisle safely enter my small home.

"Its.. Just so you." He said as he looked around my living room.

"I try. I know it's small but I don't need much or have much."

"Theres nothing wrong with small. I just need a place away from people. "

"I know. And you have a lot of stuff."

"Theres nothing wrong with having a few-" I cut him off with my giggles.

"Ease it up Doc. I'm going to shower, make yourself at home."

I showered quickly and dressed simply. Purple form-fitting v-neck shirt, that was one of the nicer things I owned, and black jeans. I pulled my hair back into a ponytail, my long bangs gave it a bit of a bump. As I had grown older, my hair had gotten redder. Much like my mothers had.

I looked at my self in the mirror after I applied mascara and eye liner. My curves were shown off in this top. I worried slightly that it was too much, but then remembered Carlisle. It's funny how he would convince me to dress like this. His tight black button up, that was short-sleeved and his jet black designer jeans. I swallowed.

Much more than I liked to admit, Carlisle was just _sexy. _ I had never thought that before, but it was a _fact. _I wanted to look like I belonged next to him. I didn't know why this thought was in my head, but I listened to it anyway.

I walked out of the bathroom the kitten heels of my silver flats clicking on the floor as I texted Zoey.

_Thinking of headin 2 The Brick tonite. Will u b there?_

"Hey." Carlisle said as I stood in the door way staring at my phone.

"Hey. So! What do you want to do till the sun goes down?" I looked up at him then. He had one of my _Cosmo _magazines open with a highly amused look on his face, while sitting on my small couch. He also had his feet on _my_ coffee table. "Put that down!" I nearly ran over to him, plucking it from his fingers.

"But I wanted to learn the way to find my g-" I hit him on the head with the magazine like you would a puppy that had pee'd on the carpet.

"Just.. No." I shook my head back and forth. "Your not supposed to be... "

"You made me watch all those movies. I've come to believe that a man of my age should be at least some what perverted." He looked like he was on the verge of hysterics. I had no idea why. I was to lost. "By the way, I already know where that is." My entire chest and face turned scarlet.

Carlisle was a father, a doctor and a leader. Now I thought he was sexy, funny and my friend. My image of Carlisle had shattered. But I liked this version a lot. It was just a little hard to get a grip on and I didn't know exactly how to act.

"S-So you wanna be young?" He looked away still smiling, but not _so_ amused.

"I never have acted my age." That was... Sad. If Carlisle wanted to be young again.. Then I guess I would help him, but how?

"I never have either. " I sat beside him. We smiled at each other for a moment, before my phone vibrated and I screamed. I nearly threw the phone and I had to fight to catch it from falling to the floor.

It was ringing, Zoey was calling. Oh dear. "Hello?"

"YOUR GOING OUT?! OHMAHGAWD! Of course I'll be there! Wanna get ready together later? When do you wanna meet? Where to do you wanna meet?"

"How about seven-thirty and we just meet there. Um.. I'm not exactly going alone."

"Whaaat? Who?"

"The new doctor." I grinned and looked at Carlisle. He cocked an eyebrow and removed his feet from the table straightening up.

"HOLLY SHIT! After that damn speech you gave me over no-"

"He's an old friend!" I frowned as I thought of a quick lie."I went to highschool with his brother, and went to college with Carlisle himself for a year. We go way back, sort of haven't talked to each other in a long time though. "

"Carlisle? Hmm. How long? His brother?" I glanced at Carlisle as he held up four fingers.

"Four years. Yes, his brother." I wasn't giving her anymore than that.

"How old is he?" Carlisle flashed up more fingers to tell me what the hospital believed.

"He's twenty-eight. Look just try not to be a little weirdo and to that thing you do."

"What thing I do?!"

"That little tick you have when you don't say anything for a full five minutes but then turn into that guy that calls out the numbers at an auction."

"I do not!"

"You do too. Anyway, I gotta go. I have plans with him before. So I'll see you late Zoe."

"Bye B!" I clicked off the phone and sighed.

"Are you sure your ready for this?" I asked him.

"Always. She seems like a nice girl. I'm glad you made friends."

"So am I. I didn't really have any in Washington.. "

"So, what do you want to do for six hours?"

"Surprise me."

Carlisle's grin was evil as someone so angelic could ever be. I couldn't help but be excited.

I would just ditch that woman that took all of my money today. I didn't need her at the moment anyway.

**Note: Carlisle time next chapter! **


	6. Chapter 6

**Authors Note: I just like to take a moment to say LMFAO to one certain reviewer. You know who you are.**

**Now I'm trying to break free**

**Being in a state of empathy**

**Find a true and inner me**

**Eradicate the schizo**

**No one can take it away from m****e**

**And no one can tear it apart**

**'Cause a heart that hurts is a heart that works**

**A heart that hurts is a heart that works**

PLACEBO - BRIGHT LIGHTS 

**Carlisle POV:**

I laughed as I heard her feet shuffle about trying to find which way to get down stairs. She still was Bella, but yet so very different. From the shade of her hair, to the curves she had produced. The curves I shouldn't notice but find myself admiring. Even with her hair knotted and all over the place she was beautiful. In fact, her hair in the that way brought several inappropriate thoughts to rise. The main reason I decided to move from that kitchen as fast as possible.

Her home was, that, hers. It screamed her from every inch, simple, classy, with an edge. I sat on her small sofa, looking at the magazines on the coffee table in front of me. The lay out of any order, seemingly thrown down after she sifted through their pages. A bottle of black nail polish along with a water bottle sat beside them.

The water of her shower was flowing steadily. She was humming softly to her self. I took a moment to think about now that Bella was back in my life, how did I want her to perceive me?

Last night I had went over and over, dealing with the words she told me, the anger, the sadness. I wish I could of saved her from all of her pain. But that was then, and this is now. Bella was standing tall as she could and trying. That is really anyone could do.

I had spent the last years trying to come to grips that I was a single man again. I was afraid the cracks in my smile were beginning to show. I wasn't happy, and I didn't have a place anywhere anymore. I don't know how I got on my own in the years before my family. I know I did, I was even happy. I had friends, I had a purpose. But everything was getting so mundane.

I didn't have anyone. I just couldn't act my "age", I couldn't date, human or vampire. The majority of vampires fed off of humans, not someone I would really like to be with. Humans, unlike that of my cousins in Denali, I just couldn't use. It was to risky to actually date a human anyway.

Why was I thinking about dating when I was trying to think of how I wanted Bella to see me? I shook my head slightly. I most certainly didn't want her to see me as her father. That I knew for sure. Bella never was a daughter to me, although I cared for her very much. I thought of her as more of a friend. A kindred spirit, an old soul trapped in a youthful body that I could easily talk to.

I wanted to be young, for once. I wanted Bella to see me as someone of her age group. Maybe, just maybe, I could get a chance at a little bit of normal. I wanted.. I wanted to have a friend again. I was lonely, I was man enough to admit that. I just haven't had any energy to visit anyone, to do anything. Bella sparked something long gone inside of me. With her silly made up words, and insane sense of human. Her doe eyes that were filled with wisdom, and her pouty red lips.

Full lips, always a nice shade of red. Naturally, that was rare. So pretty against her skin color, the color of peaches. I wonder if they felt as soft as they looked... Yes, I wanted her to see me as a man of her age range.

She was out now, and doing something in the bathroom. With a new-found sense of mischievousness, I picked up her most amusing issue of _Cosmo_.

Women really needed help finding that? Amazing.

All I earned was total shock and smack with the magazine. I was a little worried of how shocked she was. I would change that though. I had a goal now. I was tired of being proper good doctor.

Her friend sounded kind, and silly. I was truly glad Bella had human friends now. I know she didn't have many in Forks. All I wanted her to be was happy. I kind of failed at that though. Maybe.. Maybe if I kept seeing her, kept checking in on her- No. No. That would have been even more invasion of her privacy, and I can't go back now.

"Have any ideas on what we could do for six hours?" I grinned at her. Oh what we could do for six hours.. I mentally slapped myself. But it was partly her fault, her shirt was just a little to much for me to handle. That was sad, I should have more control over myself. She just seemed to crack something inside of me though.

"Hmm.. " I tapped my finger on my chin. Trying to think of all the places I'd seen around town, places preferably with shade, and that wasn't to trying to her. She would be up late tonight, assuming she wanted to party with her friends. A thrill shot through me, along with nervousness. I had never, not a single time, "partied".

"How about we go to the mall? They have a good bookstore there, also some shops you might like, not fancy. Theres a cinema as well. Also very indoors. Underground parking a plus."

"That actually sounds great. " She smiled at me. "For a second there I was scared you had something evil planned."

"Evil?"

"Like hiking or some shit." I laughed shaking my head at her as she clasped a hand over her mouth.

"Bella you can curse. It's perfectly fucking fine." The look on her face was _priceless. _

Our day went lovely. She versed me in the lingo of the youth, and what exactly is texting while eating at the food court. She picked up a new book about vampires, while straight faced began reciting vampire romance lines from a book from the adult section. She promptly fast walked away acting like she didn't know me. I couldn't help it. She would turn completly red, from her chest to her cheekbones.

Her scent was strong then, and I could enjoy the floral scent. lavender, freesia with a hint of honey suckle. I didn't thirst for her, but I longed for her smell to be closer. I didn't know why, but for once I was just doing what I wanted. For a long time I had done what I should, or what was right for a very long time. It was nice to just... _Feel. _

We saw a horror film about zombies, that for some reason made her laugh. It wasn't a comedy, yet she was in hysterics while others glared. I couldn't help but join, it was very amusing and unrealistic. But the main reason was she was that infectious.

On the way to the bar, we sang to loudly to "Carry on My Wayward Son" By Kansas. After she proclaimed her utter love and devotion to Dean Winchester. I was baffled of course, and she promised we'd have a marathon to catch me up. She owned all the seasons. I couldn't help but be a little jealous of this fictional man.

"Why does he get your love?" I pouted a little.

She giggled loudly. "He has a rather lovely rear, and is just freaking badass."

"Are you saying I don't have a nice behind?" I smirked over at her before looking back to the road.

"Actually you have a very nice ass. You should get an award or something." She clapped her hands at me. Straight faced and bright-eyed.

"Well.. I do feel a little violated, I had no idea you stared at me so much." She cackled wildly.

She wasn't even tipsy yet, but she was just.. So happy. I was beyond glad that I could bring that to her. Her guard was down, and she was a stranger. She wasn't little sweet Bella. She wasn't the girl I saw with dog, or with Edward. I think I liked this version much, much better.

I pulled into the bar she showed me. It was twilight now, the sun just beginning to sleep. I turned off the engine, our laughs dying down.

"Are you sure your okay with this Carlisle?"

"Of course. I'm excited actually. I like this.. Thank you. I had the best day I've had in.. Decades. " The truth was, it was longer than that, but I didn't want to really show how pathetic I was.

"Me too. Besides the decades part. Years though. Years." She smiled and placed her hand on mine. We locked eyes for a moment, I could swear I saw her eyes get a shade darker, but her phone rang.

"Hey Zoe. Yes we're outside. We'll be inside in five mins." I got out of the car, calmly walking to her side, and opening it for her.

"Thank you." She blushed slightly reaching for her purse.

"No problem darling."

"Let's rock." She looped her arm around mine curling into me slightly. I was all to happy with her there. So happy it scared me a little.

As soon as we entered the establishment I was bombarded with the smell of liquor, sweat, arousal, and cigarettes. The sound of an unfamiliar woman singing a slightly sexy song floated from the dancing area.

A bouncy dirty blonde haired girl came fast walking over to Bella as we leaned against the bar. "Prepare yourself." She said quietly to me.

I smiled at Bella, I heard the girl's heart beat sped up. I looked up at her, a little alarmed as to why. "Hello, I'm Carlisle Cullen. You must be Zoey."

Then she did said "thing" Bella told her not to do.

"Zoey!" She sneered out.

"Hi!" She said quickly with a little wave. "Soo.. You knew Bella from before?"

A group of people began to flow near us, and I truly had no idea what the night was going to lead to.


	7. Chapter 7

**Authors Note: OMG another chapter so soon? I know! I'm amazing.**

**Credit for how Carlisle new Bella from before goes to the fabulous Sinvisigoth. Don't chew gum while reading this.**

**With the ocean in our arms,  
Kissing eyes and kissing palms.**

**And when it's time to pray,**  
**We'll be dressed up all in grey,**  
**With metal on our tongues,**  
**And silver in our lungs.**

**Spectrum By Florence and the Machine**

**Bella:**

More coworkers began gather around us. Apparently shocked that I was here just as much as Zoey was. Lauire-Ann was eyeing Carlisle, and throwing out her chest. I was prepared to see her toss back her hair or drop a pencil soon. A few of the male orderlies and nurses were around her, two of which were eyeing me winking. Clearly already under the influence of alcohol. Even some of the older gals were out tonight. I sighed internally.

"Soo.. You knew Bella from before?"

I looked over at Carlisle to see what he would say. He already knew my little lie. When I saw the look on his face I knew he was up to know good. Still I was shocked by his words, especially around all of my, no, our coworkers.

"Yes, we go way back. I was her pimp after all." He was straight-faced, utterly serious, and looking at her like she should already know this.

I could have killed him in that moment. I felt the heat rush to my cheeks instantly, but I held back the stuttering and shock. "Carlisle! You weren't supposed to bring that up!"

He gave me an innocent look. "I just wanted the boys to know not to mess with you."

I rolled my eyes at him like a child. I looked back at Zoey to see her mouth hanging open along with all the looks of "What do you say to that?"

It was all too much, I couldn't stop myself from having a complete giggle fit. Carlisle was silently shaking before bursting into laughter that everyone awkwardly joined.

"Really? You actually thought I was a hooker Z?" I asked a little later after everyone began there chitchat, a few going up to Carlisle. One of the doctors I didn't really recognize from the day shift was questioning him now.

"Hey! Your always so silent about your past, and Julia Roberts in -" I hit her shoulder playful and took another drink of my beer.

She giggled. "It's really great you came tonight B."

"I'm glad I did, too." I looked back to Carlisle, making sure he was okay. He looked so damn good tonight. I didn't lie in the car when I told him he had a nice ass either. He wasn't facing me now and I had the time to shamelessly ogle him. He sure was the Carlisle I knew from before. And that got me thinking inappropriate thoughts about him.

He was my friend. I wouldn't ruin that. "And you said he was just a friend." She cocked an eyebrow at me.

"He is." Even to myself I sounded a little sad.

"Why don't you try for more? He's a really nice guy, you two look good together. When you walked in you looked so.. Right. You know, I don't see you smile alot. You were all cheesy when you came in, never seen that before." I saw Carlisle's back stiffen. He was listening to us, or it may of just been my paranoia.

"So I see Jack's here. Don't you have a crush on him? You look good tonight by the way." I wasn't lying to she looked very nice for being Zoey. Her blouse was hot pink but low cut and showed off her curvy-ness in a flattering way. Her pumps peeking out from under her black pants made her taller that me.

"Nice subject change. But yes. How do my boobs look? I want to act on it tonight! I'm feeling good." She downed her jell-o shot to make her point. She even did a little woot.

"Your boobs are wonderful, sometimes they make me wanna bat for the other team."

"Awww." She looked as if she might cry. I giggled as she hugged me."I'd so be your lesbian wife!"

We broke apart and with a little wink she began to strut her stuff over to Jack. He was a decently good-looking orderly, with longer brown hair and a little boy smile. They would be great together.

"Two jack and cokes." Carlisle's voice said to the bartender from beside me as I watched them.

"Hows it going?" I looked over at him. He was closer than I thought, his chest nearly pressed against my arm. Dark thick lashes framed her dark gold eyes as he looked down at me. A smile played on his full lips.

"Good. How about you?" His eyes scanned my face, focusing on something below my eyes.

"Great. Is there something on my face?" I was worried for a moment.

He grinned. "No. Just admiring is all."

"Here ya go." The bartender interrupted my thoughts on his last words. Or maybe it was my mind trying to ignore it, thinking he didn't mean what he said.

"Can you even drink this?" I said instead. Picking up the glass and taking a sip.

"Yes. It has to be hard liquor to do any effect though. I am made of blood, there for it can enter my blood system. Just like it does you, to give a 'drunk' effect." He took a drink of it to prove his point. "Of course it has to be a lot though."

"Thats amazing. I never thought you could."

"Theres many things you don't know about me." He said it so low, I don't think he intended for me to hear. The music was getting a little louder, the night was getting wilder.

Zoey was dancing with Jack, I laughed a little loudly at her sprinkler dance move. "Oh god. I thought I couldn't dance."

Carlisle chuckled. "You now, I don't think leaning on the bar is actually partying. Maybe we should get out there?"

"No way. I don't dance."

"Why not? You know some say it's fun. Are you un-fun?"

"No! I'm.. fun." He raised an eyebrow in a disbelieving way."Hey! Damn it I am fun."

"Dance with me then." He stood in front of me and held out his hand. His eyes were darker than before, but it could have been the low lighting. He had a sexy smirk on his lips. "Please? For me?" He pouted.

I placed my hand in his. He pulled me to his chest and out into the crowd. His hand wound around my waist, my arms went around his neck without my permission.

The music was slow, but rising. The womans voice alluring. I recognized the song almost instantly, it was one of my favorites. He spun me abruptly as the music got faster. I laughed happily. He pulled me back to his chest, moving with the rhythm. I sang the lyrics softly making him grin wider.

"So say my name, And every colour illuminates, And we are shining, And we'll never be afraid again."

We carried on dancing until my feet began to ache, then a little more. More than a few times I thoughts, a crazy thought. That Carlisle's lips were just about to touch mine, but something always happened to stop it.

I thought about it for a moment as we began to walk out to our car. A person bumping into us, the bartender, a change of song to ruin the moment. His hand was wound in mine. I wasn't drunk, but I was a little tipsy, in a giddy happy way.

I wouldn't let the insanity of my thoughts ruin this night. It had been a perfect day. "This day was perfect." I told him, as he opened the car door for me.

"Yes it was." I stood in the opening of the door, I was about to get in when he pulled me by my waist to his chest again. I had been acquainted with it very well tonight. The feel of his strong muscles pressed against was enough to drive me crazy. I let out a little gasp from the suddenness of it though. "Or atleast it will be now." Carlisle's voice was deeper than normal.

His other hand traced my jawline slowly. My heart rate pounded, I could hear it in my ears, and against my ribcage. But it wasn't in a bad way. I didn't know what Carlisle was to me anymore in that moment. He was always a friend, but now he was about to be something more. At least I hoped this was his intention.

His hand went into my hair, his perfect lips were edging closer to me. I could hear people approaching, but I didn't care. We wouldn't be interrupted again. I closed the distance between us. My hand was on his chest, the other tugging at his hair. The familiar, yet completely different feel of his cool lips against mine was amazing.

His lips were soft some how, but urgent all the same. His lips opened slightly, as his tongue moved out to lick my bottom lip. I gasped, and he took that moment to enter my mouth. He tasted beyond wonderful. His cool tongue exploring every inch of my mouth, made me press my body fuller to his. I was aching for him.

I kissed him harder, with more need and urgency. He groaned before he pulled away, panting slightly. He moved his face to the curve of my neck. "Take me home Carlisle."

He nodded his head. "I'm sorry. I should have asked."

"Carlisle, take me _home." _I pushed my hips into his leg, pulling at his hair again. A low sound came from his chest as he moved from my neck. It took me a moment to realise that he just growled... No purred. He purred for me. My breathing that was calming began to get quicker.

He pressed his lips softly to mine once more before I fell into the leather seat. He closed the door gently and began to walk around the car.

_What are we doing? _

Wasn't it wrong? He was Edward's father figure, Alice's, Emmett's.. But they all left me. He didn't, he made sure I was okay, only wanting me to have a good life. I'm sure they did too, but they didn't even make sure I was okay. It didn't matter about that anyway. Not now, not when it was about Carlisle. I didn't know how the turn of events brought us to this moment, but thinking back, the attraction was always there.

Hidden, forbidden, but there.


	8. Chapter 8

**AUTHORS NOTE: Oh how I love Carlisle... Oh you want the next chapter? Not my rambles? Oh, okay. **

**And oh, poor Atlas**

**The world's a beast of a burden**

**You've been holding on a long time**

**And all this longing**

**And the ships are left to rust**

**That's what the water gave us**

**So lay me down**

**Let the only sound**

**Be the overflow**

**Florence and the Machine- What the Water Gave Me**

**Bella:**

When he got into the car everything went silent, allowing my brain to clear slightly from the haze that his kiss induced. _This is fast. _My breathing began to calm, my heart rate slowed to a normal pace. I didn't know what to do now. I hadn't been with a man since Jacob. That had been years ago, I never did the rebound thing. I just wasn't like that. I never jumped into bed with an attractive man after a few days. I wasn't like that. I believed in love before sex. I just wasn't that girl.

I waited for Edward to be attracted to me. I waited till love came before I was with Jacob. Now, when the attraction was mutual, why was I second guessing?

Love. Did I love Carlisle? I always had loved Carlisle in the friendship way, but was I _in love_ with him? I looked over at him. In the pale light of the moon and street lights his skin had an alluring angelic tone. Highlights and shadows, his gold hair even more pointing out that he was an angel not a vampire.

Edward told me I couldn't be with him because he'd hurt me, I had no thoughts of Carlisle being able to hurt me though. He worked with bleeding humans all day, every day for centuries. He surely could make love to me. Besides, he had already went farther that Edward ever did. His tongue had felt so wonderful as he explored my mouth.

His strong hands gripped the steering wheel tightly. My eyes traveling from his hands to his forearms, toned perfectly, to his perfect shoulders. They ripped with muscles, not that kind that was wrestler worthy, but drool worthy. His breathing was a little jagged, his chest hitching every few breaths. I could see his muscles underneath the form-fitting black fabric. The wide expanse of his chest just simply perfect.

I had a sudden vision of my head laying on it after being completely spent. I swallowed. "Say whats on your mind Bella." Carlisle voice shocked me from my dream state.

"I feel like this is to fast, but I can't seem to care." My words were true.

"We don't have to do anything you don't want too." His eyes flicked to mine, full of honesty and something else I couldn't pinpoint. It was then that my mind finally came to a decision.

"Can we go to your house?"

"I thought you said home?"

"I like your bed." He grinned at me.

"Is that you making your mind up?" His hand moving from the steering wheel, and to my thigh. Mine went over it, but didn't move it.

I was flushed instantly though, I clicked the button to roll the window down. The dry air was a relief as it flushed my hair back.

"Just get me to that bed." I tried to hide the grin that was threatening to spread across my face.

Carlisle sped up his speed, but I wasn't afraid. I trusted Carlisle with my life, and I had a thing for speed now. I smiled as I thought of the rush of my motorcycle. I had left it in Forks, but my next trip to visit I would bring it back with me.

His hand moved up slowly, inching closer to my center. Sending shock waves of anticipation. He was so close to where I needed him, to were I ached for him. But he stopped, frustrating me to no end, but it was then that I realized he was leaving it up to me.

I moved his hand to me, letting go the desire I had felt for him all night. I rocked my hips against his hand as he pressed against, gliding a finger over my most sensitive part. I moaned, the Mercedes engine purred louder. I put my head back against the seat, closing my eyes as I held his hand tightly. The feel of him touching me through the fabric of my pants was beyond erotic.

He swiped downward, pressing in towards my entrance, my hips lifted to meet him farther. The engine cut off. His hand disappeared for the few seconds it took him to rip me from the seat, and into the house. He let me stand in the entrance way, only to press me against the wall, his kiss hard and urgent.

I moaned loudly, hands in his hair I leapt up slightly, wrapping my legs around his waist. He pressed into me a little roughly, it was then I took notice of his erection. God damn.. I wrapped my legs tighter, attempting to press him closer. I was thrilled that I could make him that way, me, simple human Bella turning on angelic Carlisle. My confidence shot up through the roof. I knew he felt that way towards me of course, but this just got rid of any fears I had whispering in the corners of my mind.

He wanted me. He carried me up the stairs and down the hall, opened his room door and kicked it shut a little to forcefully. I giggled as he tossed me on the bed. He stripped his shirt gracefully off of him before he crawled up me. My imagination didn't give his body justice. My hands trailed over every inched I could. Light gold hair was just over his chest lightly, then again on his lower stomach leading down below his belt.

I could see him now, against his jeans. My hand contuined down his chest until I ran my hand against his length. He felt wonderful, and instantly thoughts flew of what he'd feel like inside of me. He groaned, and I heard a ripping sound. It took me a full minute to come to understand that Carlisle just tore my blouse. It now opened like a button up without any buttons.

"I liked that shirt thank you very much."

"I'll buy you as many as you want." His voice was deeper and just fucking sexy. His dark gold eyes scanned my torso and chest. I didn't feel nervous of what he saw there, I'd worn my good bra thankfully, and I knew he wanted me. He licked his lips to even tell me so.

My breathing was strong, my heart was pounding. I felt like a live wire. Everything inside me felt new and exciting. I hadn't felt this way in years. His lips touched mine softly before he pulled back staring into my eyes.

"Are you sure Isabella?"

**AN: I'm debating whether I should take my first crack at a lemon. My readers know that I normally keep stuff R or PG13, not M. Let me know if I should or not, of course to the guidelines of FF, because I really don't want to get booted or this taken down. Might post on live journal the unedited one though. Tell me what you think of this chapter! It's short because I wanted the lemon to be in Carlisle's POV. **


	9. Chapter 9

**Authors Note: I must love you people. :)**

**Warnings: Dirtyness. So you better be above eighteen. I'm talking to you fifteenyearold! Wait to the next chapter. *does the "i'm watching you" fingers to my eyes then back to your eyes***

**Carlisle**

From the moment I kissed her, and she kissed me back I knew I was in trouble. We were in it deep now, we couldn't deny anything anymore. As the night progressed, I figured out something. I had always thought she was beautiful, I had always wanted her.

I just couldn't allow myself to give in. From Esmé and Edward to our age difference at the time. But lord I had always wanted this woman who I now hovered above. Staring into those beautiful eyes, swirling brown with flecks of dark gold. Waiting for her reply to my question. I knew she did, but I wanted to hear the words come from her mouth.

"Yes, Carlisle, I want you. I need you." I pulled her up kissing her passionately, while we both got on our knees on the bed. Kicking off our shoes before continuing. I removed the remains of her tattered blouse as her hands went to my belt buckle.

My fingers easily unclasped her bra, the black silk slid down her arms. I tossed across the room as I took in her bare breasts. They were perfect, full handfuls. Her nipples were a dainty pink, that still stood out against her pale skin beautifully.

I cupped them in my hands as I leaned down, kissing the valley between them. Her hands wound in my hair, tugging slightly. I flicked a thumb over her nipple as I captured the other between my lips, flicking my tongue over it. She moaned as I suckled her. She tasted so good, so divine. I had no worries of harming Bella, I could never hurt her. I had experience, and that I just wanted to make her mine in every single way possible.

I pushed her back onto the bed, kissing her neck and breasts as I slid her black pants off of her legs. Her underwear matched the bra. Black silk, with delicate designs. I liked these, it was a shame that I was going to rip them. She went back to mine, unbuttoning them, tugging urgently. I chuckled at her, and she looked up, biting her lip, she even batted her lashes. I pushed her back down.

"Is there something you want?" I whispered in her ear. I knew I was driving her crazy, and that drove me crazy. Her heart was such a tattle-tale of her emotions. The sounds she was making nearly made me completely lose my resolve, but I held steady. I wanted this to last as long as possible. But I was teetering on the edge.

"I want you.."

"What do you want from me?" She whimpered, tugging at my hair.

"I want you inside of me. Please.. Please Carlisle.." That was all I needed to push me off of the cliff.

I made quick work of removing my pants before I traveled down her body, planting kisses all the way down. I tore the thin fabric off of her. This close to her core made me get even harder, her arousal was so strong this close. I just had to have a taste.

Her reaction was startled. I knew she hadn't experience this before, and I was glad to be the first to give it to her. I licked up her wetness, in long even strokes before I sucked on her clitoris. I wasn't a lier when I said I already knew were the g-spot was, but I just had to prove it. I pushed two of my fingers into her, she was so tight and wet. I curled them up wards, before I flicked them over the sensitive spot.

Her back arched, and she seemed to be wordless, but her toes curled. Her hands knotted into the blankets. I brought her close, but not all the way. "No.." She mumbled when I pulled out of her, she arched up on her elbows, but soon grew silent.

I moved above, lining up myself with her. I kissed her, excited that she'd taste herself on my lips. When her tongue darted out to lick my lips, I wouldn't have been able to form words if my life depended on it. Her tongue went into my mouth, and I entered her. She moaned against my mouth as I slowly inched into her.

We kissed, as I slowly rocked in and out of her. She winced slightly when I was fully inside of her. The fear of hurting her sprung into my mind, but she moaned with each thrust afterward. When her hips started to move upward into me, I moved faster. Her moans grew louder.

I broke apart from her lips and moved my face to the curve of her neck. I sucked on her skin there. I didn't want her blood, but I wanted to leave my mark.

"Please Carlisle, fuck me." I growled with the pleasure of her words. It seemed to excite her more. She liked it when I growled, I would catalogue that for later.

I pushed her legs back slightly, gripping her thighs, leaning back slightly from her. I was going to give her what she wanted.

I ground into her harder, and faster. She let out a little scream of pleasure, I knew she was close. She was tightening further around me. She was sweating, make up smeared, her hair was fanned out around her, fingers clenched tight around the sheets. She was stunning in her beauty.

She came and did I. I came so hard I dots fly across my perfect vision. I fell on top of her, making sure not to hurt her. She wrapped her arms around me, holding me to her. I felt like something deep inside me was altered. Like I would never be the same again. I felt like I was.. At home, like I had place here, forever. I felt like I mattered to her, and I hadn't felt like that in years.

More than that, I felt like I was hers. _I'm yours Bella._

I moved from her, pulling the blankets around us as she curled into my side. She laid her head on my chest with a huge happy sigh. I gently moved back her hair from her face. "Carlisle."

"Isabella?"

"I'm yours too."

I didn't realize I said that aloud. But I was glad that she felt the same way. She quickly fell into slumber, and I closed my eyes. Letting myself drift off into a fake sleep, a peaceful happy place in Bella's arms.


	10. Chapter 10

**Authors Note: I'm just gonna let everyone know now, Bella won't be pregnant, at least not now. She's on the pill of course, she's an adult and should be. I'm not saying I won't ever... But I just don't know about it. I wasn't ever a fan of the child that shall not be named.. Whats your feels on the subject? **

**Bella:**

A smile curled my lips as I felt the soft bed underneath of me. Flashes of the prevous night floated across my closed lids. My body felt good, like the feeling you got after a good work out. Although between my legs was a little tender, and there was a little aching spot on my neck. I didn't mind though, we'd work out all of the kinks. I felt cool finger tips dance across my exposed back. I rolled over to see my golden angel still shirtless and under the blankets beside me. A smile barely played on his lips._ Oh those lips.._

"Hi." I said shyly, but I didn't move up the blankets that were shifting down me.

"Hello." His grin was full-blown now. "How do you feel?" He curled his body closer to mine, kissing my lips lightly, and pulling me to his chest.

"_Good."_ I murmured, kissing him again. He chuckled slightly, pulling back for a moment. I frowned at him.

"Your a little bruised," His eyes went down between us towards my thighs."I'm afraid you neck is a little red too. "

"You try to bite me Carlisle?" I said in mock horror.

"I just wanted to leave my mark is all." He kissed me after, so I couldn't reply to that comment.

We soon got carried away with our kissing, I knew what it was leading to, and I quickly wiggled from his grasp. I ran butt-naked out the room and into the bathroom across the hall. He laughed, chasing me at a human speed. "Where are you going little girl!"

I turned on the shower once I was there grinning back at him. The door slammed shot after he entered the just as much him, as the rest of the home, bathroom.

After we got clean... That really wasn't the right word though. I had to put on Carlisle's clothing since I still hadn't prepared very well. I wore a button up white long sleeve shirt and pair of his boxes like shorts. Carlisle was dressed quicker than I, already downstairs removing things from the fridge to cook for me. Much to my happiness, he wasn't wearing a shirt.

"It's a little late for breakfast, do you want lunch or?" He asked as I happily watched him from my seat by the kitchen island.

"Breakfast." I grinned remembering that, that was more than likely the only thing he knew how to cook. I tore my eyes away from his chest to look for a clock. "What time _is _it?"

"One fifteen." He replied. Holly hell! I dashed up into the living room, looking for my purse.

"Bella?" He called out.

"Just need to check my phone and take my stuff." I said padding back into the kitchen, lucky to find my purse discarding close by the door.

"Stuff?"

"Vitatamin, and birth control. " I had always had a vitamin D deficiency ever since I was little. Besides, I hated getting sick.

"Yes, I'm glad you kept up your supplements. I forgot for a moment though. Why birth control?" He was attempting to sound casual. I idly thought if he thought I had been with more men than the one I told him about.

"Makes my periods lighter. " I answered simply. "I haven't been with anyone.. Besides you.. Since, well you know." I added to stop any thoughts he might have.

"I haven't either.. " He said, his back turned from me. "Your my very first human by the way." I just knew he was grinning.

"Really?"

"Yes really. I'm hurt that you think I sleep around. I've only been with.. Esmé. I never loved anyone else. I guess like you, I think sex and love go together."

Wait.. Did that mean he loved me? I didn't know what I felt about Carlisle at that moment. I knew I loved him, that was sure. But I wasn't for sure if I was in love with him. Could I even trust another to let my self go that completely? If I fell for him hard, like much to my.. Shame? Regret? No I don't regret that my heart was telling me to fall, and fall hard. My brain was just a little beyond worried that he would leave me.. Like everyone else had in some way.

"Say something." He interrupted my inner rambles, and I was thankful.

"I just didn't think there was many like me anymore."

"Well Bella I am from a very different time."

Breakfast/lunch/very late brunch went very well, much like before he was a wonderful cook. We talked about less heavy subjects, eventually leading us to the back yard. We currently lay on a blanket in the hot sun. My hand was tracing the muscles in his arm as I thought about how to word my thoughts to him.

"Carlisle.." I started.

"Whats wrong?"

"Nothing it's just.. Can we take this slow now? I mean I love this. " Kissed where his heart would be gently. "But I actually want to date you. Really get to know you, sappy movies, roses, restaurants and dancing. I've never had that really. I want that. I- I-..."

"You can't just jump into love again?" He finished for me.

"Yes." I breathed, but _it's to late Carlisle._

"Then you'll have all of that. I know we shouldn't have done what we did last night to soon, but I just couldn't stop. Isabella.. I think I've always wanted you. It was just too much for me to take in all at once. I had to have you. It seemed like you felt the same way.."

"I did, and I did too. Always felt that way towards you." I smiled as I remembered the day he walked into the emergency room after that fateful van. My jaw had literally dropped a bit, my heart rate pounded more than it did with Edward. I even felt arousal towards him whenever he was near. That very last night I saw him, I had wanted more than ever to know what he felt like to kiss. Yet I felt such shame for it.

"I wonder what would have happened if one of us acted on our feelings."

"It would be the very first Jerry Springer: _Vampire Edition_. The case of when a Sire or rather father figure does his' son's eighteen year old girlfriend on his office desk." I mimicked an announcer's voice as much as I could.

Carlisle started laughing loudly. "Oh lord." He shook his head grinning.

I grinned back, giggling only a little bit. I was so happy in this moment. He was so easy to talk too. He was as easy as breathing, but not in the same way. He wasn't _'good'_ for me, but he was at the same time. He listened, and understood. Actually understood, and if he didn't, he asked questions actually caring on a deep conversation with me. He was... Carlisle. There was no other words.

I leaned over him, kissing him deeply.

He groaned unhappily. "Bella your phone's ringing."

"You know. I never looked at my phone."

"It seems I distracted you with bacon. Among other things.."

"Yes. Yes you did. " I lazily got up to go get the phone. I'd call whoever it was back later.

Carlisle leaned against the counter as I read the fifteen texts, and four missed calls.

_**Zoey- omgjygybugvjgbkjouj**_

I'm pretty sure that must have been a pocket text, but you never know, it could be Zoey language.

**Zoey- **

**AH! ME AND JACK! AH!**

**Zoey- **

**GIRL! CALL ME! I WANNA SPILL!**

**Zoey-**

**B?**

**Zoey- **

_**BELLLLLLLLLLLLA**_

_**Zoey-**_

_**Did you go home with doctor yummy?**_

_**Zoey-**_

_**You went home with doctor yummy!**_

_**Zoey-**_

_**I went to your house!**_

_**Zoey-**_

_**YOU MUST TELL ME EVERYTHING YOU LITTLE MINX!**_

_**Zoey-**_

_**It's not fair really.. I bet he was better than Jack. You lucky whore.**_

_**Zoey- **_

_**Seriously call me.**_

Zoey seriously needed to stop thinking about sex all the time. I sure as hell wasn't giving her all the details.. I prayed she didn't let it slip to anyone that I was wish Carlisle. It really was against policy. I didn't want Carlisle or my job to be lost.

_**Angie-**_

_**Hey Bella, it's been a couple of weeks. How are you faring back in AZ? Still like the new hosp? Meet anyone yet? Maybe I could come out on break! Ben and I sure need a vac.! Call me sweets.**_

I smiled, I did miss Angie. She was studying to be a kindergarten teacher, doing her first year as student teacher. I was proud of her.

**Mom-**

**Looks like we might be heading to Arizona honey! I'll call you with more details!**

That wouldn't be good.. I glanced up at Carlisle. Nope. Not good at all. He looked amused by watching me.

"My mom might be coming down soon. Zoey's insane, and Angela wants to come down in a few months. Just two more now. " I said scrolling down to see who the latest was from.

"Good, I can stay hidden. It would be a little hard to explain.. " He trailed off.

It was an unknown number, but I clicked it open anyway.

_**Listen, I know you don't want to hear from me anymore. It's just that I've thought of you alot. I know you haven't taken any of my letters or calls, but I asked you Dad for you cell phone number for the millionth time. I miss you. So much Bells. I'm sorry, so sorry. Beyond sorry. I just wish we could start over now, but there's no hope for that is there? No I'm not drunk or anything either. I just miss my girl. I'm a stupid fuck I know. Please.. Just text me back.**_

_**Jake.**_

**AN: Yell at me, go ahead. I deserve it. **


	11. Chapter 11

**Authors Note: Big reactions to the text message, but it was something I always had planned for them. **

You can call it what you want

You can call me anything you want

You can call us what you want

You can call me anything you want

Everybody lets you down

In this brief hole of a town

What a difference of the rushing out

Tell me what you're running from

I know everybody lets you down

I'll do the same

But know I'll always be around

This can remain the same

**Remain Nameless- Florence and the Machine**

Bella-

The phone slipped from my hands, only to be caught by Carlisle. He growled, a deep-chested growl. My eyes snapped up to his.

"Why does he have to do this now? When everything is going so perfect? Why does he have to ruin everything?" I wouldn't let him ruin this. How could he possibly think that I would ever want to be with him? He was an idiotic dog! Fury began to take over as I paced the kitchen. Desperately trying to think of a way to make him stop it.

"Bella?"

"Yes?" I asked hands in my hair.

"What do you want to do?" His voice was tight, like he was trying to calm himself and failing.

"I want to let him know I'm not available anymore!" I screamed it out before I laughed a little." And I want to change my number." I sank down onto the cool floor.

Carlisle clicked the buttons of my phone, holding it a little way from his face. "Carlisle? What are you doing?" He brought a finger to his mouth to silence me.

His fist returned to being clenched as he looked straight at me, frozen in place. "Bella?" Jacob's hopeful voice rang out from over the speaker phone.

"Why are you texting my girlfriend?" He sounded calm, but in an eery, scary way.

"Who the fuck are you?" He spat out.

"I'm Isabella Maire Swan's boyfriend. I'd ask if you wanted to confirm it with her, but she's asleep right now. Had a rather tiresome night." His voice turned cocky before, in a split second, it turned to completely lethal. "Now, you little fucker, if you text her again or try to in some way contact her, I will make your life living hell. That I promise you."

"Oh really? How do you think you can do that?" He was too confident. He must have still be phasing, I breifly noticed as my mouth hung open.

"Oh I have my talents, you little _bitch." _And he clicked off the phone, setting it on the counter.

Holly shit. Carlisle just may have outted himself to Jacob. Jacob more than likely didn't recognize his voice, but I knew he had to catch that bitch remark. I repeat, holly shit. Carlisle just threatened someone, for me. _For me._

He got down on his knees infront of me, gently taking my hands. "Nothing will come between us Bella. Nothing."

And it didn't.

The next three weeks were perfectly uneventful, besides a phone call from my father demanding to know who my boyfriend was. I didn't say a name of course, I didn't want him to have a stroke. But I assured him it was going well, but in it's early moments. Which it was.

I quickly became Carlisle's right hand. I was the only one that could keep up with his pace. He loved that he was actually in a busy hospital again. He loved the fast pace, and abundance of patients. He even scared off Mr. Bane, much to Carlisle's extreme amusement of course.

Lauire-Ann had stopped talking to me, along with Zoey. Apparently they got into a heated argument that I stole her man, and Zoey stuck up for me. Oh well, she was just another _Lauren Mallory. _

My therapist was simply ecstatic of my news. Not that I told her that I was dating my ex's 'father'. But hey, why ruin her happy moment for her lost hope case finally getting better?

We had been "dating" like I wanted. We even had a double date with Zoey and Jack. Movies, dinner, museum trip's and even dancing again. I liked it, with Carlisle at least.

There was small rumors of us being an item, but I hushed them with my steely gaze. One good thing about not really making any friends here, was that I had a reputation for being a hard ass. I didn't know why, I was pleasant, if they were. But they weren't. So well, I just wasn't. Why waste my time on someone that's simply judging the book by the cover?

I smiled as I thought of our last date. Some silly movie at the theater after Thai food. Uneventful really besides him dropping me off at home. He spent his first night there with me, in my bed, and my home. I loved the smell of him on my sheets.

"Hey." Carlisle said softly as I filled out a file, leaning against the counter.

"Hey." It was getting close to leaving, I flashed him a smile. He leaned with me, running a hand through his hair.

"Tired?" He asked me.

"I could stay up a little longer." I winked at him, earning a grin.

"We got a gunshot! Dr. Cullen, Swan!" The ambulance orderly yelled from the doors.

I cursed under my breath as we ran to help push the patient in, Carlisle asking questions loudly, and pulling him to a room to get him stable. I was worried, but yet I loved the adrenaline that rushed through my veins every time we had a new patient.

What started as a good night ended badly. The man who was rushed in, was lost. We both failed him. It hit me hard, like all the lives lost did. But this was a different, he died with Carlisle pumping on his heart, his blood on my gloved hands while I pumped the air into his mouth. He was a older man, victim of a robbery. He reminded me, sadly, of Charlie. With his salt n' pepper hair, and laugh lines.

Carlisle told the time as the machine rang loudly out. I shut it off numbly. Times like this I hated this job.

In the staff locker room I washed, and _washed_ my hands and arms. I sighed leaning over the sink, giving up.

"It's hard, I know." Carlisle spoke gently.

"How have you done it for so long?"

His shoulders lifted and fell. "Gotta think of the people you save Bella. You do save them, you're the best nurse I've ever seen. You keep up with me, and that's _hard _sweet heart_. _So come on, let's go home."

"Let's go home?" A female voice acussed, as I whipped around. Lauire-Ann stood with her hands on her hips.

"Yeah, we car pool." I answered quickly.

"Hmm.. Is that so?"

"Yes, it's so. She's on my way here, and Bella is my best friend."

"Really? Your best friend? I've heard different. I've _seen _different. You think it's hard to miss all of your glances, and touching? Or that little show you put on a few weeks back at the bar?"

"Well Laurie-Ann, if dancing and casual touches is wrong, and you screwing Dr. Hodge, what is that exactly? You know those fifteen minute breaks you take at the same time, both of you sneaking into his office. People have eyes hon, and there's cameras." I giggled. Carlisle hadn't shared this with me, I bet he wanted the right time.

"Let's go home Carlisle."

"Gladly." We walked past a very shell-shocked Lauire Ann, I couldn't contain my giggles but my laughter got worse in the parking lot.

"How did you know that?!"

"I've seen it, and you know, super hearing."

"EWWWWWW!" He winced and crinkled his face.

"Yes, ew. Good thing is, black mail is amazing. If she tries anything, she'll get fired right along with us. And I'll have proof, I'll get a damn picture if I have too. Were you aware her and Zoey got into a fight about me being _her_ man?" He opened my door for me, waiting on him to, slide into his seat before I answered him.

"Yes, Zoey told me a few days ago. I just rolled my eyes."

"Yeah it was bad, I over heard the end of it. Zoey stuck up for you though. I like her." We were onto the main road now. The sun was just starting to rise, always perfect timing. We never got caught in it, and the dark tint of the Mercedes kept away the light.

"Me too. Hmm.. Should I get take out or make something?"

"I could make you dinner, your place or mine?"

"Yours." He grinned at me.

"You know.. Maybe you should think about moving some of your stuff to my place.. More than just leaving your back pack in my car." He looked away quickly, and his voice was a little shaky. Which was unnatural for Carlisle except when he was nervous.

"Like a drawer or something?" I asked a little human in my voice, remembering yesterday's _Sex and the City _episode.

"Yeah, like a drawer. I know we're never apart, just when I have to hunt, but if you need to get in my house." He slid a key into my palm, wrapping my fingers around it before moving it back to the steering wheel.

I beamed at him, I saw the corner of his mouth twitch up. I leaned back into the seat, grinning even more. I twirled the little key, around and round in my fingers. I had no idea what I was going to tell anyone. Renée planned to be here next week. I had a plan to go to her house this week-end to make sure everything was tidy for them. I don't know if I could hide Carlisle, and if I didn't, how would she react? Did he even want to meet my Mom and step Dad?

"Renée and Phil are coming next week you know.. "

"I know."

"What do you want me to say about you?"

"Whatever you feel like telling her. If you want me to meet her, you know it's going to be hard. She has met me before.. The age gap will be a little shocking to her... Though I don't believe I told her how old I was. I guess we could tell her the fib we're saying now. That Esmé was older than I.." He quickly looked over at me. "If you wanted that."

"I do.. But.. We have to get the story perfect. I don't want any gaps, anyway she could poke holes through it. She just seems to know things.. Maybe she's just a mom." I shrugged.

"We could say I was embarrassed about graduating so young, and wanted to fit in better? To avoid even more questions."

"How old would we say Esme is?"

"Thiry-three."

"And your twenty-eight?" He nodded, and I grinned. That would mean he'd only be five years from me.

"We could say I met her in college, that I graduated highschool at 15. Then we say the truth. That we both weren't old enough to make it. That we just weren't right for each other."

"She'd understand that, it's how she feels about her and Charlie." I got out of the now parked sleek black car, pulling my pack from the back seat. Carlisle flashed around the car, taking it from me, and gently holding my hand as we walked inside.

I shrugged off my jacket, placing it on the rack like Carlisle. I sighed, leaning against the wall. "What about Charlie?" I asked, hoping he'd have my answers.

He looked down, taking both of my hands. "You don't have to tell them.. I know it would cause things, and I don't-"

"Carlisle, your my boyfriend. We have to them. "

"Boyfriend hmm?" I smiled, it didn't feel right to call him that.

"Call it what you want, call me what you want. But their my family, I just want to know how to tell them. You know in the way they won't have a stroke. And i'm nervous as hell."

"Family.." He said near silently, leaning forward placing his forehead against mine. I breathed in deeply, taking in his delicious scent. "I think we should tell Alice and Jasper."

"Carlilse I-"

"I know it will be hard for you, and if you don't wish to speak to them, then you don't have too. I just want to tell them. Jasper never meant to hurt you, you know that. It was just his gift betraying him. And Alice, she truly thought everything would work out. She still says her vision of you hasn't changed. Maybe.. Maybe she saw this.. Maybe she already knows." I kissed him softly before pulling away.

"Carlisle I think you should tell them. " He smiled so brightly, it was nearly painful to look at. He had so much light in him, moments like this he let it leak out. It seems, thinking back, that he only smiled like this to me. Or maybe I just didn't see it when others made him.


	12. Chapter 12

**Authors Note: I'd like to think the fabulous Leelan Jacobs, Sinvisigoth, and mfaerie32 for dealing with my musings and letting me bounce ideas at you! I love all of your help, and knowing that theres just as insane people out there as me!**

**So please, if you have ideas on where you want the story to go, just PM me or leave it in the review. I love your imput! **

**AND OMG! 103 reviews! SQEEE!**

**Note: Really Leelan, a man can only wait for so long! **

**WARNINGS: There is a naughty bit in this chapter. I just could stop myself. It's not long though. **

_**Carlisle:**_

I couldn't contain the smile the spread across my face. I had been worried on how she would react, for the past week I had fretted over how to ask her. The past days had been the very best of my long life. Bella had so many levels I never knew about, and I was in love with each one of them. I had never, ever felt this way. Never with Esmé, and no one before. She made me so happy, so young.

I had to say it. I couldn't hold it back anymore. "I love you Isabella." Her lips fell open, but I put a finger to them. "You don't have to say anything, I know your worried about letting yourself love again. I'm not blind, but I swear darling, I will love you forever. I'm never going to leave you, even if you try to beat me away with a broom." I grinned at her, making her smile. "So.. Just be quite." I moved my finger from her lips and gently cupped her cheek.

My lips met hers before she could even have a chance to say anything. She responded with fever, hands locking in my hair. My free hand ran down her body to gently squeeze her perfect bottom, before lifting her up. Perfectly in-sync with me her legs wrapped around my waist.

I quickly went up the stairs, and down the hall to the bathroom, setting her on the ledge of the sink. I needed her, and I needed her quickly. Thank the heavens that she was moving just as fast as I was. I lifted my shirt, and under shirt over my head just as she took off hers. My hands danced over her exposed silky skin, as I kissed her again.

I ran a finger over the front of her bra, one I hadn't seen. I had possibly ruined all the others, but I sure was glad she got this one. Black lace covered her breasts, soft pink peaking through. I very gently removed it. I grinned at her. "I like this one." She giggled at me as I held it up.

Soon everything was gone, and I was taking her on the counter. A new spot of the house that we had christened. This wasn't gentle love-making, it was rough and full of need. It was quick but effective, as she let out a loud moan half scream and tilted her head back hitting the mirror. With a final movement of my hips I fell against her, bracing a hand on the wall.

She smiled as she panted, smoothing my hair back with her fingers. "Wanna take a bath?"

"Of course."

She laid against my body as the hot water ran from the faucet. My hand was on her stomach, the other gently rubbing her shoulders. I could tell she was tired. She had been sleeping better now, so the night schedule was getting a little bit harder.

"You didn't let me speak earlier."

"I didn't want you to feel like you had too. I've got all the time in the world Isabella, I can wait." I kissed the top of her wet head.

"But you don't have too." I froze.

"What do you mean?" I swallowed as I waited.

"I already love you Carlisle. I've always loved you. Now I'm sure that I'm _in_ love with you. One hundred percent. Seems like your stuck with me, because I'm never telling you to go away. Or how was it you put it? Beat you with a broom?" She silently laughed, trying to hold it in, but I felt her body shake.

"Oh Bella, Bella." I pulled her back against me more, kissing her shoulder and neck.

"Nothing gonna get between us."

"Nothing."

The weekend came quickly, I offered to help Bella with getting her mother's house ready, but she denied. Saying it would be to much. I even took double shifts this week, it was bad for Bella and I, but it gave me a good rep. I had been doing that about two days a week, but I needed to make a good impression. This weekend I would be working the day shift, thank goodness for underground parking.

I had an hour break before the next shift. Bella was just now getting off work, she clocked out, took her clothing from her locker and went the stalls while I leaned against the wall. Her mother had gotten home late last night. After a few moments she came out.

"How do I look?" She looked good, but I didn't like the bright shade of green she wore. It was sleeveless, fitted and low-cut. The necklace I had bought her hung around her neck though. It was a blown glass heart that held a small iris inside of it. She fell in love with it, all those weeks ago in the mall.

"You look beautiful." I beamed at her.

"The color is horrid isn't it? Renée bought it for me." She winced as she looked down at it.

"You can pull anything off darling." She smiled as she rolled her eyes, before turning to the mirror. I watched her as she applied her simple makeup, walking over to lean on the long counter. Her eyes kept flicking over to mine, a smile playing on her lips.

I heard foot steps enter, and a unfamilar scent. Must have been someone from the day shift. I hadn't gotten to know anyone yet, I had been in charge of the emergencies, which had been very frequent these past few days.

A very average man with light brown hair walked in, a bag in his hand. Changing for his shift since he was wearing blue jeans. "Oh! Hi Doctor Cole. How's the day shift treating you?" Bella spun around, after she put away her mascara.

Dr. Cole's eyes traveled down and back up her body before he answered her. "Much better, she could come over to the land of the light Ms. Swan." His eyes shifted over to mine. "You took over for me correct? Doctor Cullen right?"

"Yes." I reached out my hand which he shook, attempting to do the ever normal 'I am stronger than you' hand shake. I couldn't help myself, I applied a tiny amount more than normal. He couldn't look at _my _woman like that. I smiled, bareing a little bit too much teeth. His heart rate went up, and stepped a few more feet away from me than necessary. "I think I'd like to keep Bella in the dark side if you don't mind. She's my right hand."

"Ah yes. She's something." Bella fidgeted before grabbing her things.

"Carlisle? Walk me?"

"Of course." I took the bag from her and we made our way out the room. She called a goodbye and waved back.

We walked apart from each other all the way to the car. "Be careful love." I kissed her gently.

"Oh I won't hurt your baby. I'll be back to pick you up. Five thirty right?" I nodded. She liked my car, much to my amusement. I had maybe turned her from a truck girl, just maybe.

"Have a good day, get a nap in before you pick me up honey." She snorted and I chuckled.

"I have these!" She pulled out a little bottle that said it would give her five hours of energy. I frowned, shaking my head.

With one last kiss, and I love you's, she pulled away. Tomorrow I would be meeting her mother, but today she was going to tell her who I was. I couldn't have been more worried for her.

I knew it would work out some how. It had too.

I was down in the parking lot again at five forty, Bella was calmly waiting outside of the car leaning against the passenger door. She tossed me my keys and got in. She looked tired, in more ways than one, and I was instantly worried.

I got in, looking over at her. "What happened darling?"

"I explained it to her the way we planned. She didn't speak for five minutes straight, maybe six. Then she told me how much she disapproved." I winced.

"Oh Bella I'm-"

"Then she said she trusted my judgement though." She looked a little teary eyed. "She actually said she was sorry for not being a mother, that I was alway the one with good judgement. I just can't believe she would admit that.. I think it went well Carlisle, like really well. I don't know if it won't be a smooth ride though, because she really dosen't like this." She looked up at me.

I reached over and wiped away the stray tear that fell. "I can take anything she's got to throw at me. I'm glad you had a good day. Ready to go home? I'll get you food and then we can watch your show, I know it's on tonight." She giggled and nodded her head vigorously. She loved watching that damn show, she found it beyond amusing. I couldn't stand it but I would suffer through every episode of _Vampire Diaries _just to make her happy.

**AN**:** Next chapter you'll get Renee's reaction, and have Carlisle meet her and Phil.**


	13. Chapter 13

**AUTHORS NOTE: As always I love your reviews, and again, Leelan Jacobs, Sinvisigoth, and mfaerie32 were big helps with this. **

_**Bella-**_

I pulled away in the Mercedes, comforted by the soft leather and air conditioning. It was getting hotter, and my Forks body had to get used to Arizona again. I was so happy to see my mother, it was so rare that I got too. Phil, and her when he wasn't working, were traveling to all the places she had wanted to ever go.

I was glad for her, that she was being able to live her dream and be happy like I had wanted her too. I pulled onto Black Canyon Highway to make the short trip to Phoenix, Glendale was only a mere twenty-five minutes away. I didn't know what she would make of me pulling up in this black beauty, but I had told her over the phone that I was dating someone. It took a lot of talking to get her to realise I would only talk about him in person.

Before to long, there it was. The home I spent my preteens, and early teen years at. The dark burnt gold paint still looked the same, with the color of rust shutters. The cactus all in the yard, the cobble stone path leading up to the door. I remembered tripping on that very path scrapping my knee pretty badly, plus a hand on a cactus. I sighed shaking my thoughts away from the memory.

There she came running out of the house, wild red hair, and blue denim shorts. I shut the car door and made a run for her. She hugged me tightly as we bounced around in a happy, giggly circle. "Oh Bella! You look so beautiful honey. I've missed you so much." She cooed into my ear as she attempted to squeeze the life out of me.

"Mom, I need air." She laughed moving away from me, hands still on my upper arms. She was still a gorgeous women, even with her laugh lines and silver streaks that she hid with the unnatural bright red. "I've missed you to Mom." She laced her arm with mine.

We walked up the stone walk, through the house and out onto the back porch. She chatted the entire time, telling me of the trip here, of how nice the house looked. Phil was out back, running a net through the nearly perfect pool.

"Hi Phil." I waved over at him.

"Hey Bella, how are you doin' these days? It's been to long." He abandoned her choir, to walk over and give me a brief hug. Phill was still young, with a baby face and gleaming teeth. He was in his mid thirties now, Mom being forty two. He didn't seem to mind though, he still looked at her with love in his.

"I've done great, loving Glendale."

"Great, great. Well honey, I'm going to go get groceries, give you two girls time to chat." I looked away as he kissed her before running off. He did the shopping and the cooking, thank goodness for mom. She couldn't make a tv dinner right.

Renne sat in a long char, legs swining over the wrong way as she put her elbows on her knees. I mimicked her postion on the purple chair beside it. It had always been mine.

"So. Your here now. Spill it." I took a deep breath.

"You have to promise me something first. You can't judge me, and you have to let me get it all out. Okay? Just let me say it all before you comment."

"Bella-" She was instantly worried.

"_Please." _She sighed, nodding. Then I began. "Do you remember Doctor Cullen?" Her eyes widened but she nodded again. Then I began to tell the story of Carlisle that we had carefully planned to match each other.

"Carlisle was born in Brooklyn, he skipped grades, took summer college classes, all which were honors classes. He graduated at fifteen, where his parent's let him go to college nearby, after they died, he was emancipated at seventeen. At eighteen he went to Harvard, where he met Esmé then, almost instantly falling in love because of there similar lives. He earned his degree just as fast as he did school, taking any extra courses he could. When they married the kids just seemed to fall into their laps, first with Edward who he treated at a hospital he worked, then Esmé's niece and nephew. Emmett and Alice had no other place to go, and the agency called them. When he moved to Forks, he had just gotten out of his ER shift every new doctor had to go through. He and Esme's life had gone down hill for a few years. They fell out of love, they were to young Mom. Carlisle is twenty eight. He came here for a chance of scenery, Esme and Carlisle divorced four years ago. "

"And your dating him? Your ex boyfriend's _father?" _She looked appalled and it stung down deep into my bones, but I looked away.

"I couldn't have been more shocked when I saw him in the elevator. He looked different, but the same. I couldn't imagine why he would be here, Esmé would never like Arizona. He gave me his card, to call him. He was the new night shift doctor. I called.. I couldn't stop myself, I had to know if Edward was anywhere near me. I couldn't have him be near me. We talked, and talked. I told him of what I went through with Edward, and he told me of what he and Esmé went through."

"What did he and Esmé go through?" Renée quistioned.

"Esmé wanter her own children, she wanted a different life that Carlisle wanted. I just believe that they weren't right for each other, nor was I was I ever with Edward. I'm not going to lie to you Mother. Ask me anything you want about Carlisle, and I will answer. But I'm not breaking up with him, we've been dating for the past month. He's like no other man I've ever known, and he's so much like me Mom. He never really had a chance to be young, and we've been young together, you would be proud-" I was rambling and I couldn't stop myself.

She raised her hand to silence me, before she leaned back in the chair, squinting at the bright sun. She stayed still for a very long time before she spoke again. "I don't like it, but your to stubborn to ever listen to me. When I met him, I'd always liked him, I won't lie. I had no idea he was so young.." She raised an eyebrow at me. "He is, right?"

"Mother I would never lie to you! You can see his drivers licence tomorrow if you like." Her mouth quirked up at a corner.

She locked eyes with me, quickly leaning back forward. "I know I don't like it, but that dosen't mean I don't trust you, or don't want you to be happy. I haven't seen you this way in years Bella. Please, just tell me your being safe."

"Safe? Like safe sex? Mom!"

"No, not that, I mean, don't let yourself fall only to plummet to the rocks." She looked at me like a mother should, before she grinned. "Although I would like to know if your being safe that way too."

"_Of course_." I guess it meant for both questions, because I had been. Now I was certain, Carlisle wasn't like any guy I had been with. I guess that's because all I had ever been with was boys. Carlisle was actually a man, a true to his word and heart man.

"I've never been the way a mother should to you Bella. For that I'm sorry, I guess maybe I just wasn't built to be a parent. But I sure got lucky with the best daughter anyone could ever ask for. I know I'm crazy, but I'm your mom. And if he hurts you, I will hunt him down."

I laughed, though my eyes were leaking. "Speaking of that, don't tell Dad just yet will you?"

"Honey, I ain't that crazy." I hugged her tightly, as I heard the door open and Phil's voice calling out.

"Honies, I'm home!"

We smiled at each other before getting up to help him.

"Carlisle just calm down would you. I thought you would have to be calming me."

"Are you sure I'm dressed okay though?" Carlisle wore nice black jeans, and a deep dark blue v-neck t-shirt, a suit blazer over it.

"Yes! My word your just like Zoey when your nervous." He glared at me from the driver's seat.

I grinned evilly in return.

His eyes grazed over me, and for a moment I thought he could see the lacy black underwear I wore underneath my black barely above the knee skirt, and lilac blouse. Both screamed summer, and airy grace when they moved. Even though I held no grace.

"Get your perviness out now, because your on your best behavior when we get their. "

"Of course, but I will take you up on that." His hand slid under my skirt, and squeezed my bare thigh gently. Memories of the morning played across my vision. Of his cool hips as I wrapped my legs around them.

I smiled, leaning over to kiss him lightly. "I have good feelings about tonight!" I announced.

"Good, because here we are. " We stepped out of the car, his hand gently in mine, the other holding the lasagna he had made.

I felt silly knocking, but luckily the door swung open before my knuckles reached the door.

"Honey!" Renée hugged me gently before leaning back to appraise Carlisle fully.

"Mom, this is Carlisle. Carlisle this is my mother, Renée Dwyer. You've met once before of course." I was a little nervous now that it was actually happening.

"Mrs. Dwyer." Carlisle held out his hand for her. She took it, smiling slightly.

"Call me Renée. Whats that?" She nodded to his other hand.

"Lasagna, my families recipe." He smiled at her. "I thought I could bring something to help with dinner."

"Oh, how kind! Come on in." We went to the kitchen where Carlisle placed the dish on the counter.

"Renée, Bella's here? I need to ask her a question about-" He broke off as he looked up from the can he was holding. "Oh, your here already. And you are?" He asked Carlisle sternly.

Which nearly made me have a heart attack, Phil never once acted like that about me. "Carlisle Cullen." Again they shook hands, seemingly appraising each other while doing so.

"He's Bella's boyfriend. He's a doctor." She added lightly. She was trying to keep this not tense, and for that I would always love her. She hated conflict.

"What was the question Phil?" I asked removing the can from his hand, shaking my head. "No no no, not this, did you even watch the video I sent you?"

As Phil and I contuined to make dinner, Carlisle on the fringes helping when needed. He chatted with my mother, I tried to strain my ears to hear, but most of the time I couldn't. Phil had turned on his music, I smiled hugely. It was the band he had first given me before I left for Forks.

The night went well, but after one trip of me going to the bathroom and coming back to see Carlisle a little startled, I tried not to leave him alone. I would have to question him about it later.

Mother got the wine out and offered us a glass. "Mom-"

"Bella your twenty-three, don't tell me you haven't drunk before." I rolled my eyes.

"I have... But isn't wierd.. You know I'm your kid and all." Carlisle chuckled.

"Suit yourself, how about you Carlisle?"

"I think I'll stay sober if Bella changes her mind." I smiled at him. He had endured human food for me all night. He had endured my mother, and step father _all night. _He deserved something good when we got home.

"So Carlisle, how old are you?" Phil asked, taking a drink of his beer.

"Twenty eight." Carlisle replied calmly, which Phil nodded in return.

"Can I see your ID?"

"MOM! I meant that as-"

"Of course." He pulled out his wallet, then the card and handed it to. She looked at it for a moment before handing it back.

"Bella tells me after your divorce, you needed to change areas? Where did you live before?" Renee asked.

"Divorce?" Phil asked, dear lord, had she not told him anything? I sighed inwardly.

"New Hampshire, California, and New York for a bit. I needed some place I hadn't been. Yes, I'm divorced." He answered the very shocked Phil.

I gave my mother a pointed look that she just rolled her eyes too. "Four years hmm? Had you moved on since then?"

"Mom, really?" I asked, actually sighing now.

"No one. I'm not that type of person to jump into a relationship."

"Oh really?" She asked, cocking her eyebrow at him.

"Mom."

"Bella I can ask him question, I just want to make sure his intentions are-"

"I'm not sixteen, you don't have to do this. I told you already mom, he's like me. "

"Like you?" He asked. "I don't think I'm nearly as stubborn or hot-headed thank you very much." His tone was laced with humor, and Phil even cracked a small smile.

"Oh _really?_ Then what was that thing with Doctor Cole? Mr. I'm the zennist man on the earth."He stayed silent, and looked away.

My mother giggled. apparently bickering was the trick to make her happy, and it even loosened me up enough to let myself be me. Be the me I was around Carlisle, it seemed to have the same effect on Carlisle, because after that, the night went much better.

**AN**: **Next Chapter you'll see what Renée said to him when Bella was in the other room or bathroom. Also Phil's words with him. :)**


	14. Chapter 14

**Authors Note: Sorry for the delay! Had my birthday this week, many plans stalled my writing. (Sorry this is short, next update will make up for it, hopefully in the next couple day :)**

Carlisle:

Meeting Bella's Mother and stepfather was something to remember. I looked down at Bella as she lay next to me. Thinking back to earlier tonight. The moment Bella had slipped out of the room Renée began her mother's code of let the boyfriend be scared.

She had been nothing but light casual chit-chat, attempting to get to know me with only thinly laced attempts at knowing my past. But suddenly, when Bella left to use the restroom, and Phil in the kitchen, she launched her attack.

"Listen Carlisle, I'm just going to put this very bluntly, and I want honest answers. You got it?"

"Yes, of course." I was instantly petrified of the tiny woman.

"Were you with my daughter in Forks?" My eyes must have been the size of the moon.

"NO! Of course not, when Bella was in Forks it was nothing but friendly ness between. I will admit I liked her as friend, but never anything more. Never went past that, we both had someone, and she was much to young then."She nodded, seemilngly un-phased by my answer.

"Why did you divorce Esmé, the real answer."

"The real answer is the one Bella told you. Also I didn't want to be an instant parent to teenagers, and.. We disagreed pretty strongly on a subject about Edward." She nodded again, completely un-readable.

Bella had come back into the room then, and the conversation about me carried on a bit later.

Much later, when Renée and Bella were telling each other good-bye, and speaking of what they planned on doing this week, Phil talked to me.

"Carlisle." I smiled a little and nodded at him, moving my hands to my pockets, a bit uneasy. I didn't what he would say. "I don't know your story, or anything about you and Bella. But I love that kid like she's my own. I don't know if she knows it or not, I've never wanted to get between her and her father. I'm saying this to let you know, that if you hurt her, Charlie will hunt you down, and I'll beat the shit out of you with my Louisville." He grinned at me before he grasped my shoulder, patting me lightly as he looked over to his wife.

"If I ever hurt her Phil.. " I shook my head, at a loss for words. I couldn't fathom hurting Bella, I would surely wish to not live anymore, I knew that.

"You seem like a good guy. So.. Stay around for a good long while, okay?"

"I'd like to." I looked over to Bella, seeing her laugh happily as she looked over to me.

Over all the night had went well, and once we were home even better. I peeled myself away from Bella, trying not to stir her. I had a double shift again, and didn't want to wake her. I had yet to call Alice, and Jasper. Now seemed like the best time to let them know of the new's. I left the room, pulling on my clothing before hand.

In my office, I powered up my laptop loading Skype. Sure enough Alice was online. She video call me instantly. She was bouncing with excitement so much the screen was making it horrible to view her. "Alice.." Jasper's southern drawl said in the back ground.

"I'm sorry! I'm just so excited you've finally 'told' me." She beamed brightly.

"How long have you knew?"

Alice bit her lip and looked down. "Awhile."

"Alice! My lord, have you know all along?"

"No! I wouldn't have put Bella through what she went through if I did! I didn't start seeing visions of her until she moved away from Forks. Then I did, but it was just of you and her. She was a vampire, and you were holding her hand. Then a few more over the years, then once you made the decision to more to Arizona, I saw... " She looked away embarrassed.

"O-Oh dear. S-sorry about that Alice." I instantly looked away as I stammered the words out. I heard Bella's feet hit the floor. "Bella's awake."

"Do you think she'd want to talk to me?"

"I'll give her you number Alice, I think it needs to gradually work up a bit. I know she loves you, but she's a little mad at you."

"Is she mad at.." Jasper peered into the laptop.

"No Jasper, she was never mad at you. You should know that." I should my head at him.

"Carlisle?" Bella's voice rang out sleepily.

"Gotta go."

"Say hi!"

"Aww! Love birds!"

I shut the lap top and flashed out to Bella, startling her slightly. "Go back to bed darling. What's wrong?"

"I had a bad dream, there was frogs.. Everywhere." She shook her head, her eyes were still a little cast over. I had came aware over the past few weeks that Bella sometimes sleep walked. Nothing like you see in movies, just walking and talked with knowing she ever did it. Always talking about completly _insane _but simply hilarious things.

I chuckled as I picked her up, caring her bridal style, to which she giggled loudly. She snuggled into my chest before she promptly drifted off into dreamland, hopefully one filled with less frogs than before.

She feared the silliest things, frogs, spiders, and most insanely jack in the boxes. They weren't even alive, yet she was petrified at the very sound.

I tucked her back into bed, leaving a note before I made off to work.

The week that Renée and Phil had stayed went by rather quickly, I spent to more dinners with them before they left. Ones filled with much less drama, and Bella seemed to be much happier by spending time with her mother. I know she missed her a great deal, and was sad to see her leave again.

But now that Phil was out of the league, they had plenty of money to travel, and that they did. Fulfilling Renee's long life dreams. The only downside was that they were rarely home anymore.

Bella and I were on the couch watching a movie after I had made her dinner a few days later when she spoke. "I talked to Alice, for _three hours. _I forgot home much she could talk, but I talked alot. I mean alot. I've really missed her. I want to see her... I told her I'd talk to you about a time they could visit." _Thank goodness._

"Really?"

"Really." She smiled at me, and I kissed her lips roughly. I pushed her back on the couch, hovering above her.

"She can come when she wants." Bella leaned up and kissed my lips before she giggled, and broke away.

"Good because she'll be here in three days."


	15. Chapter 15

**Authors note: YAY Alice and Jasper time! **

**Bella:**

The week with my mother had passed to quickly, like it always did, and all too soon we were again sitting by the pool. It was her last day, and Phil was in town getting things to keep them for there road trip to New York. I was actually wearing a bikini, my aviators on as stared up at the bright hot sun.

"Bella... " She sighed, and I leaned up, lifting my sunglasses to look at her.

"What's wrong?"

"It's just.. I think your moving to fast with him. Theres something about him.. I just.. I want to like him, he's great really he is. But I just have this feeling that your moving to fast and soon you won't have anytime for me.. I don't like it, and I don't like his past. I don't think I ever will. Tell me Bella, what do you see in your future with him? I mean, really, what do you want to come out of this?"

I was taken aback, I thought she had moved past this. She and Carlisle had got along the past few days. He and _Phil_ had been getting along wonderfully. I sighed, closing my eyes. I would answer her as truthfully as I could. But, what did I see happening with Carlisle?

In a sudden moment, I saw a future I could never have. Curly blonde headed children giggling in the sun, playing together as Carlisle and I sat on the porch. Then I saw the future that was going to happen, Carlisle and I together forever. "I see spending the rest of my days with him. In anyway life my take it."

I opened my eyes, looking at her to see her face in her hands. She shook her head, as she laid back down. "Oh Bella. I always thought you were nothing like me, that you were the sensible one, the one with the brain. I was fiction, romance and sci-fi, and you were non-fiction history. But your far too much like me, a much different genre of book that I ever thought you to be."

I grinned at how truly wrong her statement was, I lay back down. "Well Mom, you should know to never judge a book by its cover."

A few days later, I held Alice's number in my hand, pacing my small living room. Carlisle was at the hospital, and he had given me the number days ago. I had attempted to gain the courage to call her ever since then. I looked at the screen of my phone, the back to the paper, then back and forth.

I punched the numbers into the touch screen, not satisfied at all because it didn't have a clicking sound like a normal phone would. I held it to my ear, trying to calm my breathing. Before it could even ring fully, it was answered.

"Bella?" Alice's normally chirpy voice was hesitant, and shy.

"Alice." I breathed her name out, and all the pain that her loss had made poured out of me. "I've missed you so much." I don't know if she understood the words, because they came out a choked sob.

"Bel-la!" She sobbed horribly." I-I-I'm sooo sorry! I thought I was doing the right thing, please forgive me. I know I don't deserve it, but I still had hope, I still saw you with me as a vampire. That never changed.. Oh Bella!" She was crying brokenly into the receiver, and for a few minutes we just cried like fools.

"Of coursse. I.. I just want my sister back. Thats all I ever wanted. I've been mad at you, I have I won't lie. But when I'm a vampire, remind me to smack the shit out of you." Her tinkly laugh rang out loudly, and a bit like Emmett. I wiped at my tears, giggling slightly.

"Tell me everything I've missed." So I did, I told her my story of every moment since she left. I even told her of Carlisle, of how I felt now, and how I felt back then. That I'd kill her if she knew all along, and when she told me she didn't, that she only saw _choices_ and that _she_ would kill the next person that though she was a crystal ball.

Afterword I begged her to tell Jasper not to think I blamed him at all, and was rewarded by a charming Jasper talking into the receiver about how sorry he was. "Bella, I know I don't know you well enough, and I'm sorry for that. I'm sorry for many things, I should have never reacted the way I did. But I have trouble, it's been better now, but that may be because there isn't as many vampires around me."

"Because you feel blood lust don't you?"

"Yes, I do. How did you know that?" He asked curiously.

"Just a guess, I think alot. Could it have been because I was Edward's singer? You very well could of saved my life if so. He could of attacked me, and you just gave him a distraction." It was something I had long thought of, at nights when I couldn't sleep I thought of the past. Of insane theories, and what could have beens.

"Thats what I told him!" Alice's voice shrieked out.

"Well then, never bet against Alice, Jasper. "

"Your very... Odd Bella." He chuckled. "Thank you.."

"For?"

"Believing in me when I gave you no reason too." His southern drawl made me melt on the inside, and I felt myself blushing. Damn no wonder Alice fell so hard for him.

"Well, a person once told me I was worth it when I never thought I was. I thought I might pass that along again." I smiled to myself. He was speechless for a few moments.

"I hope to know you better in the future little sister. Here's Alice, I think she wants to con you into a shopping trip so hold your grou-" He broke off as Alice assumedily grabbed the phone.

"Soo." Alice said a little out of breath. "Don't listen to him, atleast that last bit."

"So, I've done all the talking. Tell me what you've been up too." Then she began to tell me of Jasper's brother and his wife, and that they had visited them alot, along with traveling to places _Jasper_ wanted to go. Since Alice had got her way the last time they traveled. Proclaiming that if she went to another pondunk town she was going to lose her mind, she asked me if she could visit.

"Well, I'll ask Carlisle when's the best time. You'd have to get a place here.. Our places aren't big enough.. And you know.. " I really don't want two vampires in the house when me and Carlisle get...

"And you don't want us to hear you and Carlisle get freaky?" Jasper suddenly said. To which of course I screamed.

"_Jasper!"_ The next thing I heard was the distinct sound of a vampire hand smacking the back of another vampire's head. "Sorry Bella, and of course. We'll find and place and head out.. Hmm yes, should be about four days or so. "

"Okay Alice, that sounds great."

"What.. What are you going to do about Emmett? He misses you alot.. It nearly killed him to leave you Bella.."

"I.. I don't know yet Alice. Where are they?"

"I know Rosalie keeps in contact with Esmé, and that Edward and Esmé are together, some where. I don't look for their location, as per request. I haven't visited with them.. or spoke. Just talked to Rosalie, and went to Vegas with Emmett. And Reno. She dosen't come when he visits.. Not anymore. Last time we spoke we got into a fight. I let it slip that my vision of you hadn't changed."

"What does it matter to her?" I never understood how she could hate me so much, while not even knowing me.

"She.. Envies you. She want's to be human again. I don't know why, I've never felt like that, you know that. But I do know she always wanted a baby. I've never been close with Rosalie, and she even been hostile to me. Thats just her. Only one she's nice to is Emmett and Esmé. Edward too. Only because he wants to be human just as much as her, if not more." I sighed.

"We'll talk more once your here, Carlisle should be off soon. I better go pick him up. Bye Alice, Jasper. I love you both."

"I love you too! Bye!" Alice chirped.

"Bye little sister!" Jaspers voice was the last I heard as the phone call ended.

I though over things a bit more before heading over to his house. No I had just finished telling him about Alice, and he was there slack-jawed before he shook his head hopelessly, still laying on top of me.

"I'm so glad you made up, but Lord.. I don't want them in my house. What if we want to do this? Here. On the couch, in the kitchen.. The stairs.. " He kissed my neck as he spoke.

"They are getting their own place." He froze, the slowly moved looking into my eyes. I grinned at him.

And we took advantage of no one living in the house besides us.

Just on time, Carlisle and I taking off a day of work, Alice and Jasper were on their way. We were on the porch, and for another moment, I remembered my day-dream at my mothers. It was this porch I saw, and this front yard I saw the curly blonde-headed boy and girl. I sighed, grasping his hand.

Then I spotted a shiny canary yellow car, with a motorcycle following it.

**AN: How long do you think it should be before they tell Emmett and Rosalie? When that happens, how would you like Rosalie to react/feel about Bella?**

**I've asked this before, but I feel the need to ask it again. Would any of you be terribly mad if there was a baby? I keep thinking about it.. I'm undecided though. Tell me your thoughts, you know I love them :)**


	16. Chapter 16

**Authors Note: Everything will be answered in time. *evil chuckle***

Bella-

Alice parked her bright car next to Carlisle's, who I assumed was Jasper pulled up beside her in the midnight glossy black bike. A black helmet covered his face completely, along with black gloves, and a sleek leather jacket. The fancy car's door opened and Alice suddenly had her arms around me. Without my control I was hopping up and down, and Alice's little screams of happiness rang in my ear. I couldn't help but giggle.

"Alice, don't break her." She pulled away to glare at her husband that was now helmet-less, and slowly walking forward. She gave Carlisle a tight hug, beaming brightly.

"I'm glad to see you two in person. It's been to long. " Carlisle walked forward, giving Jasper a manly hug.

"It's great to see you." And I found myself hugging Alice again, this time of my excitement. I pulled free from Alice again after a few moments, and looked shyly at Jasper. "Can I hug you?" Jasper ducked his head and nodded. My feet carried me swiftly as I wrapped my arms around his torso, hugging briefly but tightly.

"Let's go in and sit down." We held open the door as they walked in.

"Nice bike Jasper." Alice's eyes were wide as she paused in sitting down on the couch. Jasper slowly turned to meet my eyes.

"You like it? Alice absolutely _loathes _it." He sat next to her smirking.

Carlisle sat in the chair, gently pulling my hand so I sat on his lap. "I miss mine, I left it in Forks when I moved. Wouldn't fit in the truck with all of my stuff. I haven't been back yet to visit."

"You have a motorcycle Bella?!" Alice's hands went to her hair.

"Yes." I managed out between my giggle fit, Carlisle's chest was shaking in silent laughter.

"Alice, Bella can own what she wants, she likes it. She isn't little Bella anymore." I ducked my head away from him. Ever so slightly embarrassed at how his words made me feel.

"Seems the same. Besides the age difference, which by the way you look lovely Bella. Turned in to quite a woman." Jasper winked at me, and Carlisle growled low in his chest.

"_Carlisle."_ Alice said, seemingly mortified that she heard the always calm Carlisle growl. But her husband was in a fit of rolling laughter.

"What do you mean I'm the same?" I didn't want to be the same, I had done so much to change from the girl I was with Edward. I didn't want to be like that.

"Blushing, and crushing hard on Carlisle." I froze completely. "Don't worry, Carlisle is the same too."

"How...?" Carlisle and I said at the same time.

"You learn alot when you sit back and watch things. Also helps to be an empath, I always knew you loved each other in more than just friends way. I just didn't know how much it was, until now. Cleary your mates." He looked over to Alice. "I told you so." He crossed his arms, and smiled cockily.

I already knew that, but it was nice to have it confirmed. I wondered, for a moment, what would of happened if we had acted back then. My phone rang abruptly, and I launched myself up. The song "_Cleaning this Gun"_ ran through the house signalling that Charlie was calling. I skidded to a hault in the kitchen, where I found my phone on the counter. "Hey Dad." I slowly walked back into the living room.

"Hey Bells. How you doing? How was the visit from your Mom?" His voice sounded happy, so hopefully Renée hadn't told him anything. Still I looked worriedly at Carlisle.

"I'm doing great, hospital here is doing pretty good. Always busy, which is good or bad depending on how you look at it. Mom was Mom. It went good." I paced behind the couch as the vampires stared at me.

"Yeah she called me. Told me she met your guy. " I froze completely.

"Charlie! Damn it be nice to her." Sue's voice said in the back ground.

"Yeah.." I answered trailing off lamely.

"When do I get too? I understand letting Renée know him first.. She's a little bit.. More open."

"Meaning she's for Gun Control." I said brightly. He huffed.

"You know kid, one day, you're gonna give me a heart attack. At least tell me something more about him." I groaned internally, and left the room, running up the stairs. "Bells?"

"I'm at his house. Didn't feel like talking bout him, in front of him." I answered a little angrily.

"Why don't you just let me talk to him then?"

"Yeah, no. Okay, so here's the basics. He's a doctor, new at the hospital. He's good man, you'd like him, and sometime when I can get vacation time that matches his, we'll come up to visit. Ch-Dad.. I love him. And it's more than just a silly crush or some stupid highschool love. I'm a grown up now. I know what right, and whats lies. That's all you should have to know for now." Carlisle and I had been together for nine weeks now, it was still fast, but I knew in my heart it would last. Like Jasper said, we were mates.

Charlie sighed heavily. "Thats good enough Bells.. What's his name?"

"I'm not telling you." Oh god.. What do I say?

"Why the hell not?" Oh ...

"Because you'll run his name and just _try _to find some thing on him. So, I'll tell you more when I'm back home. Maybe I'll come down before him."

"Easter's coming up. Sue is planning on having a dinner here, it'd be nice to have you." I smiled, if anything I could say that Carlisle couldn't get the time off. I was happy I'd be seeing my father soon.

"Then I'll get the time off."

"Call me when you know for sure."

"Kay." And he hung up. He was never much for goodbyes or I love you's, but I knew he did. I looked up from my seated position on the bed to lock eyes with Carlisle.

"I'm sorry this is so complicated." He knelt in front of me, taking my hands in his.

"That's okay honey. Life isn't easy. We'll find a way to make it okay. I'll go up there on my own, talk to him about you first. Then you can come on up." He nodded, and kissed me softly. Suddenly there was a cough coming from the door way.

We jerked apart to see the smiling Jasper, and Alice in the door way. "It'll work out." Alice confirmed with a rapid little head-bob.

"One should never bet against Alice." I said to him with a smile.

We went back down stairs, this time I sat next to Alice, and Jasper and Carlisle stood talking. "So, where are you guys staying?"

"Oh, we bought a house a few miles past Carlisle in the middle of no where. " She went on to talk about all she was going to do with it. Color schemes, and new furniture, and I felt like I was more than a little bit less adequate to speak to about it. Esmé surely would have held a better conversation, then one of those moments I hated but my brain did anyway began to compare me to her.

I was frowning internally, because I wasn't really winning in that race. All that I remembered Esmé as, was that she was like.. Snow White. Caring, happy, and lovable. Carlisle's voice was suddenly in my head, as this wasn't the only time I had thought this way. After our first night together, I voiced my worries.

_How? How can I be with you when I was with her? How could I not? She.. Was like a ray of sun. Bright, warming, and happy. But blinding all the same. She burned to bright, and I was lost in just being her husband. She wasn't right for me. And you. Your like a moon beam. Dark, beautiful, and brilliant. Just enough light to lead me to you. Guiding me in one of my darkest times. _Then he had kissed me, and we had made love again. Crushing my worries completly.

Yet they were back again with Alice. I answered in 'Ahuh's, or 'That sounds pretty'. I didn't offer new ideas or know how to do it better. I felt something brush against my skin, and it took me a moment to realise that it was an emotion. Confidence. I smiled, and sent some gratitude his way.

They stayed for hours, and we talked about anything we could. Carlisle ordered me take out, and we played a game of Monopoly. Jasper one of course, and I told him we had yet to have that rematch of Chess. He was shocked that I remembered, sense it was the summer before my birthday that I ever played him. I had gotten better, and in our spare time Carlisle and I played. I felt like I had a chance against him.

Well, that didn't go on for very long. I told him two out of three games, and he won, but damn it I won once. That was all the mattered to make me delighted. We had a good night, a much-needed night of finally getting back together after so long apart.

The days again went by, and though careful planning I had the Thursday, and Friday before Easter weekend off, along with the Monday after, while Carlisle only managed the weekend. After work in the following days, either we would go to their house or they would go to ours. I even helped Alice pick out which furniture to buy, and now that I had the colors in front of me, began to understand why Alice liked all of this.

It was fun deciding what to do with rooms. The house was _huge_, modern, and open. With five bedrooms, and an office downstairs. "So, how would you like to do you and Carlisle's room?"

"Alice we don't need one."I shook my head at her.

"But what if you want to stay over one day?"

"You really want to keep this house? Even though it's drenched in sun? I kinda thought you'd sell it once you got it fixed up." She frowned slightly, but then smiled looking out the window to where Jasper worked on the porch.

"He likes it here." She said so softly I almost didn't hear it. It was one of those moments, that shouldn't have been private, but it felt like it was to any bystander. They leveled each other out so perfectly.

"So do I. How about a dark gold?"

"For what?" She asked, looking away from him.

"The room color." Alice beamed as she flipped through her big book full of paint colors.

"Something like Horse Drawn Carriage or Modern History?" She pointed to to the colors as she named them.

"Hmmm.. No more like, Caramel Gold. I like that one. With Ebony field as the trim." She hummed thoughtfully as she tapped the order into her ipad.

"Your pretty good at this you know. Your room will be on the left far side of the house.. By ours. Then it goes Emmett and Rose.. Then.. Well.. I'll always have a room for them. " Her voice got lower as she spoke.

"After I visit my Dad, and things calm down a bit. Do you think you can call Emmett? I'd like to see him, but I'm not sure if I want to see Rosalie. Only because I don't know if she'll tell Esmé and Edward, and I'm just _not_ ready for that."

"I can understand. Never have gotten along well with that stoney blonde Barbie. You know she called me a twelve-year-old boy once?" Her elven face was completely mortified.

I snorted, trying to stifle my giggles. She was slightly right if you were planning to insult Alice. She was thin to extremes, and very sort. Her hair, which most didn't think was an issue to her, but to Alice was huge, was shortly cropped, and if no perfectly styled did look like a boys cut. Alice didn't like her short hair, but worked with it. She may of not remembered when the asylum cut her hair off, but the emotion behind it was still there. "Bella!" She hit me with a pillow and burst into giggles.

"I'm sorry! It's just a little bit funny, come on, admit it." I sobered up as she crossed her arms and looked away. "Maybe she was just jealous, she's awfully tall, taller than most girls, maybe she envied you for being so girly." And there was Alice's smile.

"Your perfect you know. Just right in size, such pretty hair and jaw line. Carlisle is so lucky to have you. I saw the tension between them, but I always thought they would work it out. I'm glad they didn't. You both look so good together. "

"Thank you Ally-cat." My flashed to the porch nearly finished, and the setting sun behind it. "I better go pick Carlisle up honey." I stood up, kissing her cheek.

"Love ya!"

"Dido sis."

Easter would be here soon, and would only be the beginning of the drama, with a heavy sigh. I went to go get my man for some peaceful time before there wouldn't be much time to ourselves.

**AN: This chapter had alot of dialogue, bonding time, and the introduction to MORE drama. How do you think Charlie will react to Carlisle? Next chapter you will find out my lovies! **


	17. Chapter 17

**Authors Note: Here we go! Love me for updating so quickly, and it being an actually long chapter!**

**Warnings: This chapter gets a little graphic in the flashback, nothing to bad, but it does depict the aftermath of rape. If your sensitive to that, just skip over the **_text that looks like this. _**But I promise, it isn't graphic **_**graphic. **_**Can always skip if it gets to be to much. **

Carlisle-

Having part of my family back in our lives was something both of us needed greatly, and I was stunned at how well Alice and Jasper took the adjustment. I had my doubts that they would be so... For us. I had thought, that maybe they had seen me with Esmé for to long and like wise with Bella and Edward. I should have known they would be understanding, but I knew different from Emmett and Rosalie. I had a feeling, a rather unpleasant feeling, that they wouldn't be so nice.

Rosalie, had never liked me. Not from the moment I turned her, or from when she knew me as a human. Bella did not know Rosalie's story, and I was not going to share it. Only give her more reason to hate me.

_A sweet, nearly sickening sweet smell of blood blew towards me in the winter air. I knew the scent, but couldn't place it for sure. To much blood, far to much blood. My body shot forward instantly stopping my casual pace and moving as fast as my enhanced vampiric muscles could take me. There lying in the snow and cobblestone, flakes falling on her, was a heartbreakingly broken Rosalie Lillian Hale._

_Thats the scent, I had seen her at several parties and last summer wrapped an spraned ankle for her. She was, nearly, unrecognizable. Her face was bruised and bloodied, and her clothing was torn away from her, barely covering her. Blood pooling around her, a fallen angel in true form. She cried, silently she cried. I could smell her tears as I knelt by her side. My dead heart broke into a million peices. _

_Such a life wasted. She was beyond saving, after checking her wounds I knew that was for sure. She had been stabbed, repeatedly, and by the smell, several men had violated her. Instant fury consumed me, but I closed my eyes and refocused on what was happening in this moment. Her heart, it was still beating. I gently touched her face, and she opened her eyes. "Are you here to take me?" Her voice rasped out, more than likely lost from her screams left unheard. _

_Even in her pain, she was stunningly beautiful. A flash, a wicked flash of a hopeful image crossed my thoughts. This beautiful girl alive and happy with Edward. She could get a second chance at life, a long life. I had never wanted to change someone for this reason. For Edward it was loneliness and the begs of a dying woman, for Esmé, it had been love. For Rosalie it was to give the precious girl a second chance with the hopes of her being with a boy that matched her beauty. _

_But should I? Would she want this? After going through such pain? Her heart beat was weakening, and for a fateful moment of panic, it skipped a beat before stuttering back to life. Her heart decided for me, she was a fighter, and I'd give her that second chance. _

_"I'm so sorry for this darling. The pain will stop in time." I made quick work of sinking my teeth into all of her pulse points, pushing the venom in as quickly as possible. I pulled her up into my arms, and disappeared into the night. _

Esmé and Edward had been furious that I changed her. Edward wanted nothing to do with the 'spoiled child.' While Esmé was angered I brought a woman into the home that may of not wanted to live after such an event. But no ones anger could match Rosalie's.

After she had gotten her revenge on her rapists, she merely stayed with us to gain her control over the blood lust. Esmé came around, and mothered her instantly. Giving in to all of her wishes. Only later did they truly bond once each other learned they wanted a child. Rosalie and Edward never did come around though, they both thought the other was spoiled.

Would of been humorous if it wasn't so stressful at the time. Then, then she found Emmett. She begged for me to change him, for her, to give her something for dooming her to this life. I couldn't have said no, not to those words or the look on her face when she spoke them. I still thought, even though impossible, that a tear fell from her eye.

After he was turned, she softened so very much. Instantly protective of him, but soon learned Emmett never needed protection. But it wasn't without bumps in the road, Rosalie was still very broken. It took her awhile to fully trust him, to let him love her. At times I thought it wouldn't work between them. Now though, I couldn't imagine a Rosalie without an Emmett.

She tolerated me over the years, but never really spoke to me. I tried my hardest to, but she.. She just didn't care what I had to say. I sighed heavily. I wished I could sleep nights like these more than ever.

Isabella lay beside me, sleeping peacefully, and here I lay glaring at the ceiling remembering different times. Tonight was the last night Bella would be in my bed, she would be leaving for Forks in the morning. I was petrified for Charlie to ever find out about me, but it didn't seem fair to have Renée know and for him not to.

I just wish I could have been with Bella before Edward, or no Edward at all. But that was impossible, and there was no hope in day dreaming things that would never happen. I was friends with Charlie in Forks, he was a good man and had always stood up for me when no one else did. They didn't have any reason to, and neither did Charlie, but he still did. He saw something in me, and suddenly made the town feel the same way. It was always scary, going into such a small town like Forks and where rumors spread like wild fire. Charlie just seemed to stop that with a single glare though.

Besides Mrs. Stanley that is, she always gossiped, but I bet she didn't gossip about how she attempted to get me to cheat with her. On several occasions. I enternally shuddered at the memory. Sometimes I hated perfect recall. What had me more worried than Charlie, was Sue his wife.

Sue Clearwater, now Swan as of last year, was once the wife of one of the tribes elders. From Bella's information on her, had two kids with him, that are shifters. Yet Bella didn't know if they were still phasing. The last thing I needed was to be chased out-of-town by the wolves. Another fear that had came to my mind, if Sue knew about shifters and vampires, did Charlie? Did she hide it from him, or tell her husband what her children were? I hadn't asked Bella or brought it up. I didn't want to worry her for no reason. I could only pray, that the tribe was smart enough to only let him know about the wolves. Not vampires.

I would only have the weekend, so maybe I could get away with only being there Saturday, and not being there on actual Easter. I would miss Bella terribly though.. It would be the longest separation since she had come back into my life. I ran my fingers through her hair, before I shifted closer to her, pressing a kiss to her temple.

All to quickly Bella was taking hold of her roller suitcase, no doubt given to her by Alice, and standing outside of the car. I being trapped inside by the sun, felt rather useless. She leaned down into the open window smiling. "Why are you smiling for?" I crossed my arms and pouted.

"Your cute when you pout. I'll call you as soon as I can, and we'll talk for hours. Don't worry. It will be okay. Now kiss me, sparkles." I smirked at her, pulling her a little further inside before kissing her roughly. Not even asking before my tongue moved into her mouth, memorizing her taste before I would have to go without it for _days. _I didn't know how I would survive. We broke apart and she panted, forehead against mine. "I love you."

"I love you." She pulled away, smiling at me, although a little sadly. She quickly turned and walked inside. Almost painfully, I started the car and pulled away.

The ache in my chest got worse the further she was away from me, and the longer she was. Doing my rounds was nearly unbearable without her. I kept thinking about what she would say or do, or how the nurse taking her place for the time being was far to slow. By the time the day was over I was nearly dying, it hurt, physically painful, for her to not be near. Thoughts of everything that could be going wrong, of how she might be hurt and that I'm not there to help her. The raced around my head, to many ideas, to many scenarios, to much _everything. _

I was being mean to the nurses, well not mean, just unfriendly. I overheard Laurie-Ann mumble that we were exactly the same. It confused me a little until later I head the group of women Bella nor Zoey ever talked too chatting at break. About Bella, apparently she wasn't exactly friendly to them, and a little harsh when I wasn't here. Strange, I never thought she could ever be mean. I sighed thinking of all the ways she was good, and reminded myself of one of the vampires in that damn shower she made me watch.

I didn't know I was at Alice and Jasper's until Jasper tapped on the window, smirking at me.

"Wanna go for a hunt buddy?" His lips twitched, as if he was trying to stop himself from laughing and I wanted to punch him. That was enough to push him over the edge, and he chuckled before stopping himself. "Come on Carlisle, I guess it's time we had the talk."

"What talk? Tell me how to make it stop, I'm going to go mad. " I said, my accent coming out a little bit, I frowned to myself and coughed. Leaving the car and starting to run to the nearest hunting grounds, I took notice that it was night now, an inky dark blue sky with bright stars. There wasn't city lights for miles, and I could suddenly see why Bella liked it so much here.

"The mate talk." He suddenly stopped, sitting on the ground, gesturing for me to sit in front of him.I huffed, sitting down. "It's rather hilarous, having to you know. I've always came to you for guidance." He looked up at the sky, smiling wistfully. "You never loose your temper, never once have I heard you growl. Lord, I wish I would have made you two face your feelings back then, would have been such a show." He grinned at me evilly. "I respect you Carlisle, and I respect you mate too. She's fearless, strong, and caring, natural leader, just like you. You both would willingly die for someone you loved. Thats.. a rare quality."

"Shes wonderful.. " I breathed deeply, glad that he was using his gift to calm me.

"With you both being so close, in temperament, personality, and as _close_ as you have been the past weeks, it's not really shocking."

"What isn't shocking?"

"That your experiencing the withdrawal so hard. It's always hard being away from your mate, but the first time.. When Alice and I first came to you, we had been together, not separating at all, for five years before. Then the first time we were apart was when she hunted with Esmé, remember I took off after an hour? I went fucking _batshit crazy _about her being away from me. You know my head had made me think 'What if Esmé is secretly a lesbian, and tries to take her from me?' to _aleins invading and taking her. _Not even going to tell you how it felt when she went on her damn week long shopping trip the first time." I chuckled even though it sounded much to like what my head was going through.

"How did you make it stop though? At the hospital I very well felt like I was going to have a heart attack or something. "

"I always thought that she can handle herself, and that I trust her to make it back to me. It get's better, I promise Carlisle it get's better. "

"But she's human.. She-"

"Oh have a little faith in her. She carries a taser and a bic, she'll be fine." I looked at him puzzled, I never knew she had a taser.

"How do you know that?"

"I gave them to her." Instantly wicked thoughts that Jasper liked her in an inappropriate way invaded my head, apparently Jasper felt the jealousy because he was practically rolling with laughter."_Relax!" _He calmed himself from his chuckles before he spoke quietly. "She looks like my sister you know."

"She does?" I asked softly. Jasper rarely spoke of his human family, and I knew that it hurt him too.

"First time I noticed was when I went to her house, I was going to go against you, you know. " A memory of all of us gathered around a table, _"She's a threat to us. I can take her out, make it look like she has a worse concussion" "No. The girl will not be harmed." _ I shook my head from the memory. "She was asleep, and so peaceful, innocent. I never remembered what my little sister looked like, but when I saw her like that, I remembered. I remembered telling her stories to get her to fall asleep. I just wanted her to be safe, so don't worry so much. Come on, let's actually hunt. " Jasper leaped up, brushing dust off, and with a sharp nod he was gone.

For an empath, Jasper was still very uncomfortable sharing his emotions with others. Tonight must of been alot for him, and I was very thankful to have a brother like him. Brother. He had always been my brother, not my son.

After a brisk hunt, my cell phone rang, and I nearly started dancing. Jasper chuckled, shaking his head before disappearing. "Bella?"

"_Hey. _I've missed you so much, I'm about to loose my freaking mind." I smiled, glad I wasn't alone in this.

"You have no idea what I've been going through.. It's not the same at the hospital, without you. It's not the same anywhere without you. I don't think I can bring myself to go home." I kicked a rock laying in front of me.

"You saying I'm special or something?" I could practically see the smirk on her face, and I desperately wanted her in front of me.

"Something like that." I leaned against a tree, staring up at the sky. "Did you talk to your father?"

She sighed, the sound rattling in the receiver. "Yeah I did. You know, I should learn to never underestimate Charlie. He said he had a feeling that it was you.. Can you believe that? I just.. I can't. "

"I can't either. Other than that, how was his reaction? Should I purchase a bullet proof vest?"

"Like you would need it, but no, I don't think so. Charlie.. He hasn't seen me happy, not like this, in a very long time. I think he's just glad I found someone, and he's always trusted me. He's really talkative though, keeps asking me questions. Feels like I'm on trial for murder. And.. Don't freak out.. Please don't like spaz or something but-"

"I do not spaz. "

"You kind of do. You panic, and just don't. Okay?"

"He knows doesn't he? His wife, she told him?"

"How did you know that?!"

"I thought about it since you told me, but _I _didn't want _you_ to panic. Does he know..."

"He doesn't know what you are, but he knows that you aren't human, and that the wolves really dislike you. Leah and Seth are not phasing anymore. Seth it here, I feel old. I used to babysit that kid and know he's nearly _nineteen. _Leah is in college but she'll be down for the weekend. You'll like them, I think. I.. On easter I believe Billy Black is coming over, and his daughter, Rachel with her husband, Paul. I don't like Paul, I never have. In fact I broke my finger on his face once. But that's for another story. He isn't phasing either, so he should be calmer. From what I can gather, Jacob is the only one still running around as a giant wolf. Which is strange.."

"Why?" I asked, frowning. I had a feeling he was anyway. Let him try something, I dare him too.

"He only ever talked about how he wanted to be normal, to never have it happen to him. That the supernatural never existed. I just thought.. That would stop first chance he got. Guess I was wrong about a lot of things with Jacob."

"Are you doing okay being there? I know it can't be easy.. With all the memories in Forks." I was worried that the memories might hurt her, and have it be too hard to stay in that town. If I was Bella, I don't think I would ever be able to step foot in the town again.

"Memories? Like nearly dying, and ending up in a to bright ER room, with doctor that nearly made my heart stop?" Her voice was playful, and flirty. I felt foolish when I grinned to wide, and looked down to the ground.

"I guess there's some good ones too."I ran a hand through my hair. "Would you do over again? Moving to Forks if you knew the outcome?"

"In a heartbeat." She stated without hesitation.

"Why?"

"Because Forks lead me to you. Would you do it over again?"

"No. I wouldn't, because I would want to save you from that heartbreak. I know that fate would have brought us together anyway. "

"You know, your awfully sweet." I laughed, her voice was sleepy and I had a feeling she was laying down."Stay on the phone with me until I'm asleep?"

"Of course. What do you want to talk about?" I leapt lightly up, sitting on a limb, my back against the trunk of the old tree.

"Tell me a story." I hummed, thinking over what I could tell her.

"There once was a boy. He wanted nothing but to make his father happy, and have pride in him. Wanted to be like his father, but at the same time believed the things his father did where often wrong. He hoped, that if he did end up like him, he would do it better. His father was a pastor, during a time of religious and political upheaval. His mother died giving birth to him. His father believed in ridding the world of evil, hunting witches, werewolves and vampires. Leading groups to kill them, however, these groups would end up killing innocent citizens. As his father aged, the boy took over the raids. He was less at ease about killing as his father was, but he had enough determination, to find a real coven of vampires inhabiting the sewers of London. He didn't want to kill innocent people like his father, he wanted to kill the real monsters. But he was a human, and faster than the others, only being twenty-three. He was ahead of them, instantly being out numbered by the monsters with red eyes. One bit him, but as the group came, the vampire was forced to let him go, and the boy hid. He didn't want to die, but he feared of what he was becoming... " I contuined on, even though I knew she had fallen asleep, I still spoke, because I had never told her my story. Edward had, and it felt wrong that I hadn't gotten that chance too.

After another horrible day without Bella, I was again at the airport. It had just turned twilight and I was safe to board the plane. I would be landing in Seattle, and taking a small plane to Port Angeles. It would be nearly one in the morning when I would arrive in Forks. Charlie had offered to come pick me up, and Bella was forced by him to stay at the house. It would be an hour-long drive.. Alone with the Chief of police. Not ever safe when you dating his daughter, but my chances went even more down when I happened to be her ex boyfriends 'father.' It would be with worth it though, to earn his trust.


	18. Chapter 18

**Authors Note: Next chapter will be Bella and Carlisle's point of view, to show the drive down to Forks. But this chapter, is all before he gets here. :) **

**Bella-**

Again, my only carry on besides my suitcase that was helpfully tucked up in the above space by the flight attendant, was my parka. Forks was going to be the same rainy town with a modest population, with the same constant cover of clouds. And I still loved the heat of Phoenix. It was true, I still detested Forks, but it had taken a place in my heart that I never thought it would have ever held.

I don't know how I walked away from Carlisle, I wouldn't have been able to if I had looked back a single time. It was silly, I would see him soon, but I was just to used to seeing him all the time. That must be it. I sighed staring out my window seat. I had always loved flying, though I was terrified of heights, I found it peaceful to be among the clouds. I closed my eyes, music of my iPod filling my ears as I drifted off to sleep, where my dreams whirled of Carlisle.

I was startled awake by a kind hand on my shoulder, the flight attendant man who had put my bag away from me. I pulled the music from my ears and smiled. "Have we landed?"

"Yes miss, I'll get your bag down for you." The plane, as I looked around was nearly empty, but it hadn't been full in the beginning anyway. He easily got the bag down for me, and gave me what I suppose was a flirtatious smile before walking away to help someone else. How odd that my mind didn't even register what he looked like. I didn't think about other men now, not that I didn't find _Johnny Depp _or _Damon Salvatore _sexy, it was just the ones in person I didn't care about.

I rolled the expensive leather suitcase Alice had given me, along with a set of about a thousand varying sizes of bags which I held no need for. Alice still didn't understand why I didn't have more clothing that I did. I easily made my way through the airport before boarding a smaller plane that would take me to Port Angeles.

After flicking pages of an old magazine the plane landed, and I was again struck with déjà vu. Charlie was waiting for me in the sedan, that was Sue's. The door opened and he fast walked/half ran to wrap me in a bear hug. Charlie didn't hug often, but when he did it was the kind where you couldn't breathe, and thought a rib just touched your lung. "Hey Daddy." I hugged him back, just as fiercely. I had missed him terribly.

"Missed ya Bells." He pulled away and smiled a wrinkly smile. I noticed Sue standing behind him smiling, Seth pratically bouncing with excitement beside her. I instantly walked over to her, giving her a brisk hug.

I took a step back, and fully took in Seth. He was taller now, I used to be the same height as him, now he was a good head taller. His clothing was black jeans, and long-sleeved shirt under a _Korn _tee. His hair was to his jaw, and he was grinning hugely. "Holly hell Sethy, your a man!" I launched my self at him, hugging my brother tightly.

He laughed nervously, hugging me back. "Come on come on, let's get on home." Charlie pulled my suitcase with him, eyeing it, eyebrow raised. "Fancy." I laughed a little and help him put it in the trunk. I didn't want to tell him who gave it to me, I wanted to tell him everything when it was just him and me. Even though having Sue as a buffer might be a good idea, it was sort of personal.

Seth and I sat in the back, and Charlie kept eyeing me in rear-view mirror. "How's work at the hospital their going Bella?" Sue asked after a few awkward minutes of silence. Sue was a nurse at the small clinic on the reservation. The reservation had, at one point in time, refused to go to Forks General because they had hired Carlisle.

"It's going great. I've even made a friend."

"The doctor doesn't count Bells." Charlie said, tone laced with humor.

"Hardy har har. No, I mean an actual _female_ friend. I know, astounding." Seth chuckled.

"What happened to girls are way to dramatic?"

"Oh they still are. Have you got a girl yet Seth?" I grinned wickedly at him, cocking an eyebrow. I loved to pester him about girls, I found a sinister glee about it. Maybe it was finally having a _brother. _Not like Jacob when it was always a touchy subject, that is, before we became more than that.

I wasn't surprised to see Seth darkly blush, and Charlie trying to contain his laughter by faking a cough. Nor really Sue's knowing smirk. "Yeah, I have. Her names Vanessa. She's my.. ya know." He smiled sheepishly at me, saying the last sentence lower.

"She's a nice girl. Goes to Forks high." Sue said.

I guess imprinting was more common than the wolves had thought, everyone else had found theirs. Well, besides Jacob and Leah. "Well well well. Guess my little bro is all grown up on me."

"Nah, not really. I finally got the knew Halo, wanna play it with me tonight?" His eyes lit up, and he gave me the best puppy pout he could summon.

"Of course." He then began his nonstop talking of the game to how he had gotten a job at Newton Outfitters. I could always count on Seth to keep the topic off of anything to serious. Or just buffer till I could get Charlie alone.

Once I arrived home, I expected to not have a room of my own, but it turned out Charlie had built the kid a room out in the garage. Since he was still eighteen and living there, and Sue and Charlie hadn't moved in until they were married. He thought he deserved a little bit more space. So, my room was hauntingly still the same.

Same walls that I had painted with Alice, a dark green with a dark plum trim, to cover up the neutral yellow. The rocker in the corner, the bare book shelves since I had taken them all with me. The hamlet poster, the random bands I still sort of liked but had grown out of. The twinkle lights around my bed, that had the same dark purple comforter Charlie had purchased me the day I came here.

The desk that held the mirror, and all the pictures that were shoved in the corners. I gently took the one of Angela down, smiling at it. She was smiling widely, glasses nearly falling off her face, are arms clasped around each other. Horrid maroon graduation gown on both of us. I winced internally at the pictures of Embry, Quil and I. Jacob had been next to me, but I had ripped it off. There wasn't a single picture of the Cullens and I.

He had taken them all as well as them. I sighed heavily, flopping down on the bed. How was I to begin to tell my father how I just excepted them back into my life? I wouldn't tolerate it, not in the slightest, that is if I was in his position. Seeing his daughter go threw as much pain as I did, become so very useless. But it was Carlisle. _And Alice and Jasper. _I don't think I would mention them.. Oh I best just get it all out. No reason to be more of a liar.

"Bells?" Charlie's steady rap hit the side of the door as he leaned in the room. "Care to tell me 'bout your doctor now?"

My eyes went to the window, to see the sun was actually shining a bit. "Let's go to the porch. I need some air." The room was stuffy, and clouded with dust, an unpleasant old smell in the air. But if I was being honest, it was because far to many images were floating into my memory. Of Edward laying beside me for the first time, of him sitting casual in the window. Of Jacob hovering above me, and hot kisses. To screams of nightmares, and chest opening sobs. I quickly jogged down the stairs and out the back door, taking up one of the chairs on the small back porch.

The porch out looked the vast deep green trees, and I made my eyes blur them into nothing. Each time I took a walk in those woods something life threatening happened. Charlie sat beside me, silent, and waiting. I chewed on my lip a moment before beginning. "I wasn't doing to good. I know I said I was, but I wasn't. I was numb again, blocking everything out. Just doing things like I thought I should. You know the feeling, and don't say you don't Dad. I know you were never over Mom. Not until now." I didn't look his way, and he didn't comment. "What.. What Edward did, I thought he was my world, I was stupid, I know. I got past _him, _but you have to understand, I couldn't get over the others. I've always been alone. Quiet, and I don't make friends. I just don't. Not the kind that really give a damn about you. But I got them, and they cared, I thought that I had a place. I suddenly got siblings, and a best friend. "

"Bella-"

"Just let me get it all out, it will be easier this way. Your like me Dad, and I'm hoping you're going to understand. When Jacob... I didn't think I was worth a damn thing after he did what he did. To make everyone I ever loved leave me. I was stupid, and naïve. Dad, I'd like to say I'm sorry for everything that I've done to you. You've been the one there having to deal with me, and I'm not fair to you. " I met his eyes now, to notice that his were a little watery, while mine were already leaking.

"I know Bella. Trust me, I know. You didn't have to tell me so kiddo." He looked back out to the trees, jaw tight. "Is your doctor one of the Cullens? Is that why your bringing it up?"

I felt like I had the wind knocked out of me, and it took me a solid minute to recover. "I knew, the one day I'd run into them again. I wasn't lucky enough to fully evade them, but I never thought I'd run into one this way. " I smiled slightly, not making any eye contact with Charlie's now whipped around head. "The day was going normal as always, I was talking to the lead doctor about him being replaced, when the elevator opened. Doctor Carlisle Cullen was inside, and it nearly gave me a stroke. You see, I instantly though they all were back. But after Carlisle forced his card to me, asking me to call him to catch up, I learned much more. " I then repeated our cover story for why he and Esmé divorced, and I could see Charlie's understanding, the lie of how they were both to young. But I saw something else flash too. "I never thought.. " I sighed heavily. "I would have never thought in my wildest dreams I would have fallen for him. I love him. Not in the crush way, but in the.. Forever way. You must understand that I know how horrible it seems, to date the father figure of your ex boyfriend-"

"But he isn't his father Bella. And.. He isn't... You know, Seth has tried real hard. He's been good but sometimes things happen. The first time I saw him turn I nearly had a heart attack. I know things Bella, I knew things before you left, I knew things before Sue told me. I just didn't want to believe them. I practically grew up in La Push, how could you not think I would hear the same legends as you? But Carlisle was always a good man, I could see that. Caring so much for others the way he did, does, I suppose. I couldn't fathom that they would be demons or creatures, whatever. Sue says I 'can't' know what they are for real. " He huffed unhappily as I stared at him, in complete shock. "But I guess that's not what the treaty says, it says they are good. So I never bothered.. I don't know why, but when Carlisle told me.. In the hospital that day, when you went looking for Edward. He told me that you would be perfectly fine. The way he said it, it didn't just mean for your concussion. I knew he would take care of you. I've always trusted him."

"You've known.. All this time?" Charlie nodded, curtly.

"I also already figured that it was Carlisle.. " Charlie laughed, actually laughed. "Ya know, I even thought once, that you were like him. That it was a shame he was married. I kind of don't like it now though. Knowing all that's happened.. Just promise me Bella you'll keep going slow, not jump into things."

"Of course I will. Do you want to know anything else?"

"Do.. You know what they _are_?"

"Yes I do. Trust me when I say, that I would tell you, but I can't."

"If you told me you would have to kill me kind of thing?"

"I wouldn't." Charlie looked thoughtful before nodding. "I'll never underestimate you again by the way. Anything else?" I asked, desperate to suddenly get some sleep, or at least use that as an excuse to call Carlisle and explain all of this.

He turned a red color before stuttering out, "Y-your being safe right?"

"OH MY GAWD! YOU AND MOM ARE THE SAME!" I bolted up off the porch, through the door and stairs as Charlie boomed with laughter.

I shut the door behind me twisting the lock shut. I didn't bother changing, merely taking off my shoes and jeans before climbing into bed. I dialed Carlisle, staring at his picture for a moment before hand.

"_Bella_?" He answered, almost instantly. I practically melted at the sound of his voice.

"_Hey. I've missed you so much, I'm about to lose my freaking mind_."

I fell asleep with him telling me a story, one I recognized nearly instantly, and was little disappointed in myself that I had fallen asleep. The next morning, I had some how been tricked into letting Charlie pick up Carlisle. I had nearly choked on my bacon when he suggested it.

"Listen Bella, it'll give me sometime to get his side of things. I know you'll keep him away from me the rest of the weekend." Seth was silently chuckling, and Sue was biting her lip trying not to laugh.

"Dad.. " I whined my head hitting the table. "At least don't put him in the back of the cruiser." I said with a heavy sigh.

"Hmm.. I hadn't thought about that." Charlie looked off into space, over doing the whole day dream look and I promptly through a rolled up napkin at him. He laughed and batted it away. "What would you like to do today?"

"Don't you go fishin?"

"Best take a break now that your here."

"Leah will be here by noon. Maybe you guys can go down to La Push." Sue suggested, smiling kindly.

"I was going down there with Vanessa today, you can meet her." I grinned at him. "Just don't be to wierd."

"Weird? I'm not weird." I frowned, I was nice dammit.

"Whatever _sanguijuela amante. "_ I knew spanish, fluently, I had to, to be able to speak to the patients that didn't speak english. When Charlie frowned, I knew very well he didn't.

"Cualquiera que sea perro." I happily took a bite of my toast as he looked puzzled.

"Not fair, I don't know that much!" I smirked.

The rest of the day went fairly well, it was nice to be back home. The house looked better now, less of familiar but more _home. _Sue's touch to the house doing good, and it made me immensely happy to see what effect she was doing to Charlie. I wasn't lying when I had said that Charlie was never over my Mom. He didn't process it right, much like I didn't, but he finally found someone who was like him. Sue loved to fish, and hunt, she was a great cook, even got into the endless sports games he liked.

Yet she was a woman too, she could talk about hair and makeup like no other. I always liked her, and when Harry died, things just.. Fell together. They were great together, and I couldn't have had a better person to take care of my Dad.

La Push was... The same. Same pale sky, grey ocean and sand. I stayed far away from the fallen tree Jacob and I always sat on. Instead I focused on talking to Leah about her college life. Despite having a delay in education, she was doing wonderfully. She was studying to become a phyiscal therapist, and hadn't phased in over two years. Everything had returned back to normal for her, she was getting her periods again, her hair had grown back out, yet her muscled form had remained. Partly because she loved to work out, and run.

When Vanessa and Seth showed up, I couldn't contain my stupid smile. They were _great_ together. Vanessa was pale, and rosy cheeked. Her hair was a startlingly similar shade of Edward's. A dark bronze red, with brunette undertones. She was a senior at Forks High, and loved English. Leah and I nudged elbows and giggled at them like little girls when they walked off holding hands.

We were sitting in the sand, my knees were up, arms wrapped around them, while Leah was sprawled out staring at the sky. I was giving myself an internal peptalk about what I was about to ask. "Why is Jacob still phasing Leah?"

"I don't know. He doesn't talk to me about that. Why are _you_ still around vamps?" I smiled, she hadn't asked yet and I was a little shocked it had taken her that long.

"Leah.. Vampires have this thing called mates. You know from when I explained about Victoria, but I have a better understanding of it now. Rosalie and Emmett are mates, she knew from the moment she saw him near death. It's nearly instant.. But not, if that makes any sense at all. Alice saw Jasper, her very first vision was of him. She knew he was her mate, but they dated, like normal people before they even told each other." I peered over at her before continuing, she looked thoughtful. She had always thought the same as me, that if vampires tried to be good, then they got a chance, that they were people. One of the reasons that made her an outcast with the pack.

"From what I can tell, it's similar to imprinting, but on both sides. Esmé was not Carlisle's mate. Neither was Edward to me. Esmé never felt the same way Carlisle did, she couldn't forgive him for turning her. Edward was obsessed with me, for my silent mind. I have always felt connected to Carlisle, a kinship that couldn't be denied. We should have known back then, but there was to many things that wouldn't allow it." I chewed on my lip, a habit that had came back to me since my arrival back here.

"I wish I could.. Imprint or atleast find someone to date. I keep dating guys, but their nothing but jerks. I'm happy for you Bella. I am." She didn't look over at me, but I could tell she was nervous. "I've always liked Jacob.. I don't think I ever told you that. I've tried to get him to... Get back to him, but he won't. I love him.. But I can't get over how he cheated on you, and that if we got into a relationship, that he would do the same. " I froze completely.

"I know I may be.. One-sided. But I don't think you should try to be with him romantically. You deserve better than Jacob. I don't think he will ever grow up, he's far to jealous to. I don't want you to get hurt Lee-lee." She wiped her face to remove the tears that had barely started to drip.

"I know Bells. Let's get the fuck out of here." She jumped up, dusting the sand off of her before extended her hand to help me up. I laughed as she nearly lifted me off the ground. "Ya know. I always thought Doctor Fang was sexy." She hip bumped me before taking off down the beach laughing wildly.

"He's mine wench!" I ran as fast as I could after her, laughing as she let me tackle her fake fighting the entire way back to the car.

Back home, with Sue inside cooking, Charlie _helping_, and Leah and Seth playing video games I had some alone time. I walked outside, to the shed, where my beloved was being housed. It held good memories of Jacob and I, yet it held something more. It held my freedom, and youth. I missed riding it more that anything. I jingled the keys in my hand, before pulling the tarp off it, wheeling the bike out into the drive. I turned over the key, and kicked the bike to life, roaring instantly beneath me. I buckled the helmet, and went for a ride around town.

I paced my room, it was nearly midnight, and I still had an hour to wait for Carlisle to be here. Oh Lord.. Please Charlie don't be too bad. I sighed, my bare feet hitting the wood floors, when suddenly I heard the floor creak rather loudly. I frowned, looking down, the moonlight casting off just enough light to she a panel was slightly raised. I got down on my knees, trying to push it back down before stopping completely. _To loose. _I jumped up, grabbing the scissors from the desk, using them to pry the board the rest of the way up.

It gave way with a loud _crack_, and I winced, hoping no one heard. I moved the board away, peering down into the space. I pulled out my cellphone, turning on the flashlight app to look inside. There was a small piled of belongings that I had never placed inside. I gently pulled out stack of photos, my heart pounding in my chest, I fell back, hitting the wall. All of the photos I had taken of the Cullens.

Alice arms wrapped around my shoulders, as I took a self picture of us. Emmett and I, my arms around his neck as I took another. I had actually used the gift my Dad gave me, I liked it, and I wanted to keep my memories of them. Their was others, when Emmett had promptly taken the camera and decided to take pictures of Alice and I. I laughed, covering my mouth as I saw us do the _Charlie's Angels _pose, us being Alice, Emmett and I. Jasper had taken that one. Next was a family photo.

Jasper and Alice, Emmett and Rosalie, Esmé holding Carlisle's hand.. I winced at the sight, but shuddered at seeing Edward's arm around my shoulder. The next was a photo I flashed of Edward when I first got the camera. He was caught by surprise, and looked much like a stone. He bronze hair perfectly tousled, and his eyebrows raised.

"_Wait.. Will you show up?"_

_"Silly Bella, you really need to stop watching movies."_

I shook my head at the memory, the rest of the photos were missing. I remember Alice taking pictures of Edward and I, but they were gone. I couldn't help but be thankful.

I gently picked up the next item, a jewel case of a CD that I knew held Edward playing the piano. The next item was the necklace that Rosalie had given me, I had never even opened it, but Alice had told me what it was. I unwrapped the silver paper carefully, hands shaking. I pulled open the inner box, and gasped, dropping it to the floor.

It was the crest. The crest every Cullen wore, the one ring Carlisle wore on his right hand. This necklace was different from Alice's choker, or Rosalie's cameo. It was silver, but dinged with black, making it look old, and as I looked further, holding it in my hands, I realised it was a locket. I opened it gently.

_ Le sang nous lie, _

_bien que nous ne sommes pas, _

_nous sommes dans l'esprit._

Was inscribed on the right side, and on the left was Cullen written in bold fancy script. I put the necklace on, silently crying. I didn't know french, but I now knew something I didn't. Rosalie thought me as family, even though she never said it. Instantly depressed that I never got to know her, I made my decision about whether or not I wanted Emmett to come visit with Rosalie. I wanted her too, and I wanted to talk to her.

I was broken from my thoughts as I heard the familiar sound of the cruiser pulling up in the drive.

**AN: Spanish words: Seth- Leech Lover. Bella- Whatever **_**dog.**_** French- Blood binds us, although we are not, we are in spirit. **


	19. Chapter 19

**Authors Note: I really should update my other fic.. But.. **_**Carlisle**_**... And I had part of this written already, so why not finish it? (**_**something I actually planned on having from the beginning, omg, I know right!?)**_

**I hope I don't give you guys heart attacks from this chapter. But hey, it's really long again! **

**Note: Mind the headings. **

**Carlisle:**

I fidgeted from foot to foot, waiting just outside the small airport in Port Angeles. It was 11:56 pm, and I had gotten off the plane five minutes ago. I had never been one to fidget, always panicking on the inside, but apparently Charlie could bring out the frightened teenage boy in anyone. I looked up at the sky, clouded but not raining. I heard tires turning into the parking lot, I looked forward to see the cruiser pull in front flashing his lights once. He got out of the car, crossing his arms staring at me.

_Fuck. _"Hello Chief." I nodded in hello to him, slowly walking to the car. Bella had said he knew, not exactly, but he knew I wasn't human. Last thing I wanted to do was scare him. Or get shot. Either thing was possible really.

"For Christ's sake Carlisle stop walking like I'm a bear or 2-year-old child that's petrified." He rolled his eyes, opening the back door. _Oh no, was I supposed to sit back there? _My face must have betrayed me because he suddenly laughed. "Bella forbid me from putting you back there. But your bag can go back there."

I laughed, tossing the small black-leather bag from the same set that Alice had given Bella. I saw Charlie furrow his brow slightly before walking back to the driver's side. I briskly got in the car, and Charlie began to pull out heading back to the freeway. My knee bounced slightly, still fidgeting, and I forced myself to stop.

For _seven_ horrible minutes, it was nothing but silence. Just Charlie staring out the window, fingers clenching and unclenching on the steering wheel and me some how thinking that the man figured out a way to kill me. It was horrible, and I pitied any law-breaker that ever got caught by Chief Swan.

"How old are you?" He spoke suddenly.

"Um.. " My thoughts worked quickly as I tried to think of what answer I should give him, the lie, the truth, or my perpetual age. I sighed. "People think I'm twenty-eight."

"You look younger, always have." Charlie said quietly.

"I'm twenty-four, in looks that is." I looked out the window, not wanting to see the look on his face, but could still see it in the reflection of the glass. "I've been on this earth for three hundred and seventy-three years. "

Charlie's hand jerked, causing the vehicle to swerve slightly. "And I can't know what you are?" He said, trying to keep his tone neutral.

"I'm sorry, but no. Bella would tell you, or I would tell you, if we could. But it's for your safety that we're not." I looked at him trying to convey how serious I was.

He nodded his head, but his lips went tight. "What does that mean for Bella?"

If my heart was beating, it would have stopped instantly. I took a few unneeded breathes before speaking. "Bella.. Will change, one day. I won't keep her away from you, but she won't be able to.. Be around others that don't know like you do. Once she changes, it will take some time for her to be around you as well. But that won't be for a while."

"Change to like you? Pale and golden eyed? Cold? I've noticed, it's hard not too." _He knew just a little too much. _I sighed internally.

"Charlie, stop noticing things. _Please."_ He laughed without humor.

"I'll try.. I guess.. " It was silent for a few more minutes, he and I both needing the break. "How long have you loved her?" The question was so similar to Renee's, that it startled me. But I would have a different answer for this one.

"From the moment I saw her sitting on the exam table I've loved her Charlie. I didn't know why, but I've always felt connected to her. When I got to know her, I realised it was how alike we were. She would always talk to me every time she came over, about books, politics, art and work at the hospital. She was so.. Old. And please lord don't tell her I said that, she'll have Jasper beat me senseless, I just know it." Charlie laughed, this time genuinely.

"She was born middle-aged. Ha, she was always asking the craziest questions when she was little. Dad, why do girls like dolls? Dad, why are they playing with mud? She was only four. She never liked _anything_ normal kids did. She still doesn't. " He smiled, happy remembering his daughter. "I'm glad it's you by the way."

I frowned. "Me?"

"I'm glad it's you, not Edward, or Jacob, even the Newton kid. I'm glad its you over _anyone_, you're the only one I've ever trusted. Trusted enough to know that you wouldn't let anyone, or thing hurt my little girl. So don't let me regret it." I felt just ever so slightly cocky in the moment. _Ha! I won._ I don't know who I beat really, but I won. For the love of books I'm loosing my mind. "But I got a question." I froze instantly.

"I'll answer anything as good as I can." My hands turned to fists as I waited.

"Why did you leave her? I know it was more than just having to move. I know he told her something bad, something that she never told me." I thought for a few minutes, trying to correctly word how I was going to explain it all.

"An incident happened on Bella's birthday. An incident that told Edward we werent safe around Bella. That Bella wasn't safe around us. I didn't want to move, and as head of the family, we shouldn't have. But Edward is spoiled, and I am partially at fault for that. Esmé threatened to leave me, and I was so shocked from it all that I agreed to leave. Only to still have my marriage end. But it was a _very_ long time coming. I did forbid Edward from my home though. I didn't agree with his choices, and I didn't like not being listened to. I came back, once. To check on Bella, and she was happy. So I stayed away, I didn't want to upset anything in her life. Yes, Edward said some very _wrong_ words to Bella. I didn't know he did, I thought he had made it clear why we were leaving. At least I had told myself that as a comfort. I don't know where he is or I would have killed him already." My words turned bitter, very quickly.

Charlie was grinning, looking thoughtful. "When you find him, call me. I'd like to be there." I laughed, nodding my head. "Alright. Enough. Starting to feel like a woman with all this damn talking."

I sighed, I really did need to stop talking, but I had one question of my own."Can I ask you one thing first?"

"I suppose I owe you one." He said with a grunt.

"How bad was she.. When-"

"You abandoned her? She.. Wasn't Bella anymore. She woke up screaming.. I never want hear those screams again. It wasn't like anything I've ever heard, you would have thought some one was attacking her. She doesn't process things well, she never has. She's always been so.. Closed in, and when your closed in, like a book, it's hard to let people in. She let all of you in, and you tossed her away. I think you could imagine what that would be like." I was silent, as I looked away.

_"She feels more than normal humans do." Jasper said, laying on the couch in my study. "So deeply over things that she shouldn't feel so strong about. "_

_"Thats rare." I had said, staring away from him. Thinking of how truly rare she was. _

I shook my head, bringing myself from the memory. We had lapsed into silence, giving me more time to think about Charlie and all he knew.

He _couldn't_ know what we were. One thought of the word and if anyone _ever_ found out, Charlie would be dead, and possibly even us. It was how the Volturi did there work, how we got our fake documents. Knowing, but not knowing. Choose to ignore for your own good.

It was odd how the feeling in my chest should have been easing, since I was getting closer to Bella, but it just got worse. Some how, I felt like something was wrong. I felt like she was hurting. It was beginning to hurt worse, like someone was jabbing a hot fire poker to my chest. I gasped at the pain. "Charlie? Seth was there wasn't he? She's protected right?" My mind was doing the million things that could go wrong thing again, and I had to make sure she had _some_ form of protection.

"Yeah.. Why? Why would she need to be protected?"

"I just feel like something is wrong. I'm most likely loosing my mind, it's nothing." _I hope. _We just entered the town of Forks, flying past the sign as Charlie sped, spooked by how I was acting.

As soon as he stopped the car, I bolted from it. Attempting to stay at a very brisk human pace, absently thinking I should have waited for him to open the door, but the lock didn't break. I wasn't in too much trouble. I found my way through the house easily, although never having entered it. Bella's room was on the top floor, the second door on the right side. Charlie was following me, surprisingly keeping pace. Almost.

I smelt Bella's tears and I opened the door, rushing to the middle of the room. There she was, phone laying on the floor, pictures all around her. Tear streaked face as she held an object in her hand. "You hid them. They were here, all along. Right under my feet. You took everything from me." Her back was against the wall, a window right above her. She was looking at the bed, not noticing I was there. I moved slowly to my knees, taking her hands in mine, the CD falling into her lap as she looked up startled. She broke into sobs as she threw herself into my arms.

"Shhh.. Bella, it's okay honey. Please calm down." Charlie knelt beside me, picking up a picture, before sitting on her bed with a huff. Bella cried, like I had never seen her cry, and as I desperately looked to Charlie it seemed this was a thing he had seen very often. I rocked her gently, as she sat fully in my lap, the pictures only getting mildly crumpled in the process.

When suddenly she pushed away from me, standing up, back hitting the wall loudly. Rejection hit me hard, knocking the breathe out of me. "_You_, you let him! You let him ruin me. Why did you leave?"

"Bella-" Charlie began but I raised my hand. He didn't have to fight for me. Something was wrong, Bella was _not_ like this. We had talked about this before, more than once in fact. She had never been angry, a little hurt, but curious mainly. In a span of seconds, all of my medical training kicked in. The last week spun in my mind rapidly. Every single detail from morning to-night, to when she slept, comparing it to the weeks before.

_Work, home, or Alice and Jaspers, always ending in returning to my house to make love or sleep. _She was fine, nothing was wrong. But there was. _ Before_ work, something was missing. _Bella in the bathroom, three pill bottles, vitamins, and birth control. Bella in the kitchen on that very first day, vitamins and birth control. The past week only two bottles. _Bella only took one vitamin, she had been subscribed it when she was merely six years old. Low vitamin D, common in pale girls that tended not to eat very much meat. Birth control to lighten her periods. But what was the other?

Her head suddenly whipped to the side, staring at the corner of the room. "_You can't tell me what to do anymore!"_ She screamed it at nothing, _nothing_. Charlie winced, and I was frozen. _So I went to therapy.._ Bella had told me._ The screams.. She feels more than normal humans... _

"Bella.. Have you been taking your pills?" I spoke calm, and steady.

"_Don't_ use that tone with me. I'm not crazy. I'm _not_ crazy. I didn't need them anymore. You were back. Alice was back. I don't need them." She may of not needed them, but going completely off any medication with out slowly going off of it was always risky. That, and going back the place that _made_ you take the pills in the first place. My breathing was getting heavier, and I was panicking.

**Bella:**

I was broken from my thoughts as I heard the familiar sound of the cruiser pulling up in the drive. I looked up, and nearly fainted. There he was, sitting on my bed, in the last clothes I had seen him in. Eyes dark, the purple like bruises even more prominent under his eyes. Hair the same shade of copper bronze, always in perfect chaos. _No, this can't be happening again. He isn't real. _My breathing got quicker, and I squeezed my eyes shut tightly. _"You never listened to my CD I made you." _He whispered softly. My eyes snapped open, and my hands finding way to the jewel case.

"You hid them. They were here, all along. Right under my feet. You took everything from me." _He _was the blame for everything. He took them away from me, took _Carlisle _from me. I would have never treated my father the way I did, I would have never sunk so deep into depression I needed pills. I would have never dated Jacob Black. He would have never broke my heart and stomped on it. Cool hands suddenly grasped mine, and I fought back a scream, thinking it was Edward. I met eyes with my angel, my Carlisle, and I couldn't hold back the sobs.

I let myself give in as he held me, but the voice didn't stop. _His_ voice didn't stop, and neither did another's. _"He could have stopped me, all I needed was encouragement. But he didn't want me with you."_

_"Why would anyone want to be with you? Plain, skinny, bossy Bella, when they could have someone much better. Beautiful, curvy blon-"_

_"Don't listen to the dog, he wanted you, so he let me leave. He let all the pain happen to you. It's his fault, not mine. I left because I l-" _I jumped up, blindly fumbling backward till I couldn't anymore.

_"But he didn't even bother to stay! He doesn't want you!"_ I panted, falling forward, hands on my knees. "_You_, you let him! You let him ruin me. Why did you leave?" I asked, desperately.

"Bella-" Charlie cut off, and I didn't really care. I wasn't talking to him, and he shouldn't be here. But _he_ had moved from the bed, he was in the corner, staring at me the way he did across the cafeteria. As if he was trying to solve the puzzle that was me. But it wasn't me, it was my head. He wanted to solve the puzzle that was my head. Why was I doing this? I had done so good. I hadn't had _any_ of this happen. It only got this bad.. that.. that night. But Carlisle hadn't been there then.

"_I've had enough of this." _The other one who broke my heart disappeared, and Edward was left alone.

_"He isn't safe for you. Tell him you don't want him. Just think Bella, he's the reason-"_

"You can't tell me what to do anymore!" I screamed it out, fists clenching so tight I felt a sting of pain from my nails cutting my skin. Edward shattered, into a million, tiny pieces. I breathed deeply, all the havoc that was my mind cleared. Suddenly very aware of my surroundings.

"Bella.. Have you been taking your pills?" He spoke so calmly, so _clinical. _

"_Don't_ use that tone with me. I'm not crazy. I'm _not_ crazy. I didn't need them anymore. You were back. Alice was back. I don't need them." I never even told him I took them. It had been such a habit with me, that I never mentioned it. But the night Alice came back, I hadn't forgotten to take them the next morning, rushing to get to work. The next morning I had stared at the bottle. I wouldn't need them anymore, I had people who loved me, who I could talk too. I shouldn't have done it like that, I know. I was a nurse, I explained the things that couldn't happen if you didn't every single day. Yet I stilled flushed them.

"I think you need to tell him everything Isabella. You can't push everyone out all the time." Charlie got up, his voice was tight, and I could tell he was very angry with me. I swallowed, I had thought this night would have gone so much different from it had. The door shut, locking in place.

I stayed still, simply breathing, trying to stop my head from pounding to the beat of my heart. Carlisle stayed silent, still on his knees. I sank back down to my orignal position, gently picking up all of my photos, stacking them. I plucked the only that contained Edward, and set it aside.

"Do you still love him?" Carlisle asked so softly, that I wasn't sure if I was supposed to hear, but I did anyway.

"I looked all over for these. I knew it was hopeless but I looked, every single day. I just wanted to know that you were real." I pushed them to him, before picking up the family photo. "I hate this photo. I can't stand seeing you near her, and I can't stand his arm around me." I ripped in two, then again, and again, till it was nothing but confetti. "I started seeing him, besides in dreams, when I did something dangerous. Because he told me, for Charlie's sake, to be careful. I saw him, and I heard him. I latched on to it, because I wanted you all to be real. And because I loved him. I jumped from a cliff just to see him, and when I thought I was going to die, I didn't really mind. But Jacob saved me. Jacob always saved me from myself. Then he betrayed me, like every one of you did. You took your love away from me, when it was all I ever wanted."

I wasn't crying now, I had cried to much for one night, but when I looked into Carlisle's eyes, I thought he would. "We moved to fast Carlisle, but that doesn't mean I don't want you. I _love_ you. You are a part of me, and I'm a part of you. I hope you don't mind that I'm a little crazy, because I am. _Borderline schizophrenia, with a touch of bipolar. _I'm sure if I had said that you were vampires, I'd be in a nice padded room now." I looked down holding the CD to tightly.

"I don't care Bella, but all I've ever wanted from you is for you to talk to me, and you don't. I think you do, I think you tell me everything thats wrong but you don't. You need to let me in, I feel like I keep saying this, but I'll never stop, because I'll never give up in you." I nodded, bottom lip quivering. His words where _so_ sweet, and I completely believed them. Yet my past still wasn't behind me, even when I had tried so hard. I had ran, and I hadn't confronted.

"I don't feel like I deserve you, but I do. I deserve you. I've had shit luck with men, and I deserve to be with you so damn much. Because Jacob, I am sexy, and I perfect the way I am. I don't need you to save me, because I can handle my self. Edward, I don't need your caution, and your protection. One day I'll be indestructible, but until then, I have my fists, and my smart mouth. I don't need you, and I do not want you anymore. I _do _need you Carlisle, and I _want_ you. " Carlisle's entire face brightened, and he moved towards me, relief clear. But I stopped him. "I've never listened to this." I breathed. I stood up, bones shaking, I dropped the CD to floor. "And I never will, but it's my choice, it's always about my choice." I stomped on the disc, satisfied with the crunching sound it made. Carlisle, despite everything, began to laugh, as he picked up the remains of the disc.

"May I?" He asked, wiggling his eyebrow. I smiled, not really knowing what he was doing but agreeing to it anyway. He promptly closed his fists over the plastic, shattering it entirely. He then stood, wrapping his arms around me, pulling me flush against his chest.

I inhaled his smell, gripping him tightly. I had needed him so badly the past two days, and yet when he was finally here, I was a total wreck. I didn't feel embarrassed though, it was something we needed to work through. Because even though we were happy, and nothing would ever come between us. We were not perfect. The foundation of our relationship had just suddenly popped up. With no real blame or fights, with no drama. Life wasn't like that.

The door suddenly flew open. "If your done, you can go down stairs now." We broke apart instantly, and I looked over at Carlisle who looked rather frightened. "Did you really think I was gonna let you stay in the same room?"

Carlisle hugged me one more time, before 'sleeping' on the couch. I fell asleep nearly as soon as I fell on the bed. It was three am, and my body and mind was far to stressed. My dreams weren't too good though, dreams of Edward and Jacob attempting to physically pull me from the arms of Carlisle. I woke up at nine, still tired, but I couldn't stay in the bed any longer.

I couldn't stay in the house any longer, so I quickly dressed, and went down stairs in search of Carlisle. I heard the familiar banter in the kitchen, but what wasn't familiar was Carlisle being at the receiving end of it. I leaned in the door way, smiling as Carlisle leaned against the counter, Leah, Seth, and Charlie sitting at the table as Sue cooked.

"Soo.. " Leah began. "Do you guys play doctor-" Charlie spit his coffee onto the paper he was reading, and Seth fell from the chair, laughing.

"_Leah!" _Sue and I said at the exact same time. She shook with silent chuckles as she watched Charlie try to collect himself.

Carlisle was frozen, somewhere between shock and mortification. I walked over to him, grabbing his forearm, pulling him from the room. "I think I'm mentally scarred from this." Carlisle mumbled, and Charlie gauffed.

"Humph, dude, you're not the father that had a horrible vision of it." Everyone froze, and Charlie's face became unreadable.

"Oh my gawd. Please. Please. Tell me you hate him, be normal, and don't be friends. Because.. Oh my gawd that was too much information." My whole body cringed. He burst into laughter, and hid his face in the remains of his paper. "We're leaving!"

"What about breakfast?" Sue asked. I grabbed two muffins from the counter before grabbing Carlisle again, yanking him out the door.

"Where are we going?" Carlisle asked, taking my hand as I took a bite of my muffin. I chewed before answering.

"To my shed. I'ma teach you how to ride a motorcycle, then I'm going to make you ride bitch. Because only I drive Wonda." Carlisle's eyebrow rose in alarm, as I nearly choked from giggles and muffin.

"Is it wrong that I'm more alarmed over the fact that you named it Wonda, or that I'm riding 'bitch'?"

**AN: Fun fact, I wrote Bella's break down before I wrote the first chapter of this. I only left itty bitty clues to it, because I wanted it to be a shock. As a person that's.. been through suicide, from friends, and personal thoughts. You don't just go over the ledge without **_**a lot**_** of pressure. And it's always there, and is triggered by all sorts of things. Tiny thoughts or Bella sized outbursts. I've always thought Bella was just a touch of crazy to be seeing Edward, and I always thought it should have showed more into that. Because that just doesn't go away when someone shows back up. Happier chapters to come!**


	20. Chapter 20

**Authors Note: I love the reviews, and i read each and every one. If you ask a question I will reply to it :)**

**SO SORRY FOR DELAY! Writers funk.. :( And I've been sooo busy...thats a lie, i've been so lazy and just... Stuck. So I'll be updating all of my fic's within the next fews days. Sorry sweeties! If it makes things better, ALL my updates for ALL my stories will be really freaking long. :)**

**Warnings: Mild Lemonynesss, Language. Revenge.. if that could be a warning. :P**

**Life was a shadow**

**Until I knew you**

**It's sorrow's a silent**

**Crying for you**

**I stand defenseless**

**Deep in your eyes**

**Somewhere**

**Here in your love**

**I'm alive when you want**

**Everything changes**

**Everything's new**

**Baby I'm new for you**

**REEVE CARNEY - NEW FOR YOU **

**Bella-**

I was currently leaning against the wall, arms crossed and smiling as Seth attempted to teach Carlisle how to play xbox properly. "I'm a lost cause, this is just turmoil. I've tried to be taught before- Oh!" Then his character blew up, and he looked rather sad. I chuckled, moving my hand over my mouth. Finally one thing he wasn't good at.

He didn't know if he would spend the complete weekend here, but so far today had gone extremely well. Well considering how horrible his arrival had gone. The news hadn't spread to far yet, and for that I was glad. But unfortunately it had reached La Push. I sighed, thinking of what would happen tomorrow. Billy Black, his daughter Rachel, and her husband Paul would come over for dinner.

Leah and Seth began to play there game, while Carlisle watched carefully. Charlie's footfalls caught my attention and I looked behind me. He had talked to Sue in the dinning room. "Can I talk to you guys in the kitchen for a minute? You and Carlisle that is."

"Carlisle?" I called out, nodding in the direction of the kitchen. He gracefully got up, walking infront of the screen to make both of them scream loudly at him. He merely chuckled.

He sat next to me and I leaned forward. "Whats up Dad?"

"I talked to Billy early today, he said that.. He said that Jacob has been back in town for a while now, and is doing better. He was wondering if he could come over for dinner. Now I know-"

"Does Billy know I'm home?"

"Thats what I told him, and I also told him about you. I had to because I didn't want the kids getting in trouble for not telling him. He said he wouldn't come over unless Jacob was here, for protection, and to make sure of your intentions." Charlie's voice was becoming gruffer the more he contuined, his face turning red. "I 'bout told him exactly where to go-"

"But I took the phone." Sue said, shaking her head helplessly. "Those two, always fightin like a bunch of teenage girls."

"Charlie, I can leave, but I'd have to take Bella with me." Carlisle spoke calm, and level, looking straight into Charlie's eyes.

"Carlisle! Why? I want to spend-"

"There is no telling if Jacob is dangerous or not. That and.. I don't want him around you." Carlisle crossed his arms, his muscles flexing, bare from the short-sleeved shirt he wore. Driving me crazy, whilst ticking me off at the same time. I was tired of being protected, but I could understand why he didn't want to leave. I wouldn't want to be here anyway, not with Jacob in the same house.

"I don't want him around her either, at least not with you there. That's why your fuckin staying. Billy can deal with. Just don't break the house. 'Kay?" Charlie then took a drink of his beer.

Carlisle chuckled. "Oh lord. This is going to be some family visit." He ran his hands over his face, and through his hair. He was stressed instantly. I sighed, reaching over and taking one of his hands.

Charlie looked straight at, pointing a finger towards me. "If he does anything to make you upset tell me or Carlisle. No. Stay with me or Carlisle the whole day. I'll shoot the damn dog if I have too." I shook my head, letting it fall to the table.

"Well. At least there's no little kids to hide easter eggs for." Sue said, getting up again to take the pie crust out of the oven.

"Don't say that to loud. One of them might get knocked up." Charlie said in pure horror. I just shook my head repeatedly, and pulled Carlisle from the room. "Hey! The room stays open!"

"I'm twenty-three!" I screeched, and Carlisle ducked his head, embarrassed. I sat on my bed, and Carlisle walked around the room. Picking up things and looking them over.

"You were always such a strange girl." He mumbled holding up my _Count Chocula _bobble head. He looked out the window, smiling slowly. "Wanna go for a ride?"

"You actually liked it?" I said grinning.

"Yeah." He licked his lips and walked over to the bed slowly. "I didn't mind having you pressed against me like that for that long." And at the end of the ride, in the middle of no where we had pretty hot make out session that made us both feel like teenagers. He winked at me as he sat down.

"You know.. You could close the door... "I wiggled my eyebrows at him. He groaned, and fell backward.

"He's been to nice. If I defile his baby girl in his house I don't think he would be anymore." I laughed to hard, and my stomach hurt.

"Oh Carlisle... What are we going to do?" I layed down next to him.

"We're going to be fine. The little boy isn't going to do anything, if he does I'll handle it. Just stay away from him. If.. If you get to feeling bad-"

"Come to you, and talk to you about it." He smiled at me.

"I think it would be nice to start making time for us to just talk about that. Every week, just sit and talk. It's not like I don't have things to over come either... I have never been more alone than when the family broke apart. It didn't make any sense to me that I had lived alone for so long before them, but could barely function without them. I was just on autopilot, doing what I had to do. Fighting every instinct in my body to call you, visit you, _google _you. Anything to make sure you were okay, but I wanted you to have a human life. One I never had. From the day I was born it was all about the supernatural world, about saving people from it. I.. " He sighed, holding my hand. "I even thought of killing myself Bella. I thought I had done what I could, and I couldn't do it anymore."

I rose up, looking him in the eyes. He had never told me that before, nor had I ever thought he had those thoughts. I knew when he was first turned he wanted to, but never after that. "Why-"

"I was afraid. I know stupid, huh? You of all people I should have trusted it with. I'm sorry. " He leaned up and kissed me softly. "We both have issues Bella, so please let's start working on them."

"Agreed." I mumbled before kissing him again, pushing him down on the bed. It was only a few days, but it felt like it had been forever since I touched him properly.

"Better stop that before Charlie walks up here." I flew off of the bed, landing onto the floor with a loud thump.

"Leah!" I screeched, jumping up and running after her. She grabbed my hands as I went for her.

"What are you gonna do tiny girl?" I promptly kicked her shin, causing her to hop on one leg, grabbing it. "Oww!" I smiled evilly at her.

"Knock it off girls!" Sue shouted from downstairs. I glared at Leah.

"Keep her out of my room then!" I yelled back. She merely chuckled, and walked away. I sat with a huff at the edge of the bed. There was a horrible feeling of pure dread, threatening to overwhelm me. I hadn't seen any of the Blacks for so long, and the last time I had, it wasn't exactly the best of memories. I really wanted just one moment of alone time with Carlisle. I just wanted to forget everything before chaos happened. He took my hand, and I looked over at him.

"I feel like being a little sneeky." He said, looking towards the door as if someone could approach at any moment. I smiled at his paranoia.

"Like what?"

"When do you think they'll go to bed?"

"Early. So soon. Sue likes everyone up bright and early on holidays. Why?" I raised my eyebrows, trying not to grin to big. He looked over at me, looking completely serious, and some how so _so_ young. Like a little boy about to steal a cookie.

"Well.. I think we should take a visit to my old house." He leaned closer to me, whispering in my ear_. "I really wouldn't mind taking you on Edwards' piano." _

"_Carlisle!"_ I screeched, giggling madly. "I like that plan!" I nodded my head vigorously. He giggled once himself before kissing me briskly, standing up and leaning against the door, hands behind his back. "What-"

"Time to go to bed. You. Out." Charlie pointed at Carlisle's chest, then shoved his thumb in the direction of the stairs.

"Goodnight Isabella." Carlisle smiled, and walked out of the room. Charlie staring at him, shaking his head.

"He gets to call you Isabella without you death glaring?" I just shook my head, standing, and shutting the door. "NIGHT!" I called out, only earning grumbles.

After a very stressful hour of making sure I looked good, and that Sue and Charlie were asleep.I was nervous. I hadn't been in the Cullen house since my eighteenth birthday. I stared into the mirror, clutching the crest that hung around my neck, and traces it's lines. I looked pretty, I thought. I wore a black skirt I had packed just in case anyone made this a fancy occasion, which I should have known better. But I knew Carlisle would appreciate it. I jumped when the window opened. Carlisle gracefully climbed in, and smiled at me, eyes traveling to the necklace.

"When Rosalie asked me for permission to make you a crest, I was a little more than shocked. She told me, and I qoute, 'If she's really not going anywhere, she at least has to be a true member of the family.'" He took my hand and kissed it.

"I thought.. She hated me."

"Rosalie loves more than anyone, she just thought you deserved better. She wants to be human so badly." He sighed. "She's never liked me much. So her coming to me was more than just a shock because it was for you. She hardly ever talks to me alone. She wishes.. " He looked away. "Her story is her's to tell you, but I'll tell you one thing. She was on her last moments of life, and if I hadn't turned her she would have died. Her death wasn't of illness, and it was inflicted on her by others. She had many issues after she awoke.. She wished I had left her to die many many times."

"But she has Emmett-"

"She has Emmett, and she loves him more than anything else in this world, but sometimes love isn't enough to conquer all of our demons Bella." I chewed on my lip, a habit I had always had when I was thinking, and worried. Rosalie wasn't just a bitch, or stuck up, or shallow. She was just the opposite, and I felt angry for never knowing that then. "It was my mothers." He spoke so softly, his voice breaking on the mention of his mother.

I looked up instantly. "And you just gave it to me? A teenage-"

"A teenage girl who it belonged too. It's very much you, and I had even pondered giving it to you before, but thought it would be... inappropriate. Rosalie was my way of letting you have it. It's the only thing I took from my home, besides this, and my fathers cross." He held up his hand, glancing at his ring. "My father gave me this when I had turned eighteen. I found that necklace in my fathers study. Only thing he ever kept of my mother, I don't think he liked to think of her. I don't even know what color her hair was."

My eyes were stinging from the tears. "Oh Carlisle, I feel like you should have it-"

"But I have you, and it's yours. Please, I know you like it. You haven't taken it off." He grinned. "Besides, I like that you have my name in some way." Heat rushed to my cheeks, and I wiped at my face.

"What are you suggesting?" I asked, cautious.

"Nothing. Now, I believe we have a piano to defile." I snorted in a very unlady like way, and was promptly whisked up into his arms.

He carried me bridalstyle as we ran, and my head wouldn't stop working. Now moving on from the events of tomorrow, but to Rosalie, and to Carlisle sly slightly hidden, but not really at all attempt of approaching marriage. Atleast that's what I was thinking from the name thing. Or maybe he wanted me to get a tattoo of his name on my rear. Or maybe I was loosing my mind. _Marriage. _I never had thought much of it, not seeing it go really well for most of my life.

Renée and Phil were good though. Maybe it just mattered on the people. But wasn't it really just a piece of paper? I sighed. Alice and Jasper sure made it look great. They just _worked. _She made him lighter, and he held her to the ground. They were just sort of perfect, and wasn't that they same way with my mom and Phil? Renée always so flighty, and adventurous, Phil liking the same things, but keeping a level head about himself.

Carlisle and I were the same on nearly every level. Except I had a bit of a temper, but lately I've been realizing so does Carlisle. But at the same time, we each had something the other was all new to me. He wasn't controlling, he wasn't whining and brooding. I never had fancied the idea of marriage, but if it was to Carlisle.. I don't think I would mind. He began to slow down, and gently placed me on my feet once he was completely stopped. "Here we are."

"Hmm." I said, staring up at the massive house. "I thought it would.. "

"Be painful? Me too."

"Instead it's just so empty. It's just a house isn't it?"

"Just a big empty house. With no family in it.." I grinned at him, before running to the door and into the house. The door was unlocked, and I quickly rushed into the front room. I glanced at the place where the glass table used to be, surprised to see the white carpet was ripped up, revealing an awkward shape of wood floor.

"Blood lingers in carpet." Carlisle said shutting the door. "We left most everything here, besides me of course. Everyone else... Dosen't really have personal possessions. Jasper does, and Rosalie has a few, but for everyone else, anything is replaceable." That was rather sad, and I didn't want to be sad right now.

"Oh be quiet!" I through myself at him, lips pressing firmly against his.

He groaned, pushing me against the nearest wall. He lifted me up, and my legs wrapped around his waist. His hands traveled underneath my skirt, cool palms on my thighs as he cupped my bottom pulling away from me. "No underwear? What a naughty girl." He whispered in my ear before kissing my throat. I giggled slightly, he pushed off the wall, and the next thing I knew I was on the cool slick top of Edward's baby grand piano. "Lay back." And I did, my head hitting the piano just as his mouth moved between my legs.

I called out his name, my hand wound in his blonde locks. After a much to short amount of time, he moved back. His fingers moving rhythmically inside me, his thumb circling and pressing. "You're so deliciously wet." He mumbled, kissing my thigh. I barely heard him over the sounds of my own moans, I just couldn't take being teased. I wanted him, it had been way to long, and I wanted him inside of me now.

Apparently feeling the same way, his fingers were replaced. It didn't take long for us both to reach climax, and to start all over again. Only the next time was on the very desk Carlisle stitched me up on. It was good to forget, if only for a little bit. It was two am by the time we got back home, Carlisle tucked me into bed, and lay beside me until I fell asleep.

The next morning the house came alive at promptly 6:30 am. I really wanted more sleep, but I pushed myself to go get breakfast. Later I got dressed and did my make up. Carlisle sat on my bed, flipping through an old _Seventeen _maganzine, much to my amusement. I was just done, perfecting my mascara when the people began to arrive. I glanced at the clock, it was only eleven. "When's our flight again?"

"Mine is at seven, do you want to come with me? I was thinking you would have stayed another day." I got up, smoothing the front of my lilac shirt.

"I have Monday off, but I rather go home with you." I didn't want the chance of Jacob deciding to come over once he knew Carlisle was gone.

"Okay, I'll get you a new ticket." Carlisle phone rang, as soon as his words ended.

"Alice." We both said at the same time. He picked it up, and she promptly told him the tickets would be waiting in Seattle.

"Good, we can drive out there at four or four thirty." I did a little happy dance, as I heard the voices getting louder downstairs.

"Should we-" Carlisle glanced at the door, an eyebrow raised. I swallowed, nodding my head forcefully.

"Ready as I'll ever be."

**AN: And my cliff hangers are back folks. :P**


	21. Chapter 21

**Authors Note: Oh my gawd. It's an update. lol Sorry everyone, I got in a funk, and I just couldn't write anything. But i'm updating now. I hope I didn't loose any readers :) Love you my little sugary-gummy-beary-lovies. **

**Carlisle:**

"Should we-?" I raised an eyebrow, nodding slightly to the door. Bella nodded, although a little forced.

"Ready as I'll ever be." I was dreading this moment, but if we could get it over soon, we could be back home and in bed sooner. I walked in front of Bella, shielding her the most I could, about half way down the stairs I stopped, one of the voices had stopped mid sentence, and I could feel eyes on me. I looked up, meeting his eyes instantly.

So this was Jacob Black. His black hair was shaggy, and just to his shoulders, he stood at at least six-foot five. His jeans were smudged with autogrease, and were ripped in odd places. His mud colored eyes were bloodshot, and I could smell residue of alchohal under his wet dog scent. Along with something else, something I couldn't place, but instantly knew it was wrong. He was handsome, I suppose, but I just couldn't picture Bella at his side. She was mine, and she belonged under my arm now. Like she suddenly was. She snuck under my arm, and wrapped one of hers around my waist. I smirked, and his eyes seemed to fill with even more hatred.

His whole form shivered once, and I remembered what Bella told me. When a wolf was phasing, he would shake when he was angry, a sign he was about to shift. We contuined walking down, much to Bella's shoving. Every molecule in my body told me, _danger, danger, must protect her. _And protecting her was keeping her away from him. So we veered outside, to where tables were sat up, and Charlie was talking to an older Quilette man in a wheel chair. He looked instantly familiar, so much that it nearly made me speechless.

"Hi Billy." Bella said kindly, waving, now pulling my by the hand.

"Hey kid." His eyes tightened when he looked at me, such a difference from how they looked at Bella. "Cullen."

"Nice to meet you Mr. Black."

"His name is Carlisle, Billy." The man huffed, and muttered slightly, shaking his head. "Now don't start it old man, and I'll knock you out of that chair."

"Old man? You're a year older than me thank you very much." Charlie rolled his eyes, to Billy, and to Bella who was beaming proudly at him.

"You look astounding amount like Ephraim." Billy looked up, a little shocked, and Charlie almost dropped his beer. A huff sounded from behind me, from Jacob, who I heard approaching one hundred and sixteen seconds ago.

"You sure would know wouldn't ya?" He said, anger laced in his forcefully friendly voice.

"Oh. Ha. Ha. That's insanely original." Bella said, taking a seat next to her father, eyeing the seat next to her. Which I forcefully sat down in. My alarms had been triggered, and I couldn't shake the feeling of danger, of to protect. I had conquered everything, always remained calm, yet I was struggling now. All over one human woman.

"Yes Jacob. I would know, I'm nearly four hundred years old, and I'm the one that signed the treaty. Yes, I'm old. So old that you should be very disturbed Isabella." I grinned at her, and forced myself to look at ease, leaning back in my seat.

"Carlisle- Jesus- Could you just not go on about it like that, man. It's freaking me out." Charlie said, a little straggled.

Billy began loud laughter, and grasped at his chest. "Charlie you sound like a teenage girl sometimes."

"Funny, Sue called you bickering teenage girls, and Bella calls you gossiping old ladies."

"I'd like to actually discuss the treaty here. Instead of you joking off, maybe?" Bella's eyes shot behind me, burning was a fiery anger I prayed never was focused on me.

"What about the treaty?" She sneered.

Jacob's heavy body fell into the chair directly across from me. I crossed my arms and looked directly at him.

"Certain parts I think you should remember. It says you cannot bite a human, whether to kill or to change."

"When we're on your land, and around your people. I do not live on your land anymore, and if it makes you feel better I'll sell the house. We won't come back here, ever. But Bella will visit her father anytime she wants too, and I'm afraid that means myself as well. Frankly Jacob, you have no right to tell me what to do when I'm no longer living in Forks."

"But you have one of _our_ people with you. Fork's is-"

"I am nothing of _yours!" _Bella yelled.

"Forks is the middle ground, neither our land, or yours. Bella is nothing of yours little boy, and I think you should instantly get that out of your mind."

"It was you wasn't it? On the phone all the time ago, you've been fucking this leech for that long?" He yelled towards Bella.

"You little-" Charlie began but was interrupted by my sudden movements.

My body launched up, I gripped the front of his shirt, and even though he was bigger than me, I lifted him from his feet. Jacob was in a state of shock, completely frozen. Everyone was, the only sound was my muffled growl. "If you ever talk to my woman in such a way again, _the hell with the treaty_. I'll beat you senseless then let Charlie do what he wants to you. I'm sure he's got better ideas that I do."

"Damn straight." Charlie added, he to on his feet. I released him with a huff, throwing him on the ground.

"Filthy little puppy. _Your_ the one that ruined your chances with her when you fell into bed with some random woman." He growled, and began to rise, but out-of-no where, Seth and Leah jumped on him. Both in human form, and another male I didn't know the name of for sure, most likely Paul, was standing in front of him.

"Goddamnit Jacob, calm down. Get your shit together, this is a party, this is supposed to be a happy day! I mean, fuck! Becky's all stressed out, and that isn't good when she's-" He shut up suddenly.

"_Paul."_ Assumedly Becky said huffing her chest out, and crossing her arms.

"Rebbecca? Was does he mean?" Billy said, his voice raising a few octaves.

A very soft "_Oh_," escaped Bella's mouth, her eyes widening, and my eyes followed her's. They were trained on the other girls stomach, and my hearing automatically enhanced, and I instantly recognised the sound of a tiny heart, beating strong. She must have been at least four months along, it was shocking she hadn't said anything by then.

"I'm pregnant, that's what he means." Jacob's entire form softened, as he shrugged off the people, and went to hug his sister. The hatred clear from his face, exchanged with brotherly affection and love.

Everyone seemed to forget that I just tossed Jacob across the yard, and began cooeing, and congratulating the pair. Again it was only Charlie and Billy next to Bella and I.

"Well shit. I'm a grandpa first." Billy said with a huff.

"Rachel-"

"I never have seen them, and she never calls anymore. This time it will be real, I'm actually going to be called grandpa." Charlie didn't say anything else as he brought him over the group of happy party goers.

I glanced over at Bella, embarrassed, and heart-broken all at the same time. She was looking at the ground, her slim hands still balled into fists. I took them, and gently uncoiled them. Lacing my fingers within hers. "Are you okay?" She looked up and smiled softly.

"Yeah, I'm okay honey. Nice toss." She smiled, stretching on her tip toes to gently plant a kiss on my lips. She released one hand, using it to smooth the fabric of her shirt, before steeling herself and promptly walking with her head held high.

She always looked graceful, some how regal, but today she was especially so. Her pencil skirt clung to her form nicely, and she wore black tights underneath of it, she was even in heels. Half boots that reminded me of a woman in the 1800's might wear. This was of course an Alice bought outfit, but Bella seemed to wear it well. The shirt may have been a little too much though, if she wasn't who she was. Bella always seemed to make everything she wore look wonderful, without even trying. Maybe it was because she wasn't, and didn't even really care. But today she did, and it was very hard to keep from staring at her.

Much to my dismay, others seemed to notice too. "Bella? Will you help be get everything"

"Of course Sue, I'm coming. Carlisle, care to help?" She asked me, eyes begging me to come with her.

"Yes bring him, I'm not lifting today." Sue said waving her hand at us. I chuckled, and we briskly moved past everyone. Paul, and Jacobs eyes hard on me, and a curious glance from Rebecca.

"What if he spits in the food?" Paul mumbled to Jacob, and Bella turned sharp on her heel.

"Oh you won't have to worry about _him._" She winked, sticking out her tongue and hurried off.

"Such a lady!" Leah called out.

"Damn straight!" Bella yelled back.

Sue and Bella instantly put me to work, as the two mumbled and fretted about. My ears were elsewhere though, but my hands and body were completely focused on the tasks at hand. One of the things I appreciated about being what I am.

I searched through the normal chit-chat, and found Jacobs voice.

"I just can't believe you Charlie. If you knew what he really was you wouldn't want him anywhere near Bella. Now I get it, she doesn't want to be with me, but I care about her. All I want is her safe, and healthy, and.. _Normal." _Charlie's heavy sigh, and shifting of muscles, brought an imagine of him rolling back, and giving Jacob the 'I've truly had enough of your voice look' that he had given many times with Edward, and law-breakers that had been brought in at the hospital.

"Jacob." He sighed again, before clearly his throat and banging on the table with his hand. "I'm only going to say this once, so listen." Everyone went silent, and my dead heart skipped a beat, my hands actually slipping on a dish. "Carlisle had always been someone I respected, my first response of meeting him has not changed. I don't need to know what he is, I really don't. If I didn't trust him, he wouldn't be in my house, or anywhere near my daughter. You know why? _Bella_ trusts him. She loves him, and she stands up for him. From the day she was born she was thirty. Such a level head, quick thinking, and smart. I've never not trusted her. I'm not going to stop now."

"But she completly lied when she was dating Edward, look how that turned out." Jacob said as soon as Charlie stopped to take a breath.

"He betrayed her, Carlisle never did." His words were level, and lethal. " That's the end of it. If you don't shut your trap, I will put a muzzle on you."

I laughed loudly, and the Sue gave me a funny look, while Bella raised an eyebrow. "Nothing, your father just amused me is all."

The day went by much quicker after that, and we managed to always stay at a safe distance from Jacob. Leah and Seth were always there for conversation. It was nice, not being questioned on to why you weren't eating. It was a little thing, but it still eased my thoughts. Everyone here knew what I was, and wasn't frightened of it. Calm and comfortable about it even. Even Rebecca had come along, and asked me if I thought everything was okay with her pregnancy.

"Yes, everything from what I can tell is fine. Has there been any concerns hon?" Bella's brows furrowed, and she instantly took her place at my side.

"We've.. Been trying for a while now, it was hard for us.. I miss carried once, in the past.. The doctor said to wait to tell anyone, to make sure there wasn't any stress on me. I'm going to have to stop working once I hit six months." She was incredibly sweet, and had kind eyes.

"Your four or so months now yes?"

"Yes." She said, nodding.

"I can't believe. Rachel, now you." Bella said smiling. "I heard Jessica Stanley has had to."

"Well that was bound to happen." Rebecca said grinning. "I'm only a year older than you, you got time."

"Becky?" Paul called out.

"Sorry, nice meeting you Carlisle, talk to you later Bells." She briskly walked off, and again, Bella's eyes were on the ground. Eyes a little cast over.

"Bella-"

"I'm going to go help clean up, we'll have to go soon, and I don't want to leave Sue with all that." She ran off, hiking up her skirt a little as she went.

I sighed heavily, and collapsed down on the log that was around the fire pit that we had stood by. There was no fire going at the moment, but I stared at the wood blankly.

Would I lose another woman because I couldn't give her what she most wanted? I had never truly _wanted_ kids. Not with Esmé, but I wanted her to be happy. Something about the thought of Bella though, her stomach growing, and her skin that peachy glow. The smile on her face, and tiny heartbeat that belonged to my child. I shook off the day-dream, and realised I wasn't alone. Jacob sat on the log opposite of me.

"You know you can't give her a normal life." He said, a little astonished.

"Of course I know that." My voice was sharp, and bitter, and I couldn't contain it.

"She deserves it. Everything that Rebecca has." His voice was back to being hatefilled.

"Your trying so hard for Bella to be normal, yet you still phase?" It had bothered since the very moment Bella had mentioned he was shifting. Every other member of the pack wasn't, they were happy and human. Jacob though, something was just very off about him. "Bella told me, that you wanted nothing more than to be human and normal when it first happened, so why are you still?"

"I have my reasons, and none of them have anything to do with you." He bared his teeth slightly. I simply stared calmly back at him.

"Yes, it does. There is something off about you Jacob, tell me."

"Why do you care?" He whisper yelled.

"Because Billy does, Charlie does, Sue does, Seth and Leah do. And Bella, she cares about everyone, and I suppose I do too. Even though your annoying. Your sick aren't you?" I narrowed my eyes, and leaned forward. He looked away, towards the trees.

"I did stop phasing. From the moment Bella and I were over, I changed completely. I stopped phasing, I got back on the right track with work. But then.. I kept feeling more and more weak. I thought it was because I was human again. It was hard to breath, and one day I blacked out. I woke up coughing, and then there was blood. I tried to get better, to see if it was something I could fix, but the doctor on the rez didn't know, and I couldn't have went to a normal hospital. I waited for three months after that, and I kept getting worse. I lost weight, I kept coughing, pale, sweating, I couldn't do anything without hurting and I still couldn't breath. I got really bad one night, so I phased.. I just wanted it to stop." He voice kept getting lower, and he never once looked at me.

I frowned, my mind scanning over possible diseases he could have. "And it's stopped now?"

"Yes, it's stopped now. I'm perfectly fucking fine. Just a werewolf. An immortal werewolf." I leaned back. Immortality, to someone who didn't choose it, was always terrible. The fear of being forever alone, I certainly had been there before. It was a possibility with Jacob, there wasn't very many werewolves alive anymore.

"If I didn't know any better I'd say it was tuberculosis."

"Why couldn't it be that? What exactly is that? I know Doc Holiday had it.. " He asked, turning his head towards me quickly, he shrugged though, a small smile towards the end of his words.

"Well, it's a contagious bacterial infection that involves the lungs, but it may spread to other organs. The symptoms, can stay stagnant for years or affect the person right away. People at a higher risk for it, are the elderly, infants and those with weakened immune systems due to other diseases, such as AIDS or diabetes, or even people who have undergone chemotherapy." He paled slightly. "The symptoms.. are exactly what you had."

"I was sick, when I was around three or so. I had cancer, but I beat it. Ask my Dad, he'll tell a good tale about it.. I had diabetes too, so did my mom.. Had it before the change of course.. I guess the doctor on the rez is really just a vodoo guy huh? A few words and you already have it pegged."

"It's curable Jacob. I could prescribe you the medicine, and you could trust me to not let anyone know about any abnormalities in your blood. If that doesn't work, it still prolongs everything, and there's other things we could try. You have to try Jacob, you have to try to be human. If it doesn't work you can always phase again. Just a few years older." I smiled slightly at him. "If you don't want me as your doctor, I know someone who is very trustworthy, he lives down in Oregon though."

"Your serious? I could- I could-" I nodded, pulling out my card.

"Yes Jacob, I never joke about such things. Here's my number, my email is on there if you prefer that. I need to you to stop phasing, now. Your blood runs to hot, and it would burn everything out of your system."

"Where- Where are you going? Listen, I'm sorry for everything It's just-"

"Love is terrible, and bitter when it goes wrong. Trust me, I understand. Where am I going? I'm going to go take my Isabella home." I walked past him, smiling, as Bella leaned against the house, worry on her face.

"Your going to marry her aren't you?" He asked quietly. I turned around, and smiled brighter.

"I intend on it. Don't tell anyone though. I haven't asked her yet."

"So sure she'll say yes?" I thought about it for a moment. My mood was uplifted, we were going home, and I felt assured that Jacob wouldn't bother us again. I bounced slightly, only once, moving my hands to my pockets.

"She always surprises me, so no. No one can ever be sure on what Bella will say or do. But, I know she loves me."

**AN: What did you think of this chap guys? Had a lot of dialogue, but alot needed to be said, and resolved. **


	22. Chapter 22

**Authors Note: I was iffy about my last post, and I'm glad you guys took it as well as you did! Here's the next chapter, and I hope you like it. And woot! It's long. :)**

**Note: I know it was Rachel who was with Paul in twilight, but I got the names mixed up, so let's pretend it's Rebecca? K? M'kay. **

_"Your going to marry her aren't you?" He asked quietly. I turned around, and smiled brighter._

_"I intend on it. Don't tell anyone though. I haven't asked her yet."_

_"So sure she'll say yes?" I thought about it for a moment. My mood was uplifted, we were going home, and I felt assured that Jacob wouldn't bother us again. I bounced slightly, only once, moving my hands to my pockets._

_"She always surprises me, so no. No one can ever be sure on what Bella will say or do. But, I know she loves me."_

**12 weeks later. **

**Bella-**

I ran briskly down the hospital hall, nurses and patients alike giving me odd glances as I flew past them. I dodged past the bickering old man in a wheelchair, jumping slightly. It was very out-of-place to do in the workplace, but the urgency was in place. I pulled open Carlisle office door, and shut it quickly behind me. "Carlisle! Would you please talk to Rebecca for me, I mean really, she won't listen to me when I say it's perfectly normal for her to spotting, and she's nearly having a panic attack."

Rebecca Black, now Rebecca Lahote, a childhood friend I had always wanted to reunite with was now always calling my phone. It was becoming a little irratating."Did you just run this whole way?"

"Yes!" I waved the phone in his face, he chuckled slightly before taking it. The truth was, I didn't know for sure if it was normal. I knew it could happen, but I was still a little apprehensive about giving real advice.

"Tell me everything dear, just stay calm." He listened, face remaining calm, smiling ever so slightly toward the end. Lord I loved this man. We had been officially living together now. I had moved all of my belongings into his home, and even got to repaint a few rooms. It was mid June, and we were only working the night shift to make sure Carlisle would never get caught in the sun.

"In my opinion, since you're not in pain at all, I believe you are just fine. If you want to, you can go in and get tests done with Doctor Gerandy at Forks General, your next appointment is soon though, isn't it?" He nodded. "Then it'd be perfectly fine to come in now, so you wouldn't have to in two days. I can give them a call." He smiled gently, looking up at me. "No worries sweet heart. Have a good day. Do you wish to speak with Bella?"

I shook my head no, and raised my hands in surrender. Carlisle stifled a laugh. "Of course you haven't been warring on her nerves. But okay, talk to you later then. Bye." He clicked the phone off, and I sighed happily. "Tired love?"

"Yes. I just went on break." I huffed, collapsing into one his fluffy office chairs. "You have the best office. Like ever." He had finally gotten his office in order since he had arrived here. Now officially unneeded to pull double shifts as often. The hospital had faith in Carlisle now.

He chuckled, standing up and walking over to me. "You came just in time, I finished all of my paperwork, I can go on break with you." He kneeled down, and kissed my lips softly. "Hungry?" He said softly. I grinned, and kissed him again with a little bit more urgency. "Tsk, tsk. Not for the Miss Swam." I giggled, and heaved myself up. His eyes were dancing, and he had a look on his the past couple days that made me think something was going on with him. He was hiding something, that was for sure, I just didn't know what yet. I had an idea that it was something good, so I didn't go asking out right, I knew he would never tell me anyway. Even Alice hasn't cracked yet.

"Come on, let's go down to the shop." I kissed him once more before smoothing out my shirt, and walking ahead of him. We still were able to keep up the lie that we were just friends, or maybe people just didn't care.

About half way down the hall, Carlisle in the middle of telling me about a patient, did Zoey jump out of thin air. "Were you really running down the hall like a banshee earlier?"

"Gah! Zoey!" My hand went to my heart as Carlisle laughed fullheartedly. Zoey just grinned.

"Yes, she was. A family friend of her's was having a small issue with her pregnency. Needed to speak with me." Zoey nodded, walking beside us.

"You guys going to lunch?"

"Just grabbing something from the shop." I answered, stretching my arms infront of me as we walkked into the elevator.

"Mind if I tag along?"

"Course not Zoe." Carlisle answered with a friendly smile. I stretched my back slightly, and Carlisle frowned. "Bella you need to sleep more honey."

"I'm fine." I shrugged.

"Need to stop keeping her up all night then Carlie!" It was one of those rare moments when I could nearly see a blush on Carlisle's pale skin, as Zoey darted out the just opening elevator doors, an evil cackle in her wake.

"She's cheeky today." He said, regaining his composure, while I giggled uncontrollably.

"Her boy asked her to move in with him last night. She told me this morning."

"Guess everybody is taking the next step huh?" He asked so silently I nearly didn't catch it.

"Mmm-Hmm." I said, looking over the sandwiches, wraps, and yogurt. I finally decided on a turkey wrap, and a strawberry yogurt. "What you getting?" I asked smiling sweetly. He got closer to me, and said low into my ear.

"Your awfully cheeky today too. Yet so tired. Wonder why." He grinned, and picked up the other item I had pondered on, and paid for both of us.

We sat down at a table, Carlisle stirring sugar into his coffee. Zoey sat next to me, while Carlisle sat across from us.

"So, how's things going?" Zoey chirped.

"Good. Emmett has been a joy, but tonight his wife, Rosalie is coming into town." I said trying to keep the worry from my voice.

"Why you worried? Is she-?"

"She's-" Carlisle searched for words. "She's been.. Uh- For a lack of better wording-"

"She's Carlisle ex wife's cousin. She's been spending time with her." Zoe paused her eating entirely.

"Oh man. I'm so glad I don't have as much drama as you do. "

Emmett had been visiting for two weeks now, and Rosalie had made a statement about not contacting him. But Jasper finally broke her, and asked her to come down. It had been a hard day, when Emmett had first arrived. It was only now getting somewhat normal.

_Flashback-_

_"How much longer Alice?" I asked impatiently, as I paced her living room. Carlisle and Jasper were leaning up against the wall, and Alice was balancing like a bird on the back of the couch. Fingers on her temples. _

_"Five minutes now. He's just now caught the scent of Carlisle, and .." She trailed off, eyes on Jasper. _

_"He's.. Excited, and happy." He finished for her wife._

_I had called Emmett, well Jasper had, two weeks ago. He managed to get away from Rosalie, and Skype with me. I had explained everything, and how I wanted him to visit us soon. To say he was flabbergasted was a under statement of the year. He had never in a million years thought that Carlisle and I could have ever been an over all I had manged to explain everything to him, short hand of course. I didn't mention my past, or anything about Jacob Black. _

_Tires crunching gravel sounded, and my heart skipped a beat. I hadn't seen Emmett in _years. _I rushed out of the from door, and on to the porch as soon as Emmett was stepping out of his Jeep. _

_"Bells!" Suddenly Emmett cold arms were around me, and I was being swung around. I was suddenly so... _Happy. _I didn't know why, but now everything somehow felt more like a family, now that I finally got to see Emmett again. He let me down gently, and gave me a kiss on the forehead. _

_Then, as soon as the contact was over, a swell of anger appeared. And I slapped him with as much force as I could without hurting myself. It was the point that needed to be made. His shocked, and hurt face was all I needed to "Don't you _ever_ leave me again without at least telling me bye." _

_His hurt puppy dog face nodded over and over, and I threw myself at him, hugging him tightly. "I missed you so much Bells. I didn't want to go. I really didn't, but Rose-"_

_"I know about Rosalie. I do bro, I do. It's just it still hurt. Really bad." He choked back a cry, and buried his face into my shoulder. _

_"Is that why you didn't have Carlisle-" I pulled back, patting the side of his face._

_"I didn't have Carlisle call you because I couldn't deal with seeing Edward, and I knew Carlisle couldn't deal with seeing Esmé. Also.. Your wife may be lovely to you, but she's not the greatest to Carlisle or I." _

_"So is that how it is now? You and Carlisle?" He scratched his head, before crossing his arms, and looking behind my shoulder, where most likely Carlisle was standing. _

_"Yeah. That's how it's like now. It's me and him. Can you deal with that Emmett?" I crossed my arms then, pointed out one foot, and set my chin defiantly._

_Emmett's eyes scanned me over. I was wearing a cotton button up white blouse, with blue flowers around the collar, and cropped black pants, with nice sandals Alice had given me. Emmett burst into booming laughter. "So, your mom now?"_

_"NO!"_

End Flashback.

"You have no idea." I muttered to Zoey. Carlisle grinned as he sipped his coffee.

The day didn't take long to be over after that. We only had three more hours, and I very much dead by the end of it. Lately keeping up with Carlisle, the night-shift, and not doing nearly enough sleeping had caught up to me. I couldn't wait for this weekend, for which we both had off now. Every weekend! It was wonderful, and all because of Alice's visions. Rosalie would be at Jasper, and Alice's tonight, around dinner time.

The sun was just beginning to rise, as Carlisle drove down the road. "Are you hungry for anything honey?"

"Hmmm.. Stop at _McDonald's_, I want one of the cherry pies. Or five. Then I sleep. " Carlisle laughed, shaking his head. But gave me a curious look I caught from the corner of my eye a few moments later.

After I only had two pies, we went home, and I collapsed onto bed as soon as I was out of my clothing. Carlisle laid beside me, and stroked my cheek gently. "Are you okay darling?"

"I'm fine. I'm just... Blah." I was only in my bra and panties, and Carlisle had taken his shoes and shirt off. His cool skin felt wonderful against my slightly clammy one.

"You have been for a week or so." He hummed to himself, and I suddenly realised he wasn't cooling me, he was checking my temperature, and his eyes weren't scanning my skin because of the near nakedness. He was giving me a check up.

"I'm not sick. It's just a thing. I'll shake it." I kissed his neck, and snuggled into him farther.

I woke up late, and to the smell of bacon. I grinned, and wiggled in the bed I had loved from the very beginning. The joy of living with a person that didn't need sleep, and that loved you, was you always got your breakfast cooked. Apparently this time it was going to be in bed, because the door opened, and Carlisle was there, balancing a tray with many objects and holding open the door.

"Good morning Isabella." He smiled sweetly, and I sat up.

"You didn't have to- I can eat downstairs."

"I'm sure you could, but how about in bed today?" He placed the tray next to me, and I got a look at everything. French toast, bacon, eggs, a muffin, orange juice, and a small vase filled with the flowers that had just bloomed beautifully outside. I had no idea how Carlisle kept anything alive that wasn't a cactus, but he did. He just seemed to be the type that helped everyone, and everything.

Even Jacob Black.

_**Flash back**__-_

_"He's what? He has what!?" Carlisle fidgeted, and looked down at his hands._

_"It seems it only effected him when he went back to being a human. Werewolves are immortal, and human deseases don't affect him. Think of it this way, think of it as he, when he's phasing, is in a different body completely. So when he stops, he goes back to his true self. You yourself has said that Jacob was always slighter than most boys, and when he started getting bigger it had astounded you. You did know he had-" _

_"Cancer when he was younger? Yes. I knew that. I just would of never had thought.. No wonder he's still phasing. He doesn't want to die." His eyes finally met mine again. _

_"Your not mad then?" I couldn't help but have a quick flash of Carlisle as a little boy then._

_"Mad that you're helping someone live? Of course not. Not matter what he's done, I still care about him. He was my best friend. I want him to have a good life."_

_**End flashback. **_

_"_Are you ready for this honey?" Carlisle stood in the doorway of the upstairs bathroom as I applied just a bit more mascara.

"Do I look good enough?" I made a face and turned to face him. My hair was down, with braids on the sides to pull it from my face. Ankle boots, black slacks, and deep red sleeveless blouse I had purchased last week on a shopping trip with Alice. It had a rose design around the collar, and was much to expensive, but Carlisle had given me my own card. I hadn't used it once, until then, and it took alot of poking from Alice.

"You look gorgeous honey, but that's not what I meant."

"I know what you meant, and it's about time we got it over with. I don't care if she tells them." With that, I held my head high, and walked out of the bathroom, pulling Carlisle's hand while I did. Carlisle was grinning wildly. "You know. I was thinking, it's sort of lonely with only us here. Maybe we could get a cat _or_... a dog. I've never had a pet."

"You know, I've never had one either. They normally don't like me."

"Well maybe we can see if one will like you or get one as a kitten."

"Kitten? You hinting that you want a cat?" I kept my face innocent as possible.

"Not it you don't want one." We were just getting in the Mercedes now, Carlisle opening the door for me.

"Your so silly. Tomorrow, we'll go to the human society. See what they have." The rest of the drive we lightly chatted about animals, and what all they needed. A few wild pets we called out, like a lizard or snake, or even a hamster by Carlisle.

"_Hamster_?" I asked raising an eyebrow.

"What? Their small, and cuddly, and furry." He glanced at me before quickly looking back.

"Oh no. One day your going to be on hoarders with a thousand hamsters around you. Saying, 'What? Their cute!'" I giggled, and covered my mouth to try and stifle them.

"Oh bite me. Fine, not a hamster." He pulled into Alice and Jasper's drive way, and my breathing hitched.

"Is she here yet? Or?"

"She's here. She's going off on Emmett at the moment. Apparently he didn't call her a couple time or something. She hasn't noticed mine or your scent yet. Or the sound of my car. Never the most observant one." The sun had just begun to set, the sky a brilliant shade of dusky pink. "She won't hurt you. I promise."

"I didn't think she would. Physically. I just think she blames me a bit."

"She might, but she isn't right." He shut the engine off, and gave me the most encouraging smile he could muster. But it was a little forced, only someone who knew his expressions as much as I did could of noticed.

We got out of the car, and began to walk forward when the door flew open, hitting the house as it broke it's hinges. I winced for Alice's sake. Rosalie was a blast from the past. She looked exactly as the first time I had seen her. Same silver high heels, tight leather half jacket and golden locks perfectly glossy.

"What the _fuck _is this?!" She screeched at the top of her lungs.

Carlisle instantly angled his body infront of mine. "Rosalie calm down, and just let us explain to you."

"I'm calm asshole, and you better get to explaining, and quick." She hissed, and I was instantly infuriated.

"Do not speak to him like that Rosalie." Her eyes darted to me, her eyebrows impossibly high. Then Carlisle spoke so fast I couldn't understand him, and for the first time I wasn't offended by it. I didn't need to tell our story to her over again, and I didn't feel like wasting my time if she wasn't going to be nice. Her eyes though, they stayed on me the whole time; slowly appraising me.

"Your mates then?" She asked finally, clawed out hands softening, and moving to her hips.

"Yes Rosie, they are. I'm sorry- No wait, I'm not sorry. You kept me from her just because you thought it was best. You have no idea what she's been through since then, and your not going to take me away from her now. So you fucking deal with it, and don't tell Esmé or Edward, not yet. Just for once listen to Carlisle." Emmett stood behind her, arms crossed. She slowly turned, eyes wide.

"Emmett I-"

"_She_ _fucking lost it. _I could have been there for her. I _should_ of been there for her." She moved forward to attempt to hug him or something but he raised his hands and backed away. "No. Not until you and I have it all settled out. You are not the boss of me Rose. You can't tell me what to do, and when I don't want to do it threaten to leave me. You just can't. If I didn't fucking love you so much I would have. I'm always here for you, for anything and everything, but you need to give a little too." I suddenly felt like this was an extremely private moment, and looked over to Carlisle. He had the same look on his face, as he casually as possible moved us past them and into the house.

The last thing I heard was Rosalie crying. "I'm so sorry Emmett. I'm so fucking stupid sometimes. I'll change, I promise, and if I don't tell me to knock it off. Okay? I'm so sorry baby."

We had moved into the living room, where Alice stood with her hands on hips, and eyes wild. "Did that bitch break my door? _Did she break my door_!" Jasper winced, and clenched his eyes shut.

"Ally it may be best to leave it be. " He cleared his throat before calling out loudly, "If you don't get the fuck off my lawn when your starting that shit I swear I'll light you on fire." he grinned at me, winking.

Alice sighed, and huffed as she fell onto the couch. She looked a little helpless. "Well she's here. "She turned her head over to me, patting the seat next to her. "Wanna watch _Vampire Diaries_ Bella?"


	23. Chapter 23

**Authors Note: 300 Reviews, goodness gracious I love you all. If I could I'd let Carlisle be all yall's doctor ;)**

**Sorry if this is to much of a repeat of Rosalie's story, but I feel it was sort of necessary. Oh and this is a long chapter, so it makes up for it. :)**

**I try everyday  
To think of something deep to say  
Cause I would like to find the words  
That deserve to be heard**

Sounds like words are out of style  
Silence beckons down the murder mile  
I'll keep on talking to the hand  
In a language I don't understand

**If I am an extra in the film of my own life  
Then who the hell is the director  
If I am an extra in the film of my own life  
Then would someone please turn of the camera's**

And show me how to live

**The Extra- Placebo**

**Bella:**

"Alice?" I bit my lip, frowning as I walked into their house. Carlisle, Jasper and Emmett were all out hunting. I didn't know where Rosalie was at the moment, and I only wanted to talk to Alice. I tossed my purse on the coffee table, and walked out the open patio door. "Alice? Are you hear?" I said a little louder.

"No. She isn't. " I jumped at least a foot in the air, spinning around, hand on my heart. "She went shopping, and to get her hair down at the mall. Most likely to get away from me." Rosalie was trying to hide her amusement but failing. Strange. Would of thought she would have openly mocked me. I hadn't seen her since two days ago when she had first arrived. She had carefully dodged me, tuning up Alice's car or Jasper bike.

I ran a hand through my damp hair. "I'll just leave then." I couldn't stop sweating, and the last thing I needed was Rosalie's attitude poking my buttons. I never was in a good mood when I was ill.

"No! Please don't. We haven't talked, and I would like too. I feel I have some explaining to do." She dodged in front of me as I leaned down to grab my bag. I sighed, reaching around her, and grabbing a hair tie from my bag. I wrapped up my hair and slumped onto the couch giving in to inevitable.

"Sit then, because it isn't just going to be a quick chat. I have things to talk to you about too, but you've been carefully avoiding me. " She sat down looking at her hands, on the farthest point she could sit while still being on the same couch. She actually looked nervous, and I was taken aback. The only Rosalie I had ever seen was cold as marble, in so many ways.

"I guess I have. Your just... Your a little intimidating now." I couldn't help it, I laughed.

"How? I mean shit, your Rosalie Hale. I'm just Bella, I've never been mean to you. Or you know suggesting I should have just basically been killed. Or you know, I never supported, neigh cheered on leaving you behind without a single word. Only the knowledge I could have never forgotten." Her eyes closed, and she looked away.

"I'm sorry. I really am. It's not like I did it just to be a shrewd bitch. I did it because I thought you were better off without us-"

"Better off? I was committed the day I fucking walked into to that lunch room. Fate would have never let me escape Edward. As soon as I figured it out, it was sealed completely. Death or being a vampire-"

"No, we could have protected you. We still can. There's _always _a choice. There should be anyway."

"Live as a human? What life would I have Rosalie? Really, now think about. Always knowing what's lerking in the dark. I could never have anyone. If I told them I would condemn them, and if I didn't the lie would eat away at me until I died. Never being fully truthful to _anyone_. I couldn't live like that. I would never want to live like that. And now? No way. I love Carlisle. I couldn't- I just can't imagine having a happy future without him. "

"Love? Is that what it's all about for you? Fairy tales and rainbows?" She leaned forward slightly, eyes narrowing, face full of genuine curiosity. Like she was trying to figure me out.

"I never thought it was. But my life seems to tell me differently. Is that so bad? I don't mind living my life like an YA romance because of the people I know. The family I have made. The bonds I've formed. You would know if you let other people in once in a while." She flinched, like I had slapped her and I suddenly felt regretful. I hadn't known it would have hurt her at all.

"I wasn't always like this. I had dreams of Prince charming when I was a girl. Of love and happiness. But then I settled, I settled for money and my parents approval. Have you ever heard my story Bella?"

"I just know you were close to death." She licked her lips once, and then became stone. Her expression closed off, and her jaw was set.

"That's a understatment. Would you like to hear it Bella? It dosen't have a happy ending." I nodded. "Of course which of ours does? If we had happy endings, we'd all be under gravestones now." She sighed before she contuined. "Carlisle.. It was 1933 in Rochester, New York, and I was visiting my best friend. Vera... I lived in such a different world than you do Bella. So much simpler. I was 18, and I was beautiful. Every man looked at me. I liked it." I stiffened and internally rolled my eyes.

" I liked the gifts my father gave me, the envy of my friends. I was vain and I will always admit it. Of all the men only one was worthy in my fathers eyes. My father you see, he worked at the bank. We didn't know what the depression was, it was like a far away dream. The man my father worked for had a son, Royce King II. I should have known when my mother made me put on my best dress to walk all across town just to give my father his forgotten lunch. He took notice of me, and sent red Rose's to me every single day." She turned her chin away, spitfulness leaking into her tone." We took walks with a chaperone, and he told me how my eyes looked of violets. I began getting those too. Soon we were set to marry. My parents were so proud that I would marry such wealth. All I could see was that I would be happy, and have everything I needed. A house, clothes, and children. I had always wanted children. Vera had the cutest baby, black hair and dimples. She had married a simple man, but she had found such love. I was so jealous that night, but not of her love. Of that adorable little baby that held on to my hair, and giggled when I cooed at it. I should have called for my father." A swell of pain boiled up in my stomach, and I new the unhappy ending was soon coming.

"I had never seen him like that. I was about half way home, it was snowing, and even though I was cold I remembered how pretty I thought it was. Royce came from an alley, with a group of men I had seen before at a few parties. His close friends. In total it was five of them, including my Royce. He asked them to look at how pretty I was, and one of them said. 'You can't see hardly any of her, that bundled up.'" My hands gripped the couch cushion as she met my eyes. Her voice had changed, changed to match a gruff mans tone. "'Why don't you show him your self then Rosie?'" It changed again and her whole body shuddered. She bit her lip, looking down. "He ripped of my clothes, and they took turns ripping away my innocence. When I fought they stabbed me, tortured me. Left me there out in the open. Like I was nothing but last night's milk bottle." I felt immensely sick, and heartbroken. A heavy weight of pain, I couldn't do anything for her. Nothing at all, even though it was so long ago, it still felt terrible.

"Carlisle came. I was unconscious. The next thing I remember is Esme, her careful hands cleaning me and putting on new clothing as I burned. It wasn't as bad then, but then it got so much worse. He told me everything, your Carlisle. I cursed him, and screamed. Then I relised screaming didn't matter. When I awoke, I got my wits about me. Hunted, and such. Then. Then I planned there deaths. I killed each and everyone of them. Saving Royce for last, so he knew it was coming for him. I even wore a wedding dress. " She smiled then, and it was frightening. To much sharp white teeth, and her face held so much bitterness. A quick flash of something, in the corners of my memory. _The phych ward. _It was clear now, she was turned in a state of such anger, such bitterness, and vanity, and want that she still hadn't gotten over what was done to her. It was horrible, god was it horrible, but her being like this was only giving her murderers more power.

"Rosalie.." I didn't know what I was doing until it was too late. I closed the distance between us, and I hugged Rosalie as hard as I could. She gasped loudly, her whole body seemed to go limp as it broke through with loud sobs. Rosalie needed someone to help her. Someone who wasn't her mother or her husband, brother or sister. Rosalie needed a friend. Someone who could listen, and someone who could yell at her all in the same moment. I pulled back, placing my hands on each side of her face. "You can't push everyone away Rosalie. You can't hold that much hate inside of you forever. It's eating away at you, even though you ended them. I can see it. I can see that pain. That look on your face, the way you love Emmett with all you have, but what you have just isn't whole. I know that look Rosalie. I've seen it in the mirror, just no where as near as bad. Let me help you Rosalie, all I want to do is help." Her body was still shaking as she pushed away from me and began to pace the room.

"I- I don't need _anyone!_ I am fine. You don't know anything little girl. _Nothing!"_ She was pacing the room, her hands in her hair. She barely got the words out through her labored breathing and dry sobs. Just noticing my wet cheeks, I wiped at them hastily.

"Yes. You do. Talk shit about me all you want Rosalie. Go ahead, I don't care. But sorry. You've got forever with me, and one day, one day Rose, your going to get better. Your not living. Not like this. It's surviving." She looked over at me, fury over her stunning features. She froze, eyes scanning over me. I sat in her abandoned seat, legs and arms crossed, jaw set, and eyes unwavering. She softened. I could literally see the ice melting away, and as it did, she sunk to the floor. Hands covering her face, as she wiped away invisible tears.

"Do you understand now? It's not that I don't like you. It's quite the opposite. Your everything I've wanted to be since I woke up to this life. Independent, optimistic. Human. Especially human. I would give anything for myself and Emmett to be human. To grow old with him. To have kid's, and grandkids, and fights about money, telling kids to get off the lawn, cats, everything. I want it. But I'll never have it. I've accepted it, it's just it still hurts. Forever it an awfully long time." Her voice was so small, and so very not Rosalie. I was crying again, but not for her this time. But because I realised everything I was giving up, I always had, always had known. But like I said before, my fate was sealed, and I was working with what I was given.

"I understand. Do you understand that I'm doing the best with what I have?" She looked up at me, smiling slightly.

"I do. I think I always have. I'm just awfully stubborn." The front door slammed abruptly, and Alice came in several bags on her arms.

"Well at least you've found something you both have in common. Now that you two have it all worked out, do not break anymore of my stuff. So help me mother of shoes, I will kill both of you." At this precise moment, Rosalie and I both noticed Alice's hair. I snorted loudly, then we both couldn't stop laughing. I rolled off the couch and onto the floor from it. "What? What's so funny?"

Alice's hair was in its normal thousand tiny spikes, but this time the ends were dyed a bright hot pink. "Alice. How old are you liked 60? Pink hair over sixty just isn't in." Rosalie said.

"You do know punk isn't in anymore. Right?" I added, holding my heart. She sneered and held her head high as she stalked out of the room. We looked at each other and began laughing again. It was more than necessary, but it was good.

"You got her high." Jasper accused as the three slightly disheveled males walked in from the back door, making me shriek before I dissolved into more giggles. Rosalie tried to straighten up but made the mistake of making eye contact with me.

"Good lord." Carlisle said mocking worry, eyes alight with amusement. Emmett was wide eyed, and couldn't stop looking back and forth between us like he was watching a tennis match.

I straightened up myself, standing. The laughter had seized. Rosalie's lips kept twitching though, and nearly making me giggle. "Stop it!" I yelled grabbed one of Alice's purple pillows and hitting her in the head with it.

"Oh my god. It's my dream." Emmett said.

"We don't sleep Emmett." Jasper added.

"Day dream. Dude! This is everyday dream ever! PILLOW FIGHT!" Well that ended the laughter. We glared at them.

"So judging you right now Em." I mumbled.

"Keep my girlfriend out of your day dreams." Carlisle said crossing his arms and glaring.

"Why do you _need _to day dream?" Rosalie's glare was getting a little frightening. Emmett stuttered, before Rosalie laughed, launching herself up from the floor, and hugging Emmett tightly.

"Did someone say pillow fight? Not with my pillows! What did I just say!" Alice shrieked, appearing suddeningly in the living room.

Then it started all over again as the boys saw her hair.

_**The next week. **_

"So you seriously don't know what's up with Carlisle?" I asked Alice as we walked through the mall slowly. Rosalie on my right, and Alice on my left. "I mean I know this girl day has something to do with all the hiding and sneaking he's been doing. Don't think I haven't noticed it either. I know your both planning something."

"_I'm_ not planning anything." Alice clarified, turning into _Victoria's Secret._

"We're really not going in here are we?" Rosalie asked. "I mean who dosen't buy there naughty things off of the internet? This is just embarrassing." She said lower, as she hurried to keep up with Alice who was pulling my hand.

"What? Don't want anyone to know your into BDSM? And that your man is a sub, and your a dom?" Alice said loudly, and I even felt embarrassed for Rosalie.

"Shut your mouth you hobbit." Rosalie sneered out. One thing this week I had learned about Rosalie, and that was utterly shocking, she was the world's hugest fangirl. She watched an obserd amount of TV, and owned an insane amount of t-shirts for them. Currently under her silver blazer was a blue _T.A.R.D.I.S. _shirt. Even her hair today reminded me of _Rose Tyler._ We had even had another talk, talk about how hard it had been for her the first few months, and when she had found Emmett. I felt closer to Rosalie, and yet still so far away. But we were making progress, and that's all I wanted.

"Will you two ever stop bickering?" I asked, removing my hand from Alice's grip, and glancing at some tasteful, yet lacey bra's.

"Will she ever grow taller?"

"Will she ever stop competing for the world's biggest bitch award?" I snickered.

"Really though. What's he up too. You _have _to know." I picked a pretty black bra in my size off of the rack, and smiled slighty thinking of Carlisle.

"Really? Don't be such a mom! How about this!" Rosalie held up a _nothing but_ lace red bra, that was very see thru.

"How can that even be worn as a bra?" I asked, shaking my head no.

"It's langerie, not-"

"What's wrong with having both. It's stupid, _oh let me change into something comfortable. _Then saunter out of the bathroom. Much better to just wear something, that can actually be warn." I aruged.

"Why do I have to know?" Alice asked. "I don't know everything." She was looking at the things I would of blushed vivid red about, so I quickly adverted my eyes.

"Oh yes you do. You nosey little thing. Besides your my best friend. You would know. If it's what I think it is."

Alice's head jerked. "What do you think it is?" I bit my lip.

"Well I'm getting this. Bigger size of course." Rosalie said, picking the bra up and the matching panties. "Come on."

Alice took the pink set of _true_ langerie, gauter belts and all, with her as we walked to the counter. Rose just paid, then I placed my black set on the counter, getting out my card.

"I couldn't help but over hear. Your boys up to something huh?" The woman behind the counter must of been in her mid thirties at the latest, soft brown hair, and a kind smile.

"Donna! Can't be snooping in everybodies business." A blonde woman around the same age, possibly older, came up wrapping my purchases.

"Yeah." I said handing her my card.

"How long have you been dating?"

"Oh.. Five months now. I've known him for a long time though." The woman smiled.

"Ohhh." The blonde woman cooed, and her heavily make up'd eyes lit up.

"Okay Bella, move it. My turn, and ladies. " Alice shook her head once, very sternly, and they both bit there lips. I was placing my card back in my purse, then everything just sort of clicked into black.

My purse fell and I was wide eyed. "Oh my god. He is isn't he?"

"Oh dear." Rosalie said sighing.

"I didn't tell you! That's all that matter's, Rosalie! I didn't tell her. I kept my promise. Oh god, don't faint Bella." She suddenly looked panic'd, and I smiled. I smiled wider, and then I couldn't stop my self.

I jumped up and down, and squiled like a girl for the first time in my entire life with out Alice making me.


	24. Chapter 24

_**Authors Note: SO You guys sort of already know what's going to happen in this chapter, so I hope I do this properly, and the best way possible. I've worked soo soo hard on it. I hope you guys like it! **_

_**And I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. It's been nearly a month since i've updated, and i'm horrified. But work, and school sort of took control of my life. Also tumblr/TomHiddleston. That sexy bastard. **_

_**This is going to be 2-parter. Meaning TWO CHAPTERS OF CARLISE'S POV. Because damnit this is an important part, and I want you to get this chapter now, since I feel so bad. **_

**Carlisle:**

For the past few days I had made everything perfect. Figuring out the best possible way to propose to Bella without her completely freaking out or having it be two simple. Bella wasn't one to light it up on a billboard, or anything public. She would die of embarrassment. But I couldn't just say, 'Soo, wanna be my wife?'. I frowned even imagining saying that to Bella made me cringe. It needed to be _perfect_. If it went well, this would be something she would remember forever, a lifelong moment in our lives. So I had to do what was right. I had to ask her father.

It was the night that Rosalie and Bella had their talk.

_Flashback:_

"I can't believe you're doing this pops. I mean really, what if he shoots you?" Emmett said.

"It's a high probability." Jasper added.

"He's knows it won't work."

"What all did you tell him?" Jasper asked, worry coloring his tone.

"Enough. He knew alot, and besides, he's protected. The Volturi know of these types of tribes, and they leave them be. They would listen to me anyway, but I'm just being very safe on having him know, but not exactly know what we are. He's technically a part of the tribe though, just not blood. He's married to one of them." Jasper took the hint, and didn't question me anymore on it.

"Really? Chief Swan finally moved on? That good." Emmett was always fond of Charlie, and Charlie himself had liked him for his sports talk. "It'll be nice hunting in Forks again." Effectively ending the conversation for the rest of the trip. We had to be quick, so we were running. It didn't take us very long, it was an hour and a half run at full speed.

I left the boys in the woods, I hadn't called ahead, but I saw the cruiser in the drive as I made my way up to the porch. I ran a hand through my hair, and straightened my clothing properly. Smoothing down my button up shirt. _Charlie, Cheif Swan. You know I love your daughter.. _The door opened suddenly, and I gasped a little.

"Carlisle? What's wrong? Has-" Alarm clear, from the shock and worry on his face, and his state of somewhat undress. His gun belt was unbuckled, and his jacket was half off of him. Like he had just walked in the door.

"No, nothing is wrong. Nothing is wrong at all. I just was wondering if I could talk to you for a moment. I swear nothing is wrong." I held up my hands, just to be safe, and cease his worries.

"Okay. Come on in then." We walked inside, and into the kitchen. Where surprisingly Sue wasn't there. From my small amount of time in the Swan house, Sue had been a permanent fixture there.

"Where's Sue?"

"She went out to see a movie with Leah. Summer break and all. So Leah's back here." Charlie reached into the fridge, and pulled out a beer. "I suppose this is a pretty serious talk. Since you look like you literally just ran all the way from Arizona." I laughed more than I should of, and sat down in the chair in which I knew Bella always used to sit on. It was purple, and the paint was chipped, and most assuredly had stories to tell from all of the summer Bella most of spent in this house.

My eyes scanned the room, as I gathered my thoughts. There was evens till drawings, and stories from when Bella was five stuck onto the refrigerator. Even some framed on the walls. A copy of her acceptance letters, her diploma. An essay she wrote. "Yes.. It is.. Charlie.." I cleared my throat, and sat up a little straighter, looking down at my hands that were clasped and resting on the table.

"You want to marry her." Charlie said, before talking a very large drink of his beer.

"How did you know?" I asked, slightly amazed, but it most of being obvious. It hadn't been, to me at least, that anyone would have known what I was intending on doing.

"Carlisle.. You've told me how much you love her, and it was only clear that you two would take bigger steps. I just sort of thought that it would be a bit longer than this. " He sighed heavily.

"I know.. It probably should. I just.. I can't seem to picture my life without Bella. Why not make it known to everyone? I can't take not having everyone know at work. A few people do, but not alot. More than anything, and I'm sorry about this, but I'd like to share a last name with her." I smiled slightly, and Charlie laughed once, looking away from me.

"Does Esmé, and Edward know about you two?" I sighed.

"Well, no. They don't. Rosalie, Emmett, Alice, and Jasper do. Rosalie just very recently. I know that soon, very soon, they will have to be told. We've just been avoiding it. They tend to be a little dramatic. "

"So it isn't about revenge?" Charlie asked, raising an eyebrow.

"What? No. No. Of course not. And I'm not ashamed of them knowing either, in fact the rather cocky side of me wants them to know. But I haven't, because I didn't think Bella.. was quite stable enough to encounter Edward again. She seemed to take Jacob very well though, so I think she can handle him now."

"She'll handle it, because she has you." He finished the rest of his beer in a long drink, and the bottle clinked the table loudly in the silence. "If it's my permission you want, you have it. Not that it matters, that girl has a mind of her own, and I don't own her." A huge breathe of air escaped me, that I didn't know I had held.

"Thank you Charlie. It's just.. I wanted to make sure I do this properly, and as perfect as I can for her. We haven't done anything the 'normal way', I just wanted to do something right. "

"Well Carlisle, asking for permission isn't _normal_ nowadays." I laughed slightly shaking my head.

"It isn't, is it? Old habits I guess."

_End Flashback. _

I had spent the entire day cleaning the house, preparing things the way I wanted, and prepping Bella's favorite meal and desert for dinner: Vegetarian spaghetti, and chocolate cheesecake. It was nothing fancy, but Bella loved it. Everything was set out, and ready to be put on the stove. The cake was already done, and resting. I leaned back, and smiled triumphantly. "Oh dear." I looked down to find my clothing completely covered in dust, dirt, and flour. I new I shouldn't of cleaned the office. I let to much dust collect in there. I briskly made my way upstairs, to shower, and change.

I came back down stairs shortly, hair still wet, and dressed in black pants, and a dark blue button up. I knew Bella liked it when I wore dark colors. In fact the first time I realised this was a very long time ago, while I was stitching Bella's arm. I had thought I had hullucanated it, and I was simply a creepy old pervert for it, and quickly dismissed the thoughts. I knew better now.

I had also went to the store earlier, and picked up supplies. Supplies for the pet we had yet to get. Once the girls were home, I was going to take Bella to shelter, to get whatever dog or cat she wanted. I purchased both kinds of food, so it was completely up to her on which she wanted. We had discussed it more since the jokes of hamsters, and had decided that a kitten or puppy would be best for us.

It was nearly three now, and I place I preferred to go to was closing at six. I sighed, pacing, wondering if I should call Alice or not. My phone buzzed, nearly instantly.

_**On our way, with Rose's driving we'll be back in 7 minutes- Ally**_

**Did everything go well? -C.C. **

_**Everything's fine, besides Rosalie and Bella wandering off into Spencer's and buying to much nerd wear. - Ally**_

**Nothing wrong with that. It's cute, and I happen to own nerd wear Alice. -C.C.**

_**Whatever Jedi. TTYS- Ally**_

For some reason that didn't end my worries, nor my pacing. It just suddenly made my anxiety level go up by about a thousand percent. Now I hand made five or four minutes before Bella would arrive. I had everything in order, and I everything was planned to the way I thought would be best. But what if she didn't like it? What if I stumbled my words? What if she didn't find a pet she liked? What if she didn't like- What if the ring, what if she wasn't fond of it? I purchased it many, many years ago.

I was with the Volturi at the time, and it wasn't very expensive then, but now it was sure to be quite a treasure merely for it's age. It was silver, darkened in places. The face of it was sort diamond shape, with lines of silver leading to the simpler stone that had once set in the center. I had replaced the paste stone, with an amethyst. Just for Bella. She liked purple very much, and I remembered talking a few times about how she never got how girls could wear big diamonds, and be so flashy.

When I thought about Bella, I thought of the ring I had purchased in my youth as a vampire. I didn't know why I had purchased it in the first place, but I just felt as if I needed too. I never gave it to Esme, didn't even show her it. I never even thought of it until I started planning asking Bella. Alice had confirmed Bella didn't fancy any other ring, and knew she would love this ring much more than another. She didn't need her visions for that, she was her best friend, besides Zoey of course. I had even asked her to though.

_Flashback:_

"What's up Doctor Cullen?" Zoey chirped brightly, after I had made motions for her to follow me while Bella had her attention's on a patient.

"Make rounds with me for a moment Zoe." She nodded, and looked around casually as we walked around the room, checking in on charts, and monitors. "I have something very, very, important I need to talk to you about. You must keep it a secret from Bella, I promise it isn't anything bad. I need you to promise though Zoey."

"Nothing bad? If it's something super-duper serious, and bad, I wish to invoke best friend mode and tell her."

"You have every right to tell her, but please don't. It's very important." I quickly ducked behind an empty, curtain, and waved my hand urgently at her. I pulled the small box out, and presented it to her, open.

"Carlisle. Your proposing to me? I think I'd have to tell-" I looked at her sternly, before she giggled, and clasped her hands over her mouth.

"Will she like this? I know it's soon, but I feel like I've waited a very long time to get to this point, and I don't want to waist anymore precious time. "

"Oh Carlise, it's not to soon, you two.. Your just _right. _She'll love the ring, it's stunning, and very her. Oh I can't wait till you ask her. When? Are you that is?"

"I'm not sure yet.." I looked down, and most likely would have been blushing if I hand been human.

_End Flashback. _

That hand been before we had visited Charlie, and the whole mess of Jacob happened. The tires rolled into the driveway, and I stopped pacing, put the ring back into my pocket. The car door opened, and I moved to place my jacket on, and walked out the door to greet them.

"Hello Ladies." I smiled widely at Bella, my breathing slightly hitched. She was beaming quite widely, and seemed like she was glowing, giggling slightly at something Rosalie had said.

"Hey." She said softly, leaning up and kissing me quite hard. I couldn't contain the happy moan, and earned gagging sounds from Rosalie, and a shrill scream from Alice as she zoomed into the house with armfuls of bags.

We both laughed at them, Bella blushing. I took her hands, and looked at her seriously. "Come. I wish to take you somewhere, and you're not getting out of it." I pulled her hands, as she merely smiled, looking a little bewildered. I opened the Mercedes door, and shut it behind her.

"Out of one car, and into another huh?"

"Well yes. We have somewhere very important to go." I backed out, and began our short trekk to the shelter.

"Am I dressed okay?"

"Of course darling. It isn't anywhere fancy. Just trust me."

"Always." I smiled, and listened to her heart, a little fast, as always when she was particularly happy with me. I gently took her hand, and steered with one hand.

It was a nice silence, if not a little anxious. But as soon as I slowed down infront of Arizona Humane Society. Her whole form changed, and she instantly got excited.

"Really? Today! Oh I'm so excited!" She shook my hand happily, before she bolted from the car as soon as it was parked.

I laughed happily, and my worries seemed to be pushed into the back of my mind as I saw my lovely Bella act like a child on Christmas. I quickly got out of the car, and joined her completely giddy side, retaking her hand and walking into the doors.

We walked to the counter, where I placed my hand on it, and smiled kindly at the woman behind the desk. "I made an appointment to look at some pets."

"Okay, what's the name?"

"Dr. Carlisle Cullen, and Isabella Swan." She began clicking away at keys, as she found our file. It was surprisingly complicated to adopt animals.

"Yes, yes perfect." She picked up the phone, dialing someone."Shelly, could you take this kind couple on a tour." She hung up the phone after a mm-hmm. " It's listed here that you don't know if you're getting a cat or a dog yet?" Finally looking up from her computer screen.

"Yes, Bella was a little-"

"Dog. I want a dog." She looked up at me under her lashes. "Cat's always seem to be plotting the end of the world anyway."

"Dog it is then."

"Great choice." Presumably Shelly said, as she walked up to us. "This way. It's always nice to show the dogs off more than the kitties. Can't really walk them."

"That is true." Bella and I said at the same time, making Shelly smile back at us, as she opened the door to the loud room of dogs.

"Are you looking for a puppy, middle-aged, or a senior?"

"We were thinking on a puppy, starting out young." She nodded.

"They are in the quieter area, but we have to walk pas these guys first." She began to lead the way, and Bella began to make light chit-chat with her about never having previously owned a pet before, and how exciting it was for her.

We were going past the last corridor of dogs, when I saw her. Compared to the other dog's she was very different, while most were barking loudly at us, or cowering away or completely ignoring. This one was sitting down, and pressing her face against the fencing. We went past, she stood, and her tail began to wag, and I stopped dead in my tracks. Dog's didn't do that to me. It was the reason we wanted a puppy, to make them unafraid of me, get past there natural instincts.

I walked up too.. Her. My eyes scanned the little paper that held her information.

My name is Amelia.

I am a neutered female, Red/Black Terrier, American Pit Bull/Mix.

The shelter thinks I am about 2 years old.

I have been at the shelter since Jan 06, 2013.

-I weigh 82 lbs.

-I don't love everyone, but I listen very well, and I'll be perfect for someone special.

-Because of my rambunctious nature I need to go to a home with older mature children (16+)

-I am a big energetic girl that would love nothing more than to go running or hiking with my new family!

-I never learned how to share very well, so I need to be monitored around food and toys with other dogs.

-I am house, leash, and crate trained!

I am a hopeful doggie; you can adopt me for $35!

I know I am big, but I am gentle to those who are gentle to me.

I kneeled down, and placed my hand against the fencing, which she very promptly began to lick happily. The girls talking had ceased, and Bella was at my side. "Why has she been here so long? She's beautiful. Aren't you Amelia?" She poked her finger through the holes, and the dog moved from me, to Bella.

"She's very cheap too. The other dog's we've walked past are much more."

"Oh! Don't do that- she's-"

Then I noticed the yellow cation tape across the door to her. I couldn't stop myself from laughing. "Vicous? But she's- She's an angel. Look at her."

Then Shelly took a step forward, and the dog, looked directly at her and growled lowly. A slow, slightly creepy smile lit up Bella's face before to spoke very confidently. "We'll take her. We don't have kids, and there isn't any that comes to our home that isn't over the age of twenty. We'll get a fence, and make sure she's leashed. "

"Are you sure- I mean we have-"

"We want this one ma'am. We'll even pay more if we have too.

"Oh. Okay." Shelly looked a little flustered. "Do you have a leash? We have-"

I pulled the lavender colored leash from my jacket pocket, and gave it to Bella. "I come prepaired. But I fear I wasn't expected such a big dog." I lifted up the tiny collar to Bella, who snorted.

After a lot of people attempting to convince us to get a puppy, or virtually any other dog, we finally walked out of the shelter, with a very happy Amelia pulling at her leash, and prancing around the parking lot.

"We should of took my car. Your baby is going to have dog hair all over it's leather."

"We'll have to get used to that."

"Someone's going to have to stay home with her." She said softly, as we walked her in the grass by the building.

"Oh- maybe-"

"I've thought about quitting. Not permanently, but for a bit. I mean, it's not right to hide our relationship. Your a doctor, I'm a nurse. It only makes since that it's me. Besides, I need to catch up on my reading. " She smiled over at me, as I froze in my place. "And I'd like to write again. Also her little paper said she likes hiking. Long walks for you Amelia!" The dog barked happily back at her. "Sunlight for mom! A normal time schedule once again. It's going to be so odd. But it's been taking a lot out of me. You've noticed, I know you have. I don't know what's up with me. Early today I got sick too. This morning, I'm sure you heard."

"You seemed to not want to mention it. I didn't want to make you ill by mentioning. Are you sure you okay with stopping? I know you've been constantly going, and going. You deserve a break, but I don't want it to be about me. "

"It isn't honey. Trust me." She winked at me, and we made out way back to the car.

**AN: The ring will be posted on my page, and theres other links to pictures on there as well. The next chapter, despite my broken promises, will be out in a few days. School is over for the year, so now I just have work and my newfound obsession with Tom Hiddles, and Benedict Cumberbatch. **


	25. Chapter 25

_**Authors Note: SEE! Semi normal update time! lol I was going to update this alot sooner, but my computer crashed while putting the finishing touches on this chapter i had worked on for hours... cutting in half when i logged back on... -.- i think it's better now though. :)**_

_**and yes, I know I'm a tease.**_

_**Songs: Stars By The XX is sort of a good way to represent Carlisle and Bella's 'first date' give it a listen, I had it on replay alot with this chappie. Also Crystalised by the same artist. **_

_Ophelia was a bride of god  
A novice Carmelite  
In sister cells the cloister bells  
Tolled on her wedding night_

Ophelia was a rebel girl  
A blue stocking suffragette  
Who remedied society  
Between her cigarettes

Ophelia was a sweetheart  
To the nation over night  
Curvaceous thighs  
Vivacious eyes  
Love was at first sight...

_**Ophelia- Natalie Merchant**_

_**Carlisle:**_

Amelia kept trying to lick Bella's face or ear, while we were driving home. It was simply to adorable watching Bella sqeek with delight, and gently tell her no to not stare. "Carlisle! Watch the road." I chuckled, and looked forward. Even though I really didn't need too, I knew the route in my head, and I could hear any cars approaching, people or animals. Instinct would take us home, but to make her feel safer I did as I was told.

I still couldn't understand fully why Bella was deciding to leave the hospital, perhaps if she got bored she could find a part time job at a clinic. She might like that, I would have to look around for her. It was sudden though, but she had been so tired as of late. She deserved a break from all the work she had done.

The knot of phantom nausea, and nerves returned to my stomach the closer we got home. It was strange feeling that way, after so long of not needing any substance, feeling as if I was going to wretch. Merely by the thought of her saying no.

"Carlisle? Is something wrong? You-"

"No. No nothing at all darling." I smiled at her gently. "We'll have to give Amelia a bath once we get home."

"Yes! She does smell like the pound huh? She'll have to use my shampoo until we can get stuff for her."

"I bought her food, and things, but I didn't think of that." I frowned. Maybe I wasn't so ready.

"That's okay, you'll like smelling like coconuts won't you Amelia?" Bella reached back, and petted her on the head, rubbing one of her ears. She responded by licking at her wrist, and forearm.

We were home soon, and we let Amelia roam on the leash, before bringing her around to the backyard letting her loose. She went completely crazy, running at all different angles in grass I managed to grow. She really was a beautiful dog, and I did like her. I never had a pet before, and I was shocking myself on how excited I was. She actually liked me, not even a moment of fear or anger towards me.

"She seems to like it here." I said smiling, and looking over to Bella.

"Who wouldn't? Oh I'm just so happy Carlisle. I haven't been this happy in such a long time. Everything is.. Just." She sighed happily, beaming, before she lifted up on her tip toes to kiss me. I wrapped my arms around her waist, and lifted, so she wouldn't have to strain. She gasped slightly, wrapping her arms around my neck. _Ruff._

"Oh!" We both said at the same time, pulling back, and looking down. Amelia was at our feet, tail wagging madly, and panting slightly making her look like she was smiling. We laughed, and I let Bella slide down me, and rest again on the ground.

"Come on girl, let's show you the house." I took Bella hand, kissing her cheek briskly, before we began to give Amelia the 'tour' of the house.

We made it all the way to the bathroom with Bella happily animating each room in her 'tour guide' voice. All while a phantom heart in my chest raced. Nervous and nearly sweaty, even though that was impossible, from the biggest question I was ever going to ask.

"Now, smelly girl. You get a bath." She said happily.

The dog seemed to frown as she sat by the bathtub. "Do you want me to help you, or to start dinner?" I asked her.

"You can-"

"Oh I'll just got put it on the stove, and run back up here to help you." I interrupted, a little rudely, and rushed downstairs. Getting the pot filled with water.

I needed to calm down. I had no idea why I was reacting this badly. I hated to compare, but it was never, _ever_ like this was Esmé. And that was a wonderful thing, all this newness. I felt so young, and so so human. I closed my eyes, and took a deep breath. The water ran over my hands, and I jumped, shutting it off and pouring out a bit of it. I sat it on the burner, turning it on. I swiftly grabbed another pot, and pour the contents of jar of sauce into it. Once everything was prepared, and I was just about to head back upstairs, Bella screamed.

Small giddy scream, followed by a strew of giggles. I smiled contentedly. It was like she had been turned into a child. It was a shame she never had a pet when she was younger. I jogged at human pace upstairs, and peered into the bathroom. Bella was completely soaked, on her knees, and leaning over the tub. Amelia had white bubbles all of her fur, and looked rather proud of herself. "How are my women doing in here?"

"We're doing great. Apparently Amelia thought I might join her." I chuckled as she looked back at me, her cheek even having a bit of soap on it.

"Well. I do like you wet."

She sucked in her breath dramatically. "_Carlisle!_" Then was a quickness I didn't think she had in her, she tossed a small bucket of water into my face before jumping up and hugging me. Effectively soaking me as well. I laughed, and play wrestled her, kissing her cheek, her neck, and running my hands over as much of her as I could. Bella screamed with delight making Amelia jump out the tub, jump on the both of us.

Bella giggled, and tried to catch her breath. "Come on, help me rinse her." When managed to get into one more water fight before we dried her down, Bella spraying my face with the shower head, and me tackling her to the floor, with Amelia licking my face in protest. We then made a bed of blankets for her in the living room by the couch, and went up stairs to get changed.

I couldn't stop myself, I kissed her again. Her hair was such in a wonderful mess, and her wet clothes clung to her body. The hell with the food. I pulled at her shirt as she kissed me back, hands tugging at my hair. She pulled the shirt off quickly, and moved her hands to my black shirt. _The ring is in my pants pocket. _For a moment I froze in panic, before quickly pulling my shirt off, and moving her backwards to the bed. _Now. _I can do it now, she's so happy, and so lovely. _This is it._

She sat on the bed, pulled at my shoulders as I kissed her harder, my tongue making way into her mouth.

I moved to my knees, and her legs instantly opened letting me settle between them, pulling her close to my chest. I broke away from her, letting her breathe, moving to her neck. I kissed just below her ear, and all the way to the tops of each of her breasts. Light gentle kisses. I placed my ear over her heart, listening to the quickened pace, the steady beat._. _I felt the phantom feeling times five then, her heart running through me. _She was my heart. _ She pushed her fingers through my hair and I sighed.

"Isabella, do you love me?" I asked softly.

"Carlisle, you know I do." She breathed.

"I just want to hear it." I could hear her lick her lips in thought.

"I love you Carlisle, I love you more than I ever thought I would or could, meaning not you. But more about the capacity I am physically able to love one person. One man, so much. I thought I was so broken, so unable to love or to be loved. When you came along, alone, and lonely into my life I took a huge risk. A final jump. It was the single best decision I have ever made. So yes, Carlisle, I love you." She kissed my forehead softly, and I leaned back to look at her in the eyes.

"For weeks, months, I've been planning a way to do this. Planning a way to tell you how much I love you, how much I need you. Then you, just phrase it together so perfectly.. " I laughed a little shakily. " Isabella... You are my life. I didn't think I could burn this brightly, that I could feel so human, so happy, and alive. Not ever again. I didn't even feel this good when I was a human, so I have simply no means to compare you with. Your like every single classic love song, and every single rock song you've made me listen too, and love. Your youth, and wisdom, your... Everything. You are so new to me, and I want to keep you forever. I want to discover things with you for years, centuries. I want to show you the world the way I see it. Let you read all the books I know you want to read, show you the culture of different countries, of different vampires." I took a deep breath, looking down. My next words coming out a little desperate, and needful.

"I'm never letting you go, and Isabella, I want you so badly to marry me. I want to see you in white, and walking towards me. I want your father to place your hand in mine, I want you to wear my ring so that every man knows your taken. I want your last name to forever be Cullen, but most of all I want you to say yes." I moved up to one knee, pulling the small black box from my pocket. Her heart was racing even more, and she was flushed from her chest to high in her cheeks. Tears welling in her big brown eyes.

"Isabella Marie Swan, will you do me the immense honor of becoming my wife?" I opened the box, gently placing it in her small hand. Her head began to shake yes so violently, and her free hand moved to my cheek as her tears spilled over.

"_Yes,_ yes, yes, yes. Yes Carlisle, I'll marry you." She kissed me, and it felt like the first time all over again. The intense feeling of nerves disappeared, and it was all Bella. Her smell, her touch, her everything. I groaned, painfully breaking away from her. I picked the ring from the box, and she held a steady hand out. I gently pushed the ring gently on her left hands ring finger, a perfect fit.

"Do you like it?" I asked.

"It's so beautiful Carlisle. I love it." She stroked the ring gently before pulling it to her chest. "This.. This is the best day of my life Carlisle." I kissed her hard, pushing her fully onto the bed. She moaned, her back arching into me, and her hips grinding against mine making me groan. My hands snaked around her back, pulling at the black bra she wore. The back to the future theme song started to play. I whined loudly, and so did Bella. I pulled my phone from my pocket, still on top of Bella, and resting on her chest again.

"What do you want Alice?" I growled into the phone.

"The stove! In five minutes the sauce will burn, then in ten minutes the fire alarm will go off making your doggie go insane. Don't think I enjoy this, it's very disturbing actuall- " I ended the call, groaning in despair.

"The food." I said. And all most instantly Bella's stomach growled, and she flushed a dark red. I laughed, and leaned back placing a gentle kiss to her lips. "Come on honey." I pulled her, up, and she wrapped her arms around me, kissing my chest just where my heart should of been.

We walked downstairs, I rushed to turn off the stove top for the sauce. I put the noodles in the bowling water as Bella sat on the counter in just her bra and still damp jeans.

"Whats the date today?" She asked, swinging her legs.

"June 28." I answered promptly, as I pulled out the tomatoes, and began to dice them next to her.

"What?"

"June 28th, darling." I repeated.

_"What?"_ I turned to look at her face, staring in the distance, and counting on her fingers.

"Bella what's wrong honey?"

"Did I have my period this month?" She asked, I thought back before biting my lip.

"No. You didn't."

"Well I was going to say that it's a special day for our engagement and Amelia, but I took my pill this morning, and I had two extra. Meaning I missed two days this month, and I haven't had my period, and.. And.. I got sick _this morning, and the last, and the one before that." _ I stopped chopping completely.

"Bell- Bella that's.. That's impossible, we can't, I can't-" Her hand was on her stomach, and her breathing was getting quicker.

"Vampires are frozen in time, meaning women can no longer have a cycle, but men are almost always fertile Carlisle. Especially twenty four year old men. Carlisle, what if. What if I am? We do it every day, surely we did it on the days I didn't take the damned thing. What do we do?" She looked at me desperately, and for the first time I noticed my own rapid breathing. I closed my eyes, and took a deep breathe. Everything she was saying was illogical to my entire life's knowledge. But never had there been a vampire man, that fell in love with a human girl, and made love to them while they were still human. Sure there where incubus, and succubus, but that never produced.. _Children. _But then, at the same time, all she was saying was so plausible. But so remarkably remarkable. A miracle if it was true. _I could be... _My eyes snapped open.

"Lean back honey." She moved her hands, and leaned back a little as I moved my head down to her stomach, pressing my ear against her. I listened, there was.. _something _ but nothing could have been heard this soon anyway. "We need to get tests.. I'll-"

"We will." She said.

"We will go to the store.. Let me fix this first. I know you'll be hungry either way." I quickly pulled the cooked noodles off the stove, and strained them, mixing them in the sauce, then putting it in the over on warm in record time.

I looked up to Bella to find her smiling, looking rather amused. "Let's go." She nodded, and took my hand, and we made it to the door before realizing Bella was still shirtless.

"Oh my god. I've lost it." I laughed loudly, and leaned against the door frame as she went opened the closet and pulled out a hoodie. She zipped it up, shooting me a glare. "Your supposed to tell me things like that, vampire."

"I'm a little distracted." She looked down, at her stomach, placing a hand over it softly.

"If.. If.. I want-" _I want the baby, but I don't want to curse it by saying it outloud. _

"I know." I said softly, and she looked up at me, the question in her eyes. _You do too? _I looked back at her smiling as brightly as I could. "Of course."


End file.
